I had. But I’ve just had a call from the agency and the nanny got rushed into hospital a couple of hours ago with acute appendicitis. She’s probably on an operating table as we speak...and they have no one else available until after New Year.’
‘Oh...no...’ Miriam’s despairing tone was an exact echo of the one he’d used on receiving that news. ‘I wish I could offer to help but I’ve got family coming from all over the country this year. Christmas dinner for fourteen people and I’ve only got one day off to do the rest of the grocery shopping. It’s going to be a bit of a nightmare.’ But the older woman’s smile suggested that she was rather looking forward to the chaos.
‘I do have an idea, though,’ she added a moment later.
Max was open to any ideas because he had none of his own. He could even feel an edge of panic hovering—as if he was about to go into a skid that he wouldn’t be able to control—like the unfortunate one that had killed his ex-sister-in-law a few weeks ago. Who was going to get injured by this one? Himself or his father? His nieces or nephew? He was about to become the father figure to children who had suffered unimaginable loss of both their parents and their home. Their whole world. Was he about to stumble at the first hurdle of this new journey? No...he couldn’t allow that to happen.
‘What’s your idea?’ he asked.
‘There’s an agency we’ve used before. London Locums. They’re a specialist medical recruitment agency and they might be worth a try even with such short notice and at such a difficult time of the year. I could ring them if you like?’
‘But I need a nanny, not a locum doctor.’
Miriam’s smile was gentle. ‘Don’t you think it would be better for those poor children to have family looking after them instead of strangers? Why not get a locum to cover you? That way, you could be with the children to help them settle in. They must be so scared by all the changes happening around them.’
Max swallowed hard. He was a bit scared himself, to be honest. It wasn’t that he didn’t like children. He had enjoyed being an uncle and welcoming his brother’s first two children into the world and he got on very well with the small people who came through the doors of his emergency department. He just hadn’t ever planned to have any of his own.
Ever.
The disintegration of his own happiness when he was a child, after losing his mother—the sun of their family universe—had left an indelible stain. He had watched his father grapple with a sadness that meant he had no resources to provide for the emotional needs of two young boys and it had been Max who had tried to help his younger brother. That the sadness had morphed into a lasting depression that his father would never admit to or seek help for had cemented the deeply absorbed knowledge that the fallout of a family breaking apart for whatever reason was simply not worth the risk.
Max Cunningham had finally discovered the delicious balance of his passion for working hard and as brilliantly as possible with playing just as hard outside of work hours and that time almost always included a beautiful woman as a playmate. Max was confident that he had honed his skills in making a woman feel very, very special but only for a limited amount of time, of course. He wasn’t ever going to get caught in the trap of having his happiness depend on a family, only to have his world destroyed. If his own childhood memories hadn’t been enough, his brother’s death last year had more than reinforced his belief that the risk was far too great. He hadn’t ever intended to be responsible for the happiness of others either, by trying to create and protect the safety of a family unit or to patch up the fragments of a world that had been irreparably broken.
But, here he was, about to attempt exactly that and the responsibilities about to land on his doorstep were more than daunting. Who knew how traumatised these children already were? The girls might be too young to remember losing their father last year but little Ben was six and maybe he was already trying to wear the mantle of the oldest child and look after his siblings and Max knew how hard that could be. And Miriam was right. The children had been in the care of total strangers since they’d lost their mother and that wasn’t acceptable. Max might think his world was being upended but for his nephew and nieces the only world they knew had just vanished for ever.
‘And it’s Christmas,’ Miriam added softly, as she got to her feet—as if that settled the matter. ‘They’re family. And they need you.’
‘Emma?’
‘Hi, Julie.’ Emma Moretti paused beneath the bare branches of trees in London’s Hyde Park as she answered her phone, watching a squirrel race up the trunk of the nearest tree. ‘I hope you’ve got some good news for me?’
Julie was the manager of London Locums, the specialist medical recruitment agency that Emma had been employed by for the last few years.
‘You’re not going to believe it. After telling you there was absolutely nothing on the books for the Christmas period, I just got a call from someone at the Royal in Cheltenham. They’re desperate for someone to take over from their emergency department HOD. Seems he’s got some family crisis happening until some time in early January.’
‘ED? My favourite.’ Emma’s outward breath was almost a sigh of relief. She was desperate to get out of London for a few days. At least until Christmas was over. There were too many memories here and it felt harder this year, for some reason. Maybe she hadn’t got past things as well as she thought she had. Or maybe it was because, at thirty-six, her last birthday had reminded her that the window of opportunity for having the family she’d always dreamt of was beginning to close. Worse, she still wasn’t sure she was ready to do something proactive about that. Even after nearly five years, she hadn’t ever given serious thought to changing her single status.
‘Are you sure, Em? I don’t think the Royal really expects us to be able to provide someone at such short notice and you know how crazy emergency departments can get over Christmas. People drink far too much and there’s all those weird accidents you hear about, like people falling off the roof because they’re trying to change the bulb on Rudolph’s nose or something. You could just go on holiday if you wanted to escape. Somewhere nice and warm like the Maldives. Or Australia? Goodness knows you’ve earned a break and they’re talking snow here. Possibly a white Christmas for once.’
Going on holiday alone would be the worst thing to do. It would give her far too much time to think. To remember things that were better left in the past.
‘You know me,’ she reminded Julie. ‘I kind of like crazy.’
‘What about Italy, then?’ Julie was a good friend as well as her employer. ‘When did you last have Christmas with your family?’
A long time ago. But not quite long enough, it would seem, because she still wasn’t ready for a full-on Italian-style family gathering. Or perhaps it had just become a habit because locums were always in such demand over holiday periods.
‘Are you kidding?’ Emma tried to keep her tone light. ‘My cousin has just had twins. My mother will be crying in the corner because her only child is thirty-six and still single and maybe she’ll never get any grandchildren of her own. They’ll probably drag in every eligible male in the village and try and arrange a marriage on the spot. You have no idea the kind of pressure that will entail.’ She managed a laugh. ‘Give me medical chaos any time. Please, I need to be in Cheltenham. My family won’t mind. They know I always work over Christmas.’
‘Well...if
