misunderstand. I didn’t mean what’s under here, although my physical deformity would be difficult for any woman to accept.” He rubbed his flattened palm over his shirt. “I meant what’s in here.” He tapped his heart first, then his temple. “The war changed me in ways I can’t begin to describe. I don’t trust like I used to. I don’t hope. Don’t believe in the basic goodness of human beings. I don’t have the ability to make anyone happy.”
The bleakness in his features robbed her of speech.
“Since your daughter is on the mend, I’ll make the necessary arrangements for you to remove to the hotel tomorrow afternoon.”
He walked away from her again, something he was rather good at.
* * *
For the second day in a row, Noah ate his breakfast at the jail. He wasn’t happy about it, either. The early-dawn ride into town had passed in a blur. One of the Murdoch brothers could’ve swooped in and he wouldn’t have known it until the last second. He’d lost his concentration and focus because of the comely young widow.
Constance Miller. Funny, the name Constance didn’t really suit her.
Adjusting his gun belt, he smashed his Stetson on his head, ordered Wolf to stay put and left the jail.
Sticking around this morning would’ve been the polite thing to do. Constance and her daughters were his guests, unwelcome though they may be, and his ma had instilled good manners in him and his sisters. But he’d found himself growing captivated in the brief moments he’d spent with her. She was a woman of contrasts. Beneath that feminine, fragile exterior lay fire-purified strength and the determination of an approaching storm. What she’d managed to accomplish in one day both stunned and impressed him. Noah would never admit it, but hers was the best fried chicken he’d ever tasted, even better than his ma’s. And that moist, dense cake bursting with flavor... His mouth watered thinking about it. He could get used to coming home to fine meals like that.
But would she ever get used to welcoming a man such as him?
Constance said she didn’t mind the scars, but she’d spoken the words in haste. She would say anything to get him to agree to the marriage Will had promised her. Well, she could have her Cowboy Creek husband—it just wasn’t going to be him. She’d thank him later.
Noah was in the middle of the intersection on his way to the Cattleman when he recognized his friend Daniel Gardner. He and his new bride, Leah, were preparing to enter Booker & Son general store. Changing course, he lifted his hand and called Daniel’s name.
They both turned at the same time. Leah’s shining blond tresses rippled in the breeze. Her apricot dress was let out at the waist to showcase her expanding form. Thanks to Leah, Opal and the reverend’s daughter, Hannah, their town’s population was on its way up. More mail-order brides meant new families, cementing Cowboy Creek’s future. Constance’s impish countenance flashed in his mind. If she settled on one of their businessmen or ranchers, she’d likely add to the population, as well.
The thought felt like a hot poker plunged in his gut. Calling up his annoyance at Daniel’s actions, he strode to meet the couple.
“Noah.” Daniel’s deep green eyes searched his, gauging his mood. “I was going to stop by the jail once we’d finished our shopping.”
“Good morning, Noah.” Leah glowed with good health, her smile a testament to the success of her and Daniel’s union.
Will, Daniel and Leah had grown up together in Pennsylvania. She and Will had gotten engaged at a young age, but the distance during the war had taken its toll on the relationship. Leah ultimately married a Union officer and moved away, so discovering she was on their first bride train had shocked both men. Even more of a shock was the fact she was widowed and expecting a baby. Wanting to provide a stable, secure life for her, Daniel had hidden the feelings he’d never declared behind an offer of a marriage based on friendship.
Fortunately for his friend, love had blossomed between the two. It was that love and happy marital state that surely must’ve prompted Daniel to go against Noah’s wishes and do the unthinkable.
“I went to your office about an hour ago,” he told Daniel. “They said you hadn’t come in today.”
Fiddling with her earbob, Leah blushed. “That was my fault. I needed my husband at home this morning.”
The smile Daniel bestowed on her spoke of a happiness Noah could only dream of.
“Why don’t you go on in while I speak to Noah? I’ll join you in a bit.”
Nodding, she balanced her weight against his arm and, leaning into him, planted a kiss on his cheek. “See you later, darling. And you, Noah.”
“Take it easy, Leah.”
By silent agreement, they moved along Second Street until they came to the deserted churchyard. This side street wasn’t as busy as the main thoroughfare. Through the wooded area behind the church building, the roof of Will and Tomasina’s house was visible.
“I saw Will yesterday.” Seeking out the shade of a sixty-foot-tall box elder tree, Daniel removed his derby hat and dusted off the crown. A hank of chestnut hair slipped into his eyes, and he impatiently shoved it aside. As owner of the stockyards, he favored cowboy attire. Today, however, he was dressed like Will, in a fine brown suit and polished boots. “He told me about the widow and her daughters. What’s she like?”
“That’s your first question?” Noah demanded, throwing his hands wide. “I thought your first would be to ask how I’m coping with this latest problem in a long string of them. One I didn’t ask for and didn’t see coming. I never dreamed my closest friends would go behind my back and do something so underhanded.”
Daniel looked disconcerted. “We didn’t do it to add to your burdens. Our goal was to force you out of this ridiculous solitude you’ve consigned yourself to.”
“It’s not ridiculous,” he ground out. “You know why I’ve chosen this life.”
“I was in the war, too, remember?” he said quietly. “Man or woman, adult or child, I’m not convinced you’d find anyone in this nation who came through it unaffected. That doesn’t mean you have to give up on life. You’re as worthy of happiness as the rest of us, Noah.”
“I don’t agree. The way I feel inside... I’m a different man than I used to be.”
“Different doesn’t necessarily mean worse.”
They would never have like minds on the subject. “I wish you and Will had discussed your scheme with me before you acted. This woman you’ve brought here has her mind set on staying. She’s convinced our town will prove a fine setting in which to raise her young daughters.”
“Is she not someone you can envision building a life with?”
Noah tilted his head back and stared at the knotty branches and matte undersides of the leaves suspended from them.
“I don’t believe we’d get along,” he said.
“How do you figure?” One dark brow quirked up.
“We have the bad habit of making
