it before … and could do it a thousand times and never tire of it.
But there was doubt weighing heavily in his mind. An uncertainty that he could stay the course. A hesitation in his heart that he could not be relied on in a forever situation. His greatest misgiving would be his ability to last the distance and not break the hearts of those who loved him.
Until now that had never been tested. Until now he had never wanted to really get to know a woman beyond a one-night stand or contemplate being a part of a woman’s life.
The feelings that he was experiencing were all new to him. Mitchell was at an unexpected crossroad with no clue how he intended on navigating his future.
He stood in silence alone on the beach more confused than he had ever been.
Jade crossed to the scrub room and slipped on a disposable gown over the white nursing uniform she had pulled from her suitcase and pressed that morning. Morning had come quickly after another good night’s sleep. Amber’s day had been so filled with fun and adventure with her grandparents and then her early birthday dinner that she had been exhausted and had slept through the night, allowing Jade to do the same.
Jade’s shift began at two in the afternoon and she would finish at ten that night. Arthur had offered to drive her but Jade had insisted on catching the tram as the temp agency had advised, since their home was not far from the tram stop on Jetty Road. She really didn’t want to impose and it gave her a chance to see more of the city on her walk.
She reached out with her foot to the pedal to turn on the tap and noticed a woman in her late twenties, with a worried expression and dressed in a gown and slippers, drying her hands. Jade gave her an encouraging smile.
‘I hope to be going home soon. It’s my third day,’ the woman said softly, returning a meek smile. ‘I so wish I was taking Jasper with me but that will be a while, they say. How long do prem babies usually stay in hospital?’
‘It’s hard to say because all babies are different,’ Jade began to explain. ‘It depends on how your baby’s progressing. Babies who are smaller and those born earlier sometimes have some medical problems other than just being tiny and so tend to stay longer on the unit. But a premature baby who is otherwise well usually stays in the neonatal unit until around the date he or she was due to be born. If your baby does very well, is eating and gaining weight, then he or she might even be able go home even sooner. How early was Jasper?’
‘Ten weeks early. He’s on a ventilator because he has a lung problem that I don’t really understand,’ she returned quietly. ‘Hy-mem … something disease. The doctor tried to explain it to me but I didn’t really understand. And I didn’t want to ask too many questions. I thought he might think I’m being pushy, wanting to know everything medical when I’m not a doctor or even think I’m stupid for not understanding.’
Jade knew from her training and years of neonatal nursing that mothers of premature babies and their families all faced uncertainty and this caused raised levels of anxiety. Visiting their baby in Neonatal Intensive Care was a stressful situation that most knew little or nothing about.
‘It’s important that you never think of yourself as being difficult. Any questions you might have are valid,’ Jade explained, as she turned off the tap with her elbow. She was aware that the exchange of information allowed the nurses to gauge the stress within the family and most particularly the mother’s ability to cope. ‘Parents need to feel a part of the decisions being made for their baby, and you can’t do that if you don’t understand what is happening.’
‘Really? He won’t mind if I keep asking questions, and he won’t think they’re silly things I’m asking? It’s just that you’re here every day and it’s all so new to me.’
‘I promise you that the doctors and the nursing staff would never think of any questions as silly. More than likely the doctor assumed that you knew what he was saying if you didn’t ask any questions, and I guarantee he would have been more than happy to explain it to you. You’re a mother of a newborn in intensive care and you have every right and need to know what is happening throughout his treatment. Please, never hesitate to ask any of us whatever you want to know.’
The young woman sighed and seemed to lift in confidence a little.
‘I just don’t know what the disease is and why Jasper has it?’
‘Hyaline membrane disease is also called infant respiratory distress syndrome and is suffered by almost half of premature babies under thirty weeks,’ Jade offered instinctively as the woman’s body language showed she was relaxing. ‘It means that every time Jasper breathes in he has to expand his lungs completely. Healthy lungs don’t collapse to an airless state, but because of his prematurity Jasper’s lungs are deflating totally. It makes breathing very hard work for him.’
The woman dropped the dampened paper towel into the bin and tentatively approached Jade, looking for reassurance. ‘So it’s common, then?’
‘Many premature babies have issues with breathing as a result of their early arrival, and even if they aren’t as premature as Jasper they can still have this problem. But your baby is in very good hands here. If you have any questions about Jasper and the doctor isn’t available, just ask any of the nurses.’
‘I haven’t seen you here before. You’re American. Have you moved to Adelaide to live?’
‘No, I’m on a working holiday. Today is my first shift and I will be here for the next three weeks. So let me know if you have any other questions. I’ll be here tonight till late.’
‘Thanks so much. I have to express some milk and grab something to eat. The nurse told me that I have to keep up my calories to make sure I can produce enough for Jasper.’
Jade nodded. ‘Yes, you do. You have to get sleep and rest and eat well for both you and Jasper. One of the most important things you and your partner can do for your baby is look after yourselves. Get sleep, eat healthy meals, and take a break from it all. It’s exhausting having a baby in the neonatal unit, particularly after a difficult or emergency birth. It’s natural to want to put your baby first but you must be good to yourself, too.’
She watched as the woman put a half-smile on her tired face then left the washroom to head back to the ward, hopefully secure in the knowledge that she could ask anything she needed to know without any judgement from the medical staff. Ultimately, she would be her baby’s only constant in the multiple care-giving system of neonatal intensive care and she needed to feel confident in that role.
Jade had already been given her patient roster at handover. It wasn’t a busy time in the nursery and she only had two infants to monitor. Checking the first infant’s chart, she noted that Costa was due for a gavage feed. She crossed slowly to another nurse already on duty. As she drew closer, she noticed she was quite young. She had a friendly face with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Her hair was a mass of copper curls kept out of her eyes with a pearly clasp on the top of her head. She wasn’t particularly tall, perhaps two or three inches shorter than Jade, and this added to her overall young appearance. She imagined that Amber might look similar when she was older.
‘Hi, I’m Jade.’
‘I’m Mandy. You’re from the agency too, then?’
‘Yes, first shift and staying for about three weeks, part time, though.’
‘Welcome on board.’ Then, distracted by something or someone in the glass-walled
