feeling like he kept winding up with the losing hand in a game with rules he didn’t understand. Jared’s and Matt’s faces bore identical scowls when Joel sat down.
“So, what happened in school today?” Billy asked, unable to hide a look of resignation.
Matt didn’t answer; he seemed to be contemplating.
“Were dere birfdays?” Caleb wanted to know.
Matt shook his head, but Ryan said, “There were no birthdays, but Trey took the bracelet that Mary got for her birthday and Mary had to chase him all around the playground.”
Joel thought he saw a slight smile hit Jared’s face, even though Jared didn’t seem willing to add to the conversation.
“How about you?” Billy encouraged. “Did you see Trey chasing Mary?”
“No,” Matt admitted, “but I saw him get in trouble. Miss Armstrong made him sit out the rest of recess.”
Ryan and Caleb finished their food within minutes. Ryan took out a homework paper. Caleb went into the living room to admire the two giant bags of birthday decorations that he promised not to touch. After a moment, Ryan shouted, “Done!” and headed for the living room to tease his little brother about the birthday present bandit.
Billy looked at Matt, who’d taken two tiny bites of his hot dog and totally ignored the fries. “You don’t need to clean your plate tonight.”
Joel couldn’t tell who was more surprised: Matt or Jared.
Maybe Matt. He looked at his grandpa without moving.
“Go ahead,” Jared urged, adding to the conversation for the first time.
Still, Matt dragged his feet. Finally, Jared held up a finger. “One.” Then up went another finger. “Two.” Matt’s plate made it to the sink on four; he made it out the kitchen door on five.
Without the boys, the room took on an uncomfortable quiet.
Billy didn’t waste a minute. In a serious tone, he began, “Joel and I were talking after I picked up the boys. We didn’t get a chance to finish.”
Jared didn’t even question about what, just gave Joel a suspicious and unwelcoming look.
“First,” Billy said, “why don’t you tell us what brought you home.”
The expression on Billy’s face didn’t change. He’d been a principal for more than forty years and told anybody willing to listen that “he’d seen it all.” He’d been a successful principal because while he’d seen it all, he was still willing to listen.
Jared didn’t say anything. His lips were puckered in a straight line that Joel recognized. He didn’t really care what Joel had to say, just wanted Joel out of here and for things to go back to normal. Listening to his little brother was so low on his list of priorities that it wasn’t a priority at all.
“I should have stayed in New Mexico.” Joel didn’t mean it, though. Something about being in his childhood kitchen, seeing the school papers held by magnets on the fridge, and sitting at the table where he’d helped his mom make cookies and in turn his mom had helped him with homework, something about it all made him catch his breath and consider what he’d given up.
“You keep up with my career?” Joel asked.
Jared shook his head, but Billy said, “You’ve been a midlister for quite a while.”
A midlister, not a rodeo term but definitely a retired teacher term, felt like a grade of C. “I’m only eight years in,” Joel said. “I still have at least ten years of competition ahead of me.”
Jared gave a half snort.
“The highest standing you’ve managed to reach is fifty,” Billy said.
“And that kind of standing has earned me enough money to stay in the show even after the seed money was spent.”
Jared tensed. The seed money might have been Joel’s half of the farm, but in Jared’s mind, the farm needed it more than Joel.
Billy held up his hand, halting the dialogue. “This is not the conversation I meant to have. What exactly brought you home? I read that you were injured, but I don’t recall which rodeo or what happened.”
“I was in Lovington, New Mexico, just over a month ago. I did fine, came in third and took home a purse of just under two thousand dollars. I was supposed to meet up with some friends in Missouri after that, but the morning I was to leave, the Monday after the rodeo, I had a hard time getting out of bed. I was as stiff as I’d ever been.”
“You came in third, so you kept your seat,” Billy remembered.
“That I did. The only thing I can figure is I must have landed wrong, hurt myself and not even realized it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I went to bed fine, woke up stiff that morning and by evening, a buddy literally carried me to the truck and drove me to the emergency room. I’ve never hurt so much. I couldn’t move to the left or right without nauseating pain. Doctor there said acute lumbar strain and vertebrae damage. For a solid week, I was in bed, in a lonely motel room. After that, I started physical therapy, and everything seemed to be going great. I could bend, jump and even lift. Then, after about two weeks of that, I was walking toward the motel room and I can’t even describe what it felt like, except that my back did a little break-dance of its own without my permission. Just like that, I was back in bed and on pain pills. After a week, I realized I couldn’t do it on my own.”
“And that’s when you decided to come home,” Billy figured.
Joel looked at Billy and then at his brother. On Billy’s face was an expression of concern. Jared’s face, however, remained suspicious.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“You were right to come home,” Billy said.
Looking at Jared, Joel continued, “This is truly the strangest injury I’ve ever had. One day I feel like I could possibly jump on the back of a bull and do the eight-second ride, the next day I’m wondering if I can make it to the bathroom.”
“So basically,” Jared stated, looking at Billy and not at Joel, “he’s coming home because he needs help but he can’t be of any help.”
“I—” Joel started.
“—always have a home here,” Billy said firmly. “I won’t lie. I’m having a hard time forgiving how you literally ran away, how few times you called and how you never came home when we needed you.”
“I didn’t find out about Mandy until it was too late,” Joel started. “I would—”
“No excuses. We’re done.” Billy looked at Jared. “The Bible’s very clear. It’s about time you dust yours off. Joel is family, and Jesus clearly states in the fifth chapter of First Timothy that ‘if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.’”
