made as she’d ridden Raif’s horse.
She’d made a terrible mistake, not just sleeping with Raif but not telling him about her virginity. She’d put them both in an impossible situation—a situation that could have constitutional implications for both countries if Raif continued his quest to marry her—and the only way to remedy the problem was to leave. And leave quickly, before he followed her to the palace.
She’d had a lucky break, spotting the column of SUVs that had been sent out to search for her only an hour after leaving his encampment. They’d driven her straight back to the palace, where Cat and Zane had been waiting. There had been hugs and kisses, tears of joy and relief, but then had come the questions. What had happened to her? How had she survived after her vehicle had been buried? Was she okay now? Did she need a doctor?
She’d devised a deliberately vague story. She’d been rescued by a tribesman who had taken her to his encampment and then loaned her his horse to return to the palace once the sandstorm had settled. But as soon as Zane had suggested they contact the man and thank him for his help, she had known her story wouldn’t stand up to scrutiny for long. Not least because she suspected Zane knew she wasn’t telling the whole truth. As soon as he’d tried to probe into the facts—why hadn’t the man given her a saddle, where were her shoes, where did they return the horse as it was clearly a valuable thoroughbred—Cat had intervened, insisting Kasia be given time to bathe and eat and recover from her ordeal. But she’d known it was only a matter of time before Cat’s concern got the better of her.
Tears welled in her eyes. And Cat rushed across the chamber.
‘Kasia—oh, my God. I knew something was wrong.’ Gathering Kasia in her arms, she pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘Did the man who rescued you assault you, is that it? Whatever happened, it’s not your fault, okay? You don’t have to leave. We’ll figure this out.’
Kasia shook her head, scrubbing away the tears of self-pity. She didn’t deserve Cat’s concern, didn’t deserve her friend’s comfort. And she was going to have to explain herself. Admit the humiliating mistakes she’d made while at the same time protecting everyone—Raif included—from the consequences.
‘It’s not that, he didn’t assault me. In fact, it was the other way around. I actually… I shot him.’
Cat’s eyebrows rose, but her gaze remained supportive and direct. ‘Is he dead?’ she asked flatly.
‘Goodness, no. He’s okay, it was only a flesh wound.’
‘All right,’ Cat said. ‘Well, that’s good, I guess,’ she added as if she weren’t sure.
A raw chuckle burst out of Kasia’s throat. ‘How can it be good?’ she said. ‘I still shot him.’
‘So what? If he was assaulting you, he got what he deserved,’ Cat said, with complete pragmatism. And Kasia felt the tears scour her throat again.
‘But he wasn’t assaulting me,’ she managed through the emotion thickening her throat. ‘He was rescuing me from the sandstorm.’
‘And you both survived, so it’s all good,’ Cat countered, gripping Kasia’s arms. ‘But something else happened, right? Something that’s made you think you have to leave. And that’s not—’
‘I slept with him and now he’s insisting we get married because I was a virgin.’ The words burst out of Kasia’s mouth in a flood, silencing Cat.
Her friend’s eyebrows rose again. ‘Okay,’ she said. Her eyes narrowed as she stroked Kasia’s arms in a gesture of solidarity Kasia wasn’t sure she deserved.
‘He definitely didn’t coerce you into sleeping with him?’ she asked.
‘No, no, he didn’t.’
If only he had, she might be able to let herself off the hook. But how could she, when she had been fully compliant, he’d given her a clear choice and she’d taken it. Heck, she hadn’t just taken it, she’d jumped at it. ‘It was absolutely, one hundred percent consensual.’
‘Are you sure, Kaz?’ Cat said gently. ‘If he was your first, sometimes the issue of consent can be more complex.’
‘Not this time. I wanted it to happen, very much,’ she murmured in the interests of full disclosure, the humiliating truth making her cheeks burn. ‘We’d spent the night together. He was exhausted and then he had this terrible nightmare… It was intimate and I totally objectified him. Because…’ The flush climbed up to her hairline. ‘He’s really, really hot. And when we did it, I enjoyed it. A lot. In fact, I had two orgasms. I really couldn’t have asked for a better experience for my first time. But afterwards…’
She sat down on the bed, scrubbed her hands over her face, trying to erase the brutal memory of his face, so indomitable, so proud, so unyielding—and yet so trusting. ‘He was adamant that his honour means we have to get married.’ She clasped her hands together in her lap, remembering the leap of her stupidly romantic heart when he’d suggested it.
For a moment she’d actually considered it. She’d been shocked, yes, but a tiny part of her had been flattered and excited. Because that teenager who had spun romantic dreams about Raif before she’d ever met him had leapt out of hiding. But that adrenaline hit had been quickly followed by the cruel, harsh jolt of reality as soon as he’d begun to talk about honour and duty.
Marrying Prince Kasim, marrying anyone in these circumstances, would be totally wrong. However hot he was, or however many orgasms he could give her. They’d been thrown together by chance and, yes, they had sexual chemistry. But that was all they had. They didn’t know each other.
And one of the few things Raif did know about her he didn’t seem to think was relevant. She had a life plan, a plan that had changed and evolved since she was a little girl trying to justify her mother’s abandonment, or that starry-eyed and over-excitable teenager working as a servant in the palace and dreaming of marrying a prince. And that life plan did not include an arranged marriage to a man who thought his honour was more important than her future, or his own.
‘He can’t force you to marry him,’ Cat said, covering her clasped hands. ‘Even if you went to him willingly and didn’t tell him you were a virgin. If he follows you here and tries to insist, Zane will have his advisors explain the law to him. You don’t even have to see him again if you don’t want to. You certainly don’t have to go back to England to avoid that confrontation.’
‘I know,’ she said. She turned her hands over and clutched Cat’s.
Now would be the perfect time to tell Cat the whole truth, to reveal that the man she’d slept with was the ruler of the Kholadi and Zane’s half-brother. And the reason he was demanding marriage was bound up in his bloodline and his legacy and the responsibilities he had to his position—it wasn’t just a generic obsession with Narabia’s more traditional and outdated customs.
But she couldn’t tell Cat.
Not only was she hopelessly ashamed of her behaviour, she knew if she told Cat, and by extension Zane, they would still back her to the hilt. But it would put them in an impossible position. Especially given Zane’s strained relationship with Raif.
She’d screwed up, and the only way she could see to fix it was to leave. If she returned to the UK, Raif wouldn’t follow her there. It would let them both off the hook—erasing the problem
