“Naw, women only look at strippers. They don’t touch.” Nelson made a motion like that of the gyrating stripper.
“She has a very determined look in her eye. I know that look.”
Tyler had never felt jealous in his life, especially jealous of some low-life stripper. But the green monster was alive and kicking inside him now. “Apparently, it’s really over between us. She isn’t interested in me. She’s interested in…” Tyler gestured toward the room where they could still see the women and the stripper through the glass. “Maybe I need a change of scenery. I could go home to Georgia. Then I wouldn’t have to see her so often.”
“Wait a minute, pal. Before you contemplate a change of state, I think you should know that she’s going to be disappointed if she finally gets into his pants. The guy’s obviously heavily padded. She’s going to be paying a fortune to spend her evening with a cotton lining.”
“Why should I care?” Tyler turned his back on the doors.
“You could have her tonight.” His friend’s blue eyes were earnest behind his glasses.
“I’d have to knock her out and carry her out of the room. The only way she’d let me touch her again is if she were unconscious.”
“Naw. That would only aggravate your old football injury. Let’s face it, guy, you’ve got a bad back. I’ve got a better idea.” Nelson’s face suddenly turned mischievous. He punched his friend in the shoulder and said, “You should switch with the stripper. Then you can hook into this fantasy. If it’s good enough, she might take you back. And if not—” he shrugged “—then you nailed her one last time.”
“Nelson, you’ve got to be kidding me. That’s damn desperate, not to mention disgusting.”
“Yeah, and what are you if not damn desperate? You’ve been crying over her for months now, ever since just after the cruise.”
“I am not crying.”
“You do everything but. What about the woman has you so tied up in knots?”
“She wanted me on the cruise. We had a great time. Conversation, chemistry, sex, we had it all. Then we come back, we have a few great dates, and then bam, she literally slams her door in my face. No reason. It’s just over. She doesn’t do relationships. No foul, it’s just over.” He shook his head. “But it’s not over for me.”
Nelson just looked pointedly at the stripper.
“I’m not that desperate.”
“Okay.” Nelson turned to go. “It’s your funeral.”
Tyler shook his head. “What makes you think I could impersonate a stripper?”
“Got a cock?”
Tyler sighed. “I mean, how am I supposed to arrange to trade places with him? And then how am I supposed to convince Tina that I’m The Bandit? We’ve been together before.”
“Just as long as the alcohol keeps flowing, she won’t be as sharp as usual. As for the costume, just offer bandit boy a couple of hundred dollars for the leather straps and mask. He’ll probably jump at the opportunity to make a fast buck. If you’re wearing that mask, she’ll never see who she’s really with. This is the moment when all the extra time you’ve put in at the gym trying to forget her pays off.”
Tyler grabbed the iron railing in a hard grip. While he usually trusted Nelson’s judgment, this was outrageous. “This is nuts.” Tyler ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s playing with her life, real life, and she’ll probably hate me in the morning.”
Assuming I can pull off being a stripper.
Nelson fiddled with his watch. “I don’t think it’s a huge risk. Tina likes a little spice in her life. She might be intrigued enough to give you another shot, or she might be aroused enough to keep you busy for the rest of the weekend. Or…”
“Or?”
“Or she might give you a black eye.”
“She might do more than give me a black eye. She’s certainly the toughest woman I’ve ever met.” Tyler rubbed his face as if he could already feel the bruises. “Yeah, can’t figure why you’ve got it so badly for her, other than the body, I mean. She’s earned her reputation.”
“You mean The Shark thing? She’s an enigma, that’s for sure—a woman who looks like a debutante and swears like a soldier,” Tyler mused. “I remember when she actually stared down a client’s abusive husband who confronted her with a gun outside of the courtroom. Next day, she waltzed with the governor at a fund-raiser, and got her picture in the paper. She’s amazing.”
“So she’s tough, and she cleans up nicely. My assistant claims she spends a fortune to get her hair done. She’s catty.”
“Which one?” Tyler asked.
Nelson chortled. “Both of them. Beth’s overfed and grumpy. And Tina, she’s like a sleek little Egyptian cat. But her claws are lethal.”
Tyler shrugged. “What’s interesting about being sweet and nice?”
“She’s as hard as they come. No softer emotions. I just don’t find that especially attractive in a woman.”
Tyler barely paid attention to Nelson’s observations. Everyone said the same thing: Tina was a fantastic lawyer, and a hell of a lay, for those lucky enough to have been singled out, but not sympathetic, and certainly not relationship material. But people were his specialty, and he saw something in her that she tried hard to hide. Call it vulnerability. Call it bravado. The woman had serious depth.
“There’s more to her than meets the eye. Some of her clients are real charity cases, which means she isn’t representing everyone just for the money. There’s another motivation. One I don’t understand yet.”
“So she takes on pro bono. Everyone decent does. But you never see her clients turn to her and give her a hug.”
“No, she definitely doesn’t invite hugs.” Tyler grinned. He didn’t know why he found it amusing, the way Tina intimidated everyone. He had a feeling she worked at it. “She’s fascinating, full of contradictions. She’s the most amazing puzzle. Where does she come from? And why is she so scary?”
“Hey, I’m not knocking her. She’s a fantastic lawyer.” Nelson ran his hand over his thinning hair. “And I have an ulterior motive. I’m confident that when you get to see her as much as you want, you’ll eventually get tired of her. Just like all the other women you’ve dated. Then maybe you’ll stop moping. I was the one who encouraged you to go on that cruise, so I feel obligated to help you out now.”
“I do not mope.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“I’m just confused. I’ve never been tied in knots by a woman, didn’t even know what it meant.”
“You don’t have to stay confused. Do some research, run a background check. That ought to solve the mystery that is Tina Henderson so you can get on with
