and the outlines of his face were so firmly etched in her brain that she could paint his likeness with her eyes closed. Was that what she should do? Would painting his image expel him from her psyche and heal those old wounds?
No, she decided, for then he would be forever staring at her...unless she just put the painting away in a cupboard somewhere. But what would be the point of that?
Determinedly pushing Andy to the back of her mind, she picked up her phone and dialed Matt.
“We need to talk,” he repeated when he picked up. His voice sounded distant and serious. “Meet me tonight, at Applejacks. I’ll pick you up, if you like.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll see you there about seven. Is everything all right, Matt?”
For a moment she thought he’d hung up, but then his deep voice cut through the silence. “You tell me. I’ll see you later.”
* * *
THE SUN WAS still shining when Ellie set off to walk to Applejacks, and as she strode purposefully along the sidewalk she couldn’t help thinking about the first time she met Matt there. It felt now as if they were two different people, and it hadn’t even been all that long ago. Perhaps they should have just gone for a walk down by the river instead, stayed out in the evening sun. It seemed a shame to miss it. Then again, Matt didn’t really do walks.
She saw him right away, sitting in a secluded corner and staring into his lager. He glanced around and caught her gaze, then stood up to greet her. He was so handsome and striking, she thought, with his sleek dark hair, designer clothes and clear, silvery gray eyes. So why wasn’t her heart racing as it used to?
“Did you sort out your deal?” she asked, sitting down.
He shrugged, handing her a glass of white wine. “Almost. Have a good time in the country?”
Her eyes lit up. “It was great to see my dad. We actually talked for the first time in years. I’m going back soon, to stay for a few days this time. He keeps the yard spotless, but the house is a mess. How’ve you been, anyway?”
“So-so...”
“You said you wanted to talk.” She took a sip of her wine before twirling the glass by its stem, watching the clear liquid swirl around and around.
Matt reached out to still her fingers, covering her hand with his.
“We’re both grown adults, Ellie, and we need to talk because as far as I can see, we’re going nowhere.”
She looked up at him, meeting disappointment in his eyes.
“Do you love me, Matt?” she asked on impulse.
His hand dropped away.
“Do you love me is perhaps more to the point.”
“I thought I did...”
“Until when, Ellie? What changed?”
She sighed heavily. “I don’t know. It’s just—”
“That we both seem to want different things,” he finished for her.
“And what do you want of me?” she asked.
His voice was full of passion. “I want you to be the same person I thought I met,” he said. “The person I got engaged to.”
“But I am that same person.”
“No, you’re not. You were fun loving and up for anything when I met you.” He drained his glass. “Now all you seem to want to do is paint...and go off for days in the country to get new material. When is the last time we went to a club, for instance? We used to go out all the time. And now you’re talking about going back home to sort your dad’s farm out. You never bothered before, so why now?”
“Maybe I’ve just grown up, Matt. Maybe I’ve realized there’s more to life than clubbing.”
He reached forward, taking hold of her chin with his thumb and forefinger. His touch was gentle. “The answer to your question is yes. I suppose I’ll always love you, Ellie, in a way, but it’s not enough anymore. We’re not on the same page.”
“And I still really care about you, but I feel that way, too,” she admitted.
He smiled, and Ellie thought she saw relief in his expression.
“Then I think we should have a break for a while, a total break, so that we can both decide where we are. You can go and do your country thing and I’ll meet up with some of my old friends again...catch up on what I’ve been missing.”
In a sudden flutter of panic, Ellie reached out to take hold of his hand, clutching it tightly in both of hers.
“Are you trying to tell me that we’re over?”
“I suppose I am... Is that a problem?”
Ellie shook her head slowly, staring at the man she had once intended to spend the rest of her life with. The panic faded and she withdrew her hands. “You may as well have this back then,” she said quietly, sliding off her diamond ring.
“No!” His objection was immediate, from the heart. “I never said I wanted the ring back.”
“What do you want then, Matt?”
“I told you... A proper break.”
“We’re over, Matt. I think we both know that.”
Taking the ring, he pressed it against her palm, closing his fingers around her hand.
“Don’t wear it, then. Just keep it for a while, say a couple of weeks or so. And then we’ll meet up again. If you’ve got this country thing out of your system...”
“Country thing!” Her voice was cold, her hands shaking. “I was born in the country, Matt.”
“Yes, and you hated it. That’s why you moved to the city.”
“No, I never hated the country. I just couldn’t stand the memories it held for me.”
“Exactly,” he declared. “And now you’ve changed. I loved the crazy girl I met, you see, but it feels as if she’s gone.”
“I’m still me, Matt. Aren’t you supposed to love me for myself?”
“And I’m still me. I’ve never made a secret of who I am.”
“So you’re saying that I have?”
Matt’s jaw tightened. “No,” he responded. “Of course not—well, not intentionally, anyway.”
Ellie stood up, reaching for her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.
“I guess it’s goodbye, then.”
An acute sense of loss dragged through her chest as she kissed him on the cheek. He grabbed her arm, pulling her down to press
