not to notice how he managed to look so much like a doctor at ease with himself and the world. Why was it that everything fell into place for him as though he had been born to the job? What had happened to that rebellious young man who’d challenged the adults around him at every opportunity and had generally made his presence felt?
‘Hi, there,’ he said cheerfully. ‘I’ve been wondering if I would run into you at all today. I heard that you’d been sent over to Neonatal. How’s it going?’ He looked at her closely. ‘Not so well, from the looks of things.’
‘You’re right,’ she answered. ‘I’m not at all sure that I’m cut out for it. The babies are all so frail and ill, as though they’re just clinging on to life, and I feel as though they need someone much more capable than me to take care of them.’
‘You wanted more time to get used to the idea?’
She nodded. ‘It was a bit of a shock to find myself posted there. Apparently I’m also supposed to attend A and E if there’s a case that needs to be transferred to Neonatal. These next few months are going to be sheer hell.’
‘I’m sure you’ll survive.’ His grey eyes met hers. ‘You can always come and cry on my shoulder. I’ll be here to pick up the pieces, any time.’
She gave a brief, tight smile. ‘Yeah, sure you will.’
He draped an arm around her shoulders. ‘You’re a good doctor, Phoebe—I’ve heard people say as much. You qualified the year before last, didn’t you, and you have the world at your fingertips. What you need is to have more confidence in yourself.’
‘That’s easier said than done, isn’t it? It’s all very well for you, in your third year after qualifying—you must already know that you’ve made the grade.’
She tried to keep a level tone, but it was hard for her to even think straight with his hand curved around her shoulder that way. His closeness was compelling, as though he would shield her from all life’s hardships. She could feel the warmth of his fingers seeping through the cotton of her blouse, right through to her flesh, and little eddies of sensation were rippling out in ever-widening circles along her arm and the back of her neck. It was comforting and disturbing, all at the same time.
It was distracting. She shouldn’t be feeling like this…She had no idea why Connor’s touch should make her feel so strange. Alex was the man she cared about, the one who made her feel warm and protected, the one who made her light up inside with his smile.
Connor was the one who brought a ripple of nervous excitement to her stomach, who filled her mind and her stomach with fluttery feelings of peculiar expectation. As a youth he had always been wayward and rebellious, a boy who had made her feel unsettled and somehow represented a sensual threat to her well-being, but as a man he was doubly so, for reasons she couldn’t begin to explain to herself. All she knew was that he was to be avoided at all costs. It wouldn’t do to let him pierce her defences.
‘You’ll do it, too. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll make the grade. You’ll see, you’ll work out what it is that you really want, and you’ll end up with the career that satisfies you beyond all else.’ He smiled down at her, his grey-blue eyes searching her face and seeking out everything she would have kept hidden from him. ‘You were always the sensible one, the girl who had her priorities all worked out. People know they can rely on you, Phoebe, and that will go for the children in your care, too.’
‘I’m glad you think so. I just wish I wasn’t filled with so many doubts.’
‘You shouldn’t let them get to you. You haven’t changed a bit, from what I’ve seen. You’re cool under pressure, caring, practical and completely organised…all the things that make for a doctor who can be relied on. And you’re beautiful, with it…even more beautiful than I remember.’ His gaze intensified, lit by a warm glint of appreciation. ‘When I saw you last night, wearing that dress that looked as though it had been sprayed on, I thought, Wow, that girl is a stunner.’
A quick flush of colour ran along her cheekbones. ‘Well, thanks for that, I think…’ She sent him a quizzical look. ‘Not that I recall you ever commenting as such in the past. Then again, you were always too busy racketing around.’
‘Not a bit of it. I had a very clear view of you…silky blonde hair shining like a halo of gold, and blue eyes as deep as the ocean. A soft, kissable mouth…What I wouldn’t have given to explore the possibilities there…only you were always just that little bit out of reach…’ He gazed down at her, a smile playing around his mouth. ‘That was deliberate, wasn’t it? You weren’t ever going to let me that near you…at least, not close enough to make any kind of physical impact.’
Her brows lifted. ‘Can you blame me? I saw too many girls wandering around with broken hearts, wondering where it was they had gone wrong.’ She wagged a finger at him. ‘But I knew where the answer lay. Their mistake was in thinking that you could ever be serious about any of them.’
Her mouth twisted slightly. ‘I really don’t see that things are any different now. You’re just that bit older and more experienced at winding women around your little finger. I was never going to let myself be counted among them.’
She had always been well aware of Connor when they’d been young. Alex was keen to spend time with his cousin, and since she and Alex were good friends it followed that she would run into Connor every now and again.
They went around together in a group, from time to time, and she enjoyed the usual banter and camaraderie, but she was always careful to keep a guard on her heart where Connor was concerned.
She treated him to a high-voltage smile. ‘And that still stands. You can cross me off your list of would-be conquests. I had the vaccination early and I’m immune.’
‘And I’m cut to the quick to hear you say that.’ He put on a wounded look. ‘I don’t know how you could imagine that I would play with your feelings that way. I practically grew up with you. I think the world of you.’
She laughed. ‘Maybe. I’m sure plenty of people would believe you.’ She fixed him with her gaze. ‘So, tell me how things are going for you. On the work front, I mean. I expect you found your feet straight away in A and E.’
He gave a slight shrug, letting his hand drop away from her, and immediately she felt as though a draught of cold air had wafted over her. ‘It’s okay, I guess.’
He didn’t seem to have any problem with changing the direction of the conversation, and that only confirmed her belief that he was all gloss and no substance.
‘It’s scary, some of the things these children get up to, though,’ he added. ‘You’d think they would have an inbuilt sense of self-preservation, but time and again you see them involved in accidents that might have been prevented. Only this morning I had to treat a six-year-old boy who fell thirty feet from a tree.’
She frowned. ‘Is he going to be okay?’
‘I think so. With any luck, there’ll be no lasting damage. He has a couple of limbs in plaster, and we’re keeping him under observation for a head injury, but he’s better than we might have expected.’
‘That’s a relief.’ She sighed. ‘It’s always boys, isn’t it? It seems as though they simply have to push things to the limit when it comes to exploration and inquisitiveness.’
She wrinkled her nose at him.
