no!
She would tell no one the truth.
AS THE TRAIN pulled into Stazione Roma Termini, the main train station in Rome, Aurora felt none of the excitement as she had the last time she’d arrived here.
Then she had been with colleagues, looking forward to training at a luxury Rome hotel. Then she had felt as if her career was on course.
Then she had been looking forward to seeing Nico.
Now…
Aurora did not know.
Yet she had chosen to come to Rome.
Was it in the hope of seeing him?
No, for she dreaded that.
Or had she come with the intention of telling Nico that he was to be a father?
No.
One day she would tell him, but she dreaded that too.
It was more that her world felt safer when Nico was near.
She had arranged accommodation at a very basic hostel, but she would be spending only her nights there. Every day was to be devoted to trying to find work.
But it seemed most restaurants weren’t hiring. At least not a visibly pregnant waitress.
And it was the same for cleaning work too.
Every day, on her way to interviews, Aurora passed Nico’s grand hotel. And every day, after yet another slew of rejections, she grew more and more tempted simply to land unannounced at his door and demand to see him. To hand over the problem to Nico to deal with.
It was his baby after all.
Yet she could not bear the thought of his disappointment, or the way he would reluctantly carry out his duty.
She would find accommodation and work and she would be in a better position when she told him the truth.
Her family’s reaction had hurt Aurora deeply, and if the people who loved her could cast her aside it left her with little hope for Nico’s reaction to the news.
But then hope arrived, in the shape of a family of two young children, a stressed mother, and a father who travelled extensively for work. They lived in the Prati district, which was close to Parioli, where Nico resided.
‘I need someone for nanny duties and some light cleaning,’ Louanna explained. ‘Our last nanny left us with no notice…’
‘I won’t let you down.’
It was a gorgeous old house, and Aurora had her own summerhouse at the bottom of the garden. Louanna was kind, and told her she had all the essentials Aurora’s baby would need.
But then she added, ‘You will have three little ones to care for…’
Aurora knew she would care for ten if it meant she had a home and could provide for her baby. For the first time since she had found out she was pregnant, she felt in control.
But then Louanna’s husband returned, and the whole mood in the house changed.
‘A pregnant nanny?’ he said rudely to his wife. ‘What the hell…?’
‘Shh…’ said Louanna as she closed the study door on them. ‘Aurora is wonderful and she’s a great help to me with Nadia and Antonio.’
As Christmas approached, and Rome grew cold and wet, being in the house was like living in tornado season, Aurora mused. She was watching the news at the moment, holed up in the little summerhouse at the bottom of the beautiful garden, but she kept casting anxious glances towards the house.
Soon the husband would travel again, and peace would prevail, but it was like watching dark clouds gather whenever he came home.
Aurora thought perhaps she had heartburn. Certainly the doctor had suggested that she did, but the burning high in her stomach seemed to coincide with the husband’s arrival home and amplified when she saw bruises on Louanna’s fragile arms.
‘What happened?’ Aurora asked.
‘I bumped into the door.’
‘And the door was shaped like fingers?’ Aurora checked, in her usual forthright fashion. ‘Louanna, you have to leave him.’
‘Where will I go?’ Louanna begged. ‘Where will you go, Aurora? Your baby is due in two weeks.’
‘Don’t stay for me,’ Aurora said.
Yet her heart was twisting in fear at the thought of being out on the streets so close to her due date.
‘He is a good man…’ Louanna was defensive. ‘He just has a lot of stress at work.’
Nico had a lot of stress at work, Aurora thought, and he would never have carried on like that. She had never hidden her smile or her sass from him.
Call Nico, her mind said.
But then she caught sight of her reflection, her ripe body and troubled eyes, and she knew she did not want to land on him like this.
Not like this.
But soon the tornado had left again, and with the husband away on business the last few days of her pregnancy were among the nicest she had known.
She went to church with Louanna and the children, to watch the nativity play that Nadia was in, and it brought tears to Aurora’s eyes. Louanna took the kindest care of her, and Aurora felt so spoiled when she woke to breakfast in bed one morning.
But the storm clouds were gathering again, for tomorrow Louanna’s husband would be home.
That night Louanna made the supper. The children were sweet, and seemed to understand that Aurora was tired, and asked over and over again about her baby.
‘I hope it’s a girl,’ Nadia said as Aurora lay on the sofa, scrolling through baby names on Louanna’s laptop.
‘I hope it’s a boy,’ said Antonio.
‘What do you want, Aurora?’ Louanna asked.
‘I want this baby out of me,’ she admitted. ‘I’ll take what comes, but I am ready for my baby to be born.’
‘Have you chosen a name yet?’
‘No,’ Aurora admitted. ‘I still have no clue. Maybe Nico…’ She wasn’t going to call her baby that, but it was such a relief to say his name out loud. ‘Nicole, if it’s a girl, but I love the name Nico.’
Nico.
