that perfectly clear last night and I am even clearer on it today. We can never go back to what we had or what I thought we might have. I have done a lot of thinking.’
He paled at her words. ‘Hear me out, Sophie. We are married. Lawfully man and wife. I never wanted it to be like this. I intended to protect you and keep you safe. I thought I could fight your battles for you.’
‘I know our legal status to my cost. Robert has already pointed this obstacle out, but things can be done.’
He flinched as if she had struck him with her hand.
‘All I ask is this one thing and I will let you go if that is what you want.’ He bowed his head. ‘I will even help with the annulment, false pretences or whatever is the most expedient. I will play the villain, if the law requires, but first I require this one thing of you.’
Sophie’s insides trembled. Richard was not going to try to hold her to the marriage. He was going to let her go. He probably wanted her assurance that she wouldn’t sell her story to the papers or some such nonsense.
She wanted to break down in fresh tears again, but she had cried herself to a standstill already. It was worse, somehow, seeing him again and knowing that his arms had given her comfort before. She’d never again be able to lay her head on his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat. And, despite everything, she loved him and cared about him.
‘What is this one thing?’ she asked between numb lips.
‘I want you to listen to my story and then I want your advice on how to proceed.’
‘My advice?’ Sophie hated the way her heart leapt. ‘You have never wanted it before. You kept things from me, rather than asking me.’
‘I am asking now.’ His voice became ragged. ‘Please. You are my last hope, Sophie. No, that’s not right. You are my only hope.’
Sophie sank down on the sofa. ‘I will listen.’
‘My mother left Hannah and I in the woods when I was no more than seven and Hannah was a toddler, barely able to walk on her own.’ Richard’s voice held little emotion. ‘We were supposed to be on a picnic. The first picnic of the summer, just my mother and her two children. Three of us left Hallington that day, only two returned. My mother ran away with Hannah’s father.’
Sophie stuffed her hand into her mouth. It was far worse than she had imagined. How could any woman leave her children alone and defenceless in a wood? ‘How did you get back? Did your father find you? How long were you there?’
‘Once I realised no one was coming, I carried Hannah all the way home as my mother had taken the governess’s cart. Someone had to take responsibility.’
There was a wealth of information in the stark sentences. Sophie could easily imagine the frightened boy left alone with a crying toddler, far from home, expecting help and having none come. Despite his reputation for scandal, Richard always tried to protect those who were weaker than him. It was why that woman Mary’s death had affected him so badly.
She wanted to gather him in her arms and tell him what he’d done that day was a brave and wonderful thing. But she hardened her heart and stayed still. He should never have treated her in the manner he did.
‘How … how could she do such a thing?’ she asked instead.
‘Hannah’s father was my mother’s lover before she married my father. He abandoned her for Australia and she married my father in haste. My father adored the ground my mother walked on. She found him old and fusty. She spent money doing up Hallington like it was water and gave extravagant parties while my father became ever more absorbed in his pig-breeding. Eventually Grayson returned and the affair started again. My sister was born nine months after he returned.’
‘Hannah is your mother’s love child?’ Sophie closed her eyes.
‘My father acknowledged Hannah as his own and then, when she was two … this happened.’
Sophie remembered the tears in Lord Hallington’s eyes when he said that he’d always wanted a daughter. ‘You had better tell me everything so I can understand. If I don’t understand, I don’t see how I can give proper advice.’
She listened carefully as Richard explained about the divorce and his father’s conditions. How his mother had chosen Hannah and her lover had formally adopted her. How he’d learnt not to depend on his father appearing at any function and that he’d had to fight his own battles. Finally Richard spoke about how he always made sure that he was never hurt like that again and how if any of his mistresses wanted to leave, he let them go. He ended things before he became involved. How he never offered twice.
Sophie pressed her lips together and knew he’d broken his rules for her. More than once. Her heart fluttered, but she simply nodded her head and waited for him to finish.
‘I thought I would keep my heart safe, but when you left last night, I learnt that simply denying feelings doesn’t stop them from happening. When you walked out, you took my heart with you. You didn’t mean to.’
‘What do you want from me? Your heart back?’ Sophie clenched her hands and knew she had made a decision. Every woman Richard had known had abandoned him. She had done exactly the same thing when she didn’t know about his past. But now she did and she knew he was worth fighting for. ‘How can I give your heart back when I didn’t know I had it?’
‘It belongs to you now. It has belonged to you for longer than I dare admit.’ Richard bowed his head and his shoulders slumped. ‘What I wanted from you was for you to listen and you have. I will go now. I wanted you to know that I am here for you if you ever need me. And I have decided that there is no longer any purpose in trying to keep my parents happy.’
Sophie knew she had this one chance to make their marriage into the sort of marriage she wanted, rather than one that others might want for her.
‘I am coming with you. I need you to need me and I think you need me by your side and in your life.’
His eyes opened wide and his mouth dropped open. ‘What?’
‘After you leave here, you are going to see your father and tell him the truth about why you were in Newcastle to begin with and what you wanted to accomplish. Then you are going to see your mother with your father and get him to give her a promise that he won’t ruin Hannah out of spite. She believes his promises because he is like you. He always tries to keep his promises.’ Sophie’s heart thudded. She had to get this right. ‘And if I am there, it will make life easier for everyone, particularly you. You shouldn’t go into battle without your heart.’
He gave a shadow of his old heart-melting smile. ‘Precisely, but why are you willing to do this?’
Sophie held out her hand. ‘You could do this on your own, Richard, but it is easier if you have someone who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you. Your parents are difficult people. Your father will bluster and thunder. Your mother may fly into hysterics. They both need to see that you are not on your own any more. They both failed you when you were a boy. You never failed them. You don’t have to put things right for them, but if you want to, I will be there at your side.’
‘Sophie!’
‘Your mother in particular needs to see that we stand together. That no one can drive a wedge between us. She needs
