Chapter Four
From the journal of Dr. Kym Roberts
Case 63047 Evidence Tag 63047-2
Subject Nineteen has been fascinated with death since the patient was thirteen. The subject has not killed squirrels or other small animals. Far from it. The curiosity has led the subject to research what happens at the time of death.
As with many of the subjects in this study, Nineteen is a near perfectionist, becoming more debilitated at every juncture. The patient is so obsessed with the “perfect death,” they can’t move forward. In some ways this will keep them from the implementation of this fantasy.
The subject is fascinated and refers to “the perfect death” as if something supernatural will occur when it’s found. Subject Nineteen stated that begging from the murder victim for their life would not be a necessary part of the “perfect death.” Subject Nineteen stated the actual killing would need to be swift and not detract from the scientific approach. The Subject also stated that the death would need to be respectful so dignity is always involved. The planning, the hunt, the capture are all unnecessary details to the perfect kill in their opinion.
Subject Nineteen has described the moment of death to be like a symphony. Each phase building upon itself until there is a crescendo...a wonderful moment of songful bliss. But for the most part, Subject Nineteen can’t get past the rehearsal stage. Taking this metaphor one more step, they would not only need the orchestra to perform perfectly, the surroundings would also need to be perfected at the same time.
Only the limits of their perfectionism hold them in check. Wavering from the idea of flawless keeps them from attempting murder. So in Subject Nineteen’s case, we hope the obsessive compulsion disorder and need for perfection will prevent the attempt.
Leaving no room for error, the obsessive compulsive need that Subject Nineteen maintains will lead to disappointment and a further downward spiral. This very well may be the source of the night terrors.
Treating one disorder will not resolve the other and possibly will make each worse. And although Subject Nineteen hides it well, the attachment disorder is deeply seated and may be the basis of all the other disorders.
Time is not on our side since eventually, the patient will determine the flaws and overcome. Therefore, Subject Nineteen is a danger to society and should be committed to a facility for a strict psychiatric evaluation and treatment.
EVIDENCE NOTATION
Other
