learned long ago that she could not sit for endless hours sewing or embroidering or reading aloud from prayer books or other such womanly arts. Oh, she had the abilities and skills to do such work, but not the patience for it. She would rather be riding or walking or debating with her father or playing chess against her mother. As she watched the Murrays leaving, she wondered if she would change once she was under their roof or if they would make allowances for her Highland upbringing.
The families ate a mid-day meal together, light fare since the cooks were preparing the roasts and stews and fish and sweets that would feed them all after the wedding and they had not the time nor the hands needed to cook a full meal for mid-day as well. She sat next to James, who grew quiet as a few bawdy toasts were made. There would be more, many more and much bawdier, during the feast, but that was expected.
She looked up at the corner tower where their bedchamber was. Her mother and James’s mother had prepared it for their use and the bed was now covered in clean linens. Her mother’s wink told her other pleasant surprises awaited them there.
Soon, their tasks complete, she walked with her mother and Elizabeth back to the village.
‘Will you stay with me this night, Elizabeth?’ she asked as they reached the split in the path. ‘I would love your company on my last night before my marriage.’
‘As long as you do not stay up all night chattering away and get no sleep,’ her mother warned.
‘I … I cannot,’ Elizabeth murmured, looking away. ‘I am needed at home.’ Her voice shook, filled with some unnamed emotion. ‘Forgive me, Ciara,’ she whispered.
Ciara hugged her and shook her head. ‘There is nothing to forgive. We will have much time together when we live in Perthshire, Elizabeth. No worrying over this one night.’
Elizabeth stepped back and nodded. She left without another word to either of them.
‘Weddings and funerals bring out the best and worst in people, Ciara. Emotions run high for so many reasons.’
All throughout the day she had hoped. She had hoped he’d spoken to Gunna. She had hoped he would overcome his fears. She had hoped that he would … None of it mattered, for the night finally arrived and he did not.
Her trunks were packed, her clothing folded neatly within them, ready for the trip to begin her married life with James. Though she wanted to give in to some need within her soft heart and bring the newly carved heart along with her, she feared she was holding on to the past too firmly and let it remain in its place there.
In spite of knowing that it would offer some measure of comfort for the days ahead, she told herself repeatedly in that moment that she must leave it behind. Tavis had been her first friend and she would never forget him, but ’twas time to relegate him to her past. Anger surged past the pain in her veins and made her want to pound her fists and stamp her feet over the fact that he could, and had, let her go … again.
No matter that, she took a breath and walked away from the shelf that held so many memories. She had to put aside her hopes for something more between them now, for to do otherwise would guarantee not contentedness, but bitterness in her marriage. She wondered through the day and into the evening if a day would pass in which she did not think of him. Each time such a thought arose, she convinced herself that a time would indeed come.
Her mother and sister joined her in her bed for a while, probably sensing her nervousness, and they talked into the night. She missed Elizabeth’s presence, but Ciara sensed that something was wrong and would speak to her in the morning to settle it. Thinking back on the last several days, she tried to remember if she’d said or done anything that was hurtful to her friend and could think of nothing. Well, mayhap her mother had the right of it—weddings brought out all kinds of emotions.
When her mother handed her a cup of steaming tea, she knew there was something in it to help her sleep. She sipped it slowly and allowed her mother to tuck her under the covers for the last time.
Whether the potion’s effect or her heart’s, her sleep was filled with the most wondrous dreams of the life ahead of her. The wedding, the feast, the first night together and even dreams of her first child. Tears and joy in every scene as they spun out through the whole night.
When Ciara woke in the morning and recognised the day, she realised that every single one of her dreams had the wrong husband in them. She’d dreamt the night away married to Tavis, while James would be the one awaiting her as she walked down the church’s aisle.
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