climbed onto the bed and curled a finger with a sly grin on her face. “Get over here, Chambers.”
Her spark was enough to make him do hundreds of things he’d told himself he wouldn’t do. He stretched out next to her, and his hands roved over her smooth stomach. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her breast, then sucked her nipple softly. Ashley arched her back and practically purred. “That feels so good,” she muttered, as if that “so” had fifty o’s. He flicked his tongue while he inched his hand to the waistband of those tiny panties and began tugging them past her hips.
Ashley lifted her bottom off the bed. “Touch me, Marcus. Please. I’m dying.” She squirmed beneath his touch as he slipped his fingers between her legs and found her warm apex. “Yes. There.”
She rolled toward him and kissed him recklessly as he caressed that tight bundle of nerves. He sensed the tension in her body quickly, punctuated by short, raspy breaths. He’d forgotten what it was like to have a woman at his mercy, to be able to give her pleasure that made it feel as though he was invincible. “Is that what you like, Ash? Is that how you like it?”
“Yes,” she nearly growled. “And talk to me, Marcus. I like a man who talks to me in bed.”
It was not a request. It was a demand, and it made him that much more determined to make her come like she never had before. He lightened his touch—teasing, toying. “I’ll talk as long as you play along.”
“Is everything a negotiation with you?” She shifted, resting her upper thigh between his legs, creating sublime friction between them. “Because I’d be willing to concede a lot right now.”
Her quick wit only turned him on more. He had to focus on her pleasure or he’d go sailing off the cliff in no time. “No bargaining. Just tell me what you want.”
“Circles. With your hand. And don’t be gentle.”
Her words made everything in his body tighten, and he obliged her, upping the pressure, moving in steady rotations with his fingers.
She tilted her head back, pulling away from his kiss while pressing her pelvis hard into his hand. “Yes. Just like that,” she gasped. Every breath she took ended in a whimper, growing louder, stronger, more insistent. Then she arched her back and froze, calling out, grabbing his hand and insistently stilling it against her body.
As soon as she caught her breath, she sought his lips, kissing him deeply. She pushed him to his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. It was a good thing he still had his boxers on. This much touching was too much to take. “Tell me you have a condom,” she said.
“You don’t?”
“I don’t. I was taking a break from men, remember? I told you that on our first date.”
“I assumed that was a metaphorical break. Not a real one.”
She shook her head and kissed him again. “Oh, trust me. It was a real break. I haven’t been with another man in months. So please tell me you have a condom or else one of us is going to have to run to the drug store on the corner and buy some.”
“No. I have some...” His voice trailed off. He had indeed purchased a box after they arrived in New York, after Joanna had given him the speech about taking chances and opening his heart. “It’s just that they’re across the hall.” Across the hall. Just like his entire life was across the hall. His conscience told him that’s where he belonged at that moment, not having sex with a woman he knew wasn’t the one.
Stop it. He forced himself to take a deep breath. He had to collect his thoughts. He had a gorgeous woman in his arms, one he’d wanted for months. A deeply passionate woman who was making him feel like the man he used to be. Except the man he used to be had made a lot of mistakes. That man had gone through five years with blinders on, ignoring what was wrong in his failing marriage and forging ahead, pushing, trying to will what he wanted into being.
Was he doing that again? Convincing himself that making love to Ashley would be okay simply because he wanted to? That was such a selfish attitude, it nearly made him sick. He’d sworn he’d never be like that again.
“I can’t do this,” he said, disbelieving the words as they came from his mouth. He wanted her so badly he could taste it, taste her, as sweetness on his lips. An unforgettable sweetness. And then there was the tide that had engulfed the lower half of his body. How would he just ignore that? It didn’t matter. He had to.
Ashley looked down at him with those eyes—sincere and genuine. “I don’t understand.”
“We both know where this is going, and I can’t do that. I can’t have a casual affair. Not as a dad. Not with Lila in my life. This is about much more than me.”
“I wasn’t aware we were having an affair.” She rolled off him and grabbed the covers, clutching them to her chest.
He shook his head. “I can’t just sleep with you one time. What kind of man would that make me?”
“Who said anything about just sleeping together one time? Why can’t we take it slow? Four hours ago I was pretty sure you still hated me. At least give me a chance to catch up. You aren’t the only one coming off a bad breakup.”
Everything she’d just said was precisely why this wouldn’t work. She didn’t get it. “I wouldn’t characterize my failed marriage as a bad breakup.” It had been far worse than that. His failed marriage had nearly destroyed him and it remained to be seen what lasting effects it would have on Lila. He grabbed his trousers from the floor and put them on in a hurry, trying to ignore his physical agony. “There is no slow for me, Ashley. There’s more at stake here than a tryst. You’re a smart, beautiful, successful woman, and somewhere out there is the perfect man for you. I’m just not him.” He pushed his arms through his sleeves, only bothering with a few of the buttons on his shirt.
“But we’re still getting to know each other. I like you, in spite of the way you act sometimes. And I think you like me, but you’re making a lot of assumptions about what’s a good idea and what you think I want.”
“I didn’t pull these ideas out of thin air. You told me during our first date that your last boyfriend left because you were unwilling to get married and become a mom. I realize that’s serious stuff to talk about in the early days, but that’s the reality of my situation. There’s no getting around it.”
“You didn’t even let me tell you the whole story that night. I would get married if it was the right situation, but let’s not forget that you’ve spent much of the last several months acting as though you don’t even like me.”
Marcus knew his behavior hadn’t been the best, but he’d never done anything that wasn’t completely justified. “And it’s clear that the situation between us isn’t right. We’re attracted to each other, but we’re otherwise opposites. I’m serious. You’re not.”
“Serious? My whole life has been about serious.”
“Really? A television show about matchmaking, intermingled with shopping for apartment furniture and dismissing the horrible behavior of your contractor? We have very different ideas of what serious means.” Even in the dim light of the room, it was clear how badly his words had hurt her. He didn’t like hurting a woman, but maybe it was for the best. It would make it easier to stay away from her.
Wrapping
