for him hadn’t changed. She’d told him more than once she loved him until one day, unable to tolerate it any longer, he’d thrown it back at her before walking out on his new marriage. He’d done it to save her pain, to save her heartache, but instead he’d created more. Now was a time to be honest, to tell her he did want to be in his child’s life, in her life, but he knew that he couldn’t allow himself to love her, not in the way she wanted. He owed it to her, to his child, to be honest.
‘And that’s all?’ The hope in those whispered words tugged at his conscience like a gale-force wind rushing in off stormy seas, but he couldn’t yield to it, couldn’t let it affect him. Not when his childhood had taught him that those he loved always left him, making him lock his heart away. He didn’t deserve the happy ever after Lisa craved so much.
‘We had a good marriage, Lisa. We had passion—lots of it.’ He lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers; the soft sigh of desire she made only heightened his own, his need for her. ‘I warned you I didn’t go in for love and romance. You knew that before we married.’
‘I just thought...’ she said softly, the words dying on her lips as her eyes met his.
More than anything he wanted to kiss her again, to claim her as his once more, to show her that even while he couldn’t say words of love to her he desired her, wanted her in the most primal way a man could want a woman.
He shook his head. ‘Don’t overthink things, Lisa. We married because we couldn’t get enough of one another and now we will remain married because of our child. A child created with desire and passion so strong that neither of us could deny it then—or now.’
* * *
Lisa’s heart thumped so hard in her chest that she was sure it was echoing around the cosy cottage he’d presented her as a Christmas gift. Did he know that he was playing to her childhood insecurities by doing that? Did he know that in this house was all she’d ever wanted? Even the handsome man to live happily ever after with?
‘So this is all because I am carrying your child?’ The words sprang from her before she had time to think, time to work out this bizarre situation. The passion in the air around them evaporated and she was glad of that. Just now, kissing him under the mistletoe had been a mistake, one that had very nearly made her forget everything.
‘In part, yes, but also to show I can be in your life—in our child’s life.’ He touched her face again, sparking up the intense heat of passion. She wouldn’t be able to resist him, she knew that without any doubt, and before she ended up exactly where she’d vowed never to be again—in his bed—she wanted to clear things between them.
‘Is that to show you or me?’ A spark of defiance raced through her.
He frowned slightly, but the darkness of his eyes remained full of desire. ‘I deserve that.’
The moment of honesty almost fooled her, but she had her own honest moment to deal with first. ‘I never knew about your brother, the headlines. I wouldn’t have added to it all on the same day if I had.’
He sighed. ‘I just couldn’t think straight. So much was happening, so fast.’
A wave of sympathy curled through her. He’d had more than most men to deal with in recent weeks and she knew better than most what the past could do, how it could haunt you, colour your views and follow you through your life.
‘I have always wanted children, one day, although I am only too aware you don’t feel the same. I could never subject a child to the kind of childhood either of us experienced, but the fact is that I am pregnant and you made me feel that it was all my fault. We both drank too much wine, Max, both allowed ourselves to forget all we’d agreed on about being professional.’
‘More than a little wine.’ He smiled and her relief must have shown on her face. ‘Do you forgive me?’
He pressed his lips lightly on hers, testing her reaction.
‘Give me one good reason why I should,’ she teased, thankful the mood had lightened, the heady passion returning. All it took was one light kiss, one gentle touch, one desire-filled look and she was lost.
‘Because it’s Christmas Eve.’ He said the words between light kisses and she closed her eyes to the sensation of fire on her skin.
‘And?’ Her teasing became bolder.
‘And because I desire you more than any other woman.’ His eyes were darker than ever, the message of promised passion within them unmistakable. And didn’t she desire him too? Want him with a passion she’d never known possible until he’d come into her life?
‘And if I don’t want to be that woman?’ She challenged him, hurt blazing a trail through her as she remembered the time she’d first said words of love to him, fooled by their desire into letting him know that she was emotionally committed to him in a way he’d later made clear he didn’t want.
‘I think that you do.’ He brushed his lips over hers again and just as moments ago a soft sigh escaped her. She didn’t want to respond, didn’t want to convey her compliance with his wishes to him quite so emphatically, but she couldn’t help herself. The bold, teasing woman was gone, the passionate woman who loved him had returned. Whatever it was between them was still there, so didn’t that make staying married for the sake of the baby easier? If passion had once brought them together could it now bind them once more?
‘I’m not so sure,’ she said in a soft provocative whisper and smiled at him. ‘I think you might just have to prove that to me.’
It was just like that night two months ago, the night her baby had been conceived, all over again. One kiss, one caress and she became a melting puddle of need at his feet. She hated herself for wanting him, for wishing it could be more, but surely two parents who got on like this would be better than a family torn apart, living very different lives. Her own childhood had been like that and she didn’t want the same for her baby.
‘I do, do I?’ He laughed softly, a sexy deep sound that didn’t quite mask the words he’d just said to her, words he’d said once before but hadn’t truly meant.
‘Yes, you do.’ She pushed all her misgivings to the back of her mind. They had agreed on being together until New Year’s Eve and maybe that was just enough time to convince him there was more to their marriage—more to them—than passion.
‘In that case...’ He swept her from her feet and headed for the bedroom and the excitement in Lisa’s body intensified. She loved this man, wanted him with a passion, and all she had to do was break through his barriers and make him see that, make him feel it.
She looked around her as he placed her on the large bed covered in a festive throw and on the wall above it a trail of twinkling lights. Parcels done up with bright red ribbons adorned the window sill and beyond the cottage the darkness of the night was sparkled with stars. It was all so perfect, so romantic and she couldn’t help but lose herself in the moment. There might never be another like it, not with this man, the man she’d given her heart unconditionally to the day they’d met, the man who even now still held it—and always would.
She looked at him, deep into his eyes. ‘It’s Christmas Eve, Max. I want to forget everything else, to enjoy the magic that’s here in the cottage. Tonight all I want is you.’
‘How can I resist that?’ The feral tone of his voice left her in no doubt that
