interested in clothes or jewels, as far as he could see. So what did she want?
The women he’d dallied with in the past had been only interested in material possessions, a diamond bangle, a funded shopping spree in a designer boutique, but he knew Allegra was different. ‘And of course you can make the house your own. Decorate it as you wish. Garden...’ What else might she want to do? ‘Music,’ Rafael said at last. ‘You can have your own music room. Play as much as you want. Host concerts, even.’ He was practically babbling, and was irritated with himself for being so pathetically eager. She regarded him quietly, saying nothing, offering no encouragement.
‘Why don’t you tell me what you want?’ Rafael bit out. ‘Instead of looking disappointed because I can’t read your mind?’
She flinched at his tone and he silently cursed himself. What did she want from him? He could give her everything. Everything but love. Rafael stiffened, appalled at the thought. Was that what Allegra was holding out for? Some ridiculous, romantic fairy-tale? Surely not.
‘I don’t know what I want, Rafael,’ Allegra said quietly. ‘This is all so unexpected. I haven’t had time to process any of it properly. I’m still reeling from the news about the amnio results.’ She let out a weary sigh. ‘I know you don’t want to, but please give me a little time to catch up.’
‘Fine.’ He bit the word out, still tense. ‘But I do need to return to Palermo as soon as possible.’
‘Then maybe you should return and I’ll come later,’ Allegra countered. ‘Why must we rush things? We could at least get to know one another first...’
‘With me in Palermo and you here? No.’ Rafael shook his head, resolute. She would just find an excuse to stay in New York. The thought, stupidly, hurt. ‘I want you where I can see you, Allegra. Where I can protect you and take care of you and our son.’ His voice thickened, much to his shame. ‘That is important to me.’
Her expression softened as her silvery gaze swept over him. ‘You have far more of a protective streak than I ever realised.’
‘I do. I don’t want to let you or our child down.’
‘And you’re afraid you will?’
‘No.’ He rose from his desk, determined to end this conversation. It had all got stupidly emotional, and he hated that. He didn’t do emotion. It was for the weak. He’d learned that to his eternal cost with his father, when he’d goaded him with his childish complaints. When he hadn’t been able to stop what had happened next. Enough. There was nothing to be gained by thinking of that now. ‘I will never let that happen, Allegra. At least in that, you can trust me.’
* * *
Allegra sat down across from her mother, her expression resigned and set.
‘You’re what?’ Jennifer Wells screeched.
‘I’m going to Sicily,’ Allegra answered. ‘With the father of my child.’
‘But you don’t even know him.’
‘I know he’ll take care of me and our son.’ That was at least one aspect of Rafael’s character that she was sure of. It had been three days since Rafael had issued his ultimatum, and Allegra had spent those days thinking long and hard about her future. Their future. When the further tests with a neonatal cardiologist had revealed the extent of their son’s heart defect, which wasn’t as simple as they’d hoped but still within the realm of good news, her choice felt even more limited.
She couldn’t do this alone. She’d lived most of her life in determined independence, chosen isolation, loneliness, but she couldn’t do this by herself, and she didn’t even want to. But even more importantly she didn’t want Rafael or her son to miss out. She’d been denied her father’s presence in her life from the time she was twelve. Could she wilfully deny her son the chance to know his father, and Rafael the chance to know his son?
It would be the height of selfish cruelty to choose self-preservation over her family. Because it was a matter of self-preservation. Rafael held a power over her, one she didn’t fully understand. She was attracted to him physically, of course, but she’d felt stirrings of something even deeper. When he held her...when he’d felt the baby kick...if she let herself, she could start to care for him, and that would be a disaster. Because there was every chance Rafael would walk away from her as her father had. But he wouldn’t, she prayed, walk away from their son.
And so she’d told Rafael she would go to Sicily, but she wouldn’t marry him—not yet, anyway. They needed to get to know one another before she made actual vows, agreed to that level of commitment. To her surprise, Rafael had acquiesced. Tersely, but still. She’d been half expecting him to frog-march her down the aisle.
Then yesterday she’d gone to her apartment and packed up what she’d wanted to take, which had been surprisingly little. Looking around the tiny space, she wondered at how she had ever thought she could have managed there with a baby. And yet how she was going to manage in this strange new life in Sicily? So much was unknown.
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this, Allegra.’ Jennifer’s voice rang out in censure. ‘This stranger...running away with him? Have you thought this through at all?’
‘Yes, and it makes sense,’ Allegra answered. ‘Considering the alternatives.’ She felt weary right down to her toes, and tomorrow evening they were leaving for Palermo. She’d already handed in her notice for her job, said goodbye to Anton, who had been her friend and boss for nearly ten years. He’d kissed her on both cheeks with tears in his eyes.
‘Is Vitali being...difficult?’ Jennifer asked after a moment. She looked on edge.
‘Pragmatic,’ Allegra said, even as she wondered why she was being loyal to Rafael. Perhaps because, in his own hard way, he was being loyal to her. And whether she liked it or not, they were a family now. ‘As am I.’
‘You remember what I told you about his father?’ Jennifer said, and now she sounded diffident.
‘He did business with my father and it didn’t work out, you said.’ But it was more than that. Blood on his hands. What had happened? How much did it matter? She couldn’t ask Rafael now; things between them were tense enough.
‘Yes, and your father didn’t trust him.’ Jennifer expelled a breath. ‘I don’t know the details, of course, but there has to be a reason for that. I got the sense that there might have been something...’ She paused, pursing her lips. ‘Criminal involved.’
‘Criminal?’ Allegra stared at her, appalled by this new revelation. ‘What do you mean exactly?’
Jennifer shrugged, her gaze siding away. ‘I don’t really know, but soon after they did business Vitali went broke. He lost everything, and narrowly avoided prison. That’s...that’s all I know. Perhaps it’s better buried in the past.’
It was more than Allegra had ever known, and underscored how little she knew Rafael or his history. How little he’d told her. She’d have to ask sometime, and while she didn’t look forward to that conversation, she needed to know what she was getting into. What their child was getting into. She needed to trust Rafael...yet how could she, when she didn’t know him? When she didn’t like to trust anyone?
‘That might be so,’ Allegra told her mother, ‘but Rafael has his own business and I really
