wouldn’t lose his company. The chances of that happening were infinitesimal.
Without warning, a distant memory flashed, one he had forgotten in the mists of time. A woman in a professional, powder blue suit occupied the witness stand, her face hard and cold as she listed Nathaniel’s father’s transgressions, demanding vengeance. Nathaniel, almost eighteen by that time, had been sitting in the back row of the courtroom.
His mother was hospitalized. His father was a broken man, forced to appear before judge and jury and have his life’s work torn to shreds. Nathaniel hadn’t known how to help either of his parents.
A sound from outside the sanctuary of his bedroom jerked him back to the present. He had to go back to the den and face Dani. Squaring his shoulders, he told himself not to overreact. All he had to do was tread carefully. As soon as the snow melted and Ophelia retrieved the baby, life would go back to normal.
When he found his two female houseguests, they were ensconced on the sofa, wrapped in an afghan, Dani was wearing his shirt again. Her eyes were closed, her head resting against the back of the seat. Peaches was awake, noisily downing a bottle of formula. The lights were off. Only the flames from the fire illuminated the room.
Carefully, Nathaniel sat down beside woman and child. He put a hand on Dani’s knee. She was sitting cross-legged with the baby in her lap. “You okay?” he asked softly. “Do you want me to take her?”
Dani opened her eyes and stared at him. He bore her scrutiny stoically. His assistant was a smart woman. She had to know something was wrong. Thankfully, she let it slide. “We’re fine, Nathaniel. Why don’t you go back to bed? You have no idea how long Peaches will be staying with you, and unfortunately, I won’t be around to help much longer. You should get sleep while you can.”
He inhaled sharply. Apparently they weren’t going to discuss his earlier behavior. Instead, Dani let it be known very plainly she was not going to linger in his home waiting for scraps of his attention and affection. There was a quiet dignity about her that shamed him. The open, joyful response he’d seen in her after their intimate encounter was gone.
Moving his hand from her knee, he tried to breathe naturally. The gaping hole in his chest made that difficult. Had he crushed the only person in his life who actually cared about him?
Dani lifted the baby onto her shoulder and patted her back. “How will you go about finding Ophelia?”
“I’ve contacted a private investigator. Needless to say, he’s not eager to leave his family on Christmas. He’s promised to get to work on the case first thing Monday. I’m confident Ophelia’s still in the city. After all, how far could she get? If we’re trapped, so is she.”
“Good point.” Dani stood, holding the baby carefully. Peaches had nodded off. “I think she’ll sleep a few more hours now. We’ll see you in the morning.”
Nathaniel jumped to his feet. “Wait,” he said hoarsely.
Dani turned back, but her posture was defensive, and she held the child as a shield. “What, Nathaniel? What do you want?”
On the surface, it was almost a rhetorical question. As if she knew he didn’t know why he had stopped her. But then again, maybe she was demanding more. Explanations. Assurances. Unfortunately, he had none to give.
“It’s December 25 already,” he said, feeling foolish and desperate. “Merry Christmas, Dani.”
Her smile was wistful, perhaps even sad. “Merry Christmas, Nathaniel.”
After that, he let her go, because it was the right thing to do. He had no right to coax her into lingering so he would have someone to talk to. He liked being alone. He enjoyed his own company. It was only the snow and the holiday and the baby throwing him off balance.
He prowled the condo, unable to contemplate sleep. If he hadn’t been such an ass, Dani might have been in his bed this very moment, her cuddly, warm body pressed against his as they dozed in between bouts of hot, satisfying sex.
What would it take to win a woman like Dani? For one thing, he would have to change virtually everything about himself. Dani would expect open communication and an honest exchange of feelings and emotions. The thought made him shudder. He’d perfected the art of walling himself off from the world. It was too late to change now.
Walking alone was the only way he knew.
* * *
Dani cried herself to sleep. When she awoke four hours later, her head ached and she faced the inescapable conviction she was her own worse enemy. She knew what the boss was like, perhaps better than anyone else in his life. Why on earth had she asked him such a stupid question? Did you ever fantasize about me when we were at the office?
The raw honesty of his answer had revealed the extent of his conflicted emotions. Nathaniel was a man. Men were creatures of the moment. They compartmentalized things in their brains. Work, sex, food, sleep. The only reason she and Nathaniel ended up being intimate was the result of an unlikely set of circumstances.
As she changed a wet diaper and blew raspberries on a soft baby tummy, she fretted. She needed to get out of this condo. The sooner, the better. If she had sex with her boss a second time, she’d never convince herself to leave. Even worse, she might ignore all common sense and be put in the ignominious position of being asked to leave.
That wasn’t going to happen. Ever. She might not be able to eradicate her feelings for the man down the hall, but he didn’t have to know he was breaking her heart into jagged shards that would never properly fit back together.
Moving to the window, she twitched aside the sheers and looked out. The thaw was supposed to begin today, in theory. High of thirty-eight. Peeks of sunshine. So far, the skies were gray. The coating of ice on top of fifteen inches of snow meant the city was still obliterated. Only the most intrepid would venture out on Christmas Day.
When she closed the curtains and turned around, Nathaniel was standing in the doorway of the guest room. He held out a shopping bag with a quizzical smile on his face. “Your new friend, Reggie, the doorman, came through for us. He dropped off all these baby things a few minutes ago. I thanked him.”
“And gave him a big fat Christmas tip, I hope.”
“Of course.”
“Too bad he has to work the holiday.”
Nathaniel nodded. “At least he’s only here until two. Several of them are dividing shifts today so no one gets stuck the whole time.”
“I’m glad.” Dani clutched Peaches like a lifeline. She had worried about imagining Nathaniel naked. The reality was much worse. He was fully dressed in khakis and a white button-front shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His tanned arms, lightly dusted with dark hair, were very masculine, as was the high-end gold watch on his left wrist. But that wasn’t the bad part. What made her stomach do sickening flips and flops was this new awareness between them. She couldn’t explain it, but it was there.
While she stood by the bed trying not to blush, Nathaniel upended the shopping bag and dumped a pile of baby clothes on the bed. “Good news, kid,” he said with a chuckle. “You finally get to wear something new.”
“Now, if only Reggie had access to my size,” Dani joked. The fact that she was modeling another of Nathaniel’s soft cotton dress shirts over the same gray
