you came to visit Seth?” Nate’s smile broadened and he walked into the room, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Edie shook his hand, feeling the warm strength of his grip, but didn’t rise. She wasn’t sure her legs could hold her. A flicker of unfamiliar panic struck her. How had she let herself become roped into this?
Nate looked at his wife. “You asked the girls to come to dinner, too, I hope. I’m sure they’d like to meet Seth’s friend.”
Marge bit her lip. Clearly Nate was perceptive, more perceptive than most men. He looked from one woman to the other, then slowly sat in an armchair. “Okay, what’s going on?”
Edie tried to frame an answer, but Marge forestalled her. “Well, dear, Seth doesn’t know yet, but we’re going to be grandparents again.”
Nate looked dumbstruck. Edie waited tensely, alternating between the urge to just get up and walk out and the urge to shrink into the couch. All she had wanted to do was pass the word to the one person who needed to know, and now she was caught in a spiderweb of family reactions she hadn’t wanted to cause, and things seemed to be growing more complicated by the second. Maybe she should have just written a letter.
But then her sterner nature returned in a surge, and she squared her shoulders. She had dealt with tougher stuff than this, countless times. At least nobody here was trying to kill her. It was ridiculous to panic. There was absolutely no reason for it.
“I should go,” she said firmly. “I didn’t come here intending to upset everyone. I just thought Seth had a right to know. There’s no reason for either of you to be concerned about this.”
“No reason?” Nate repeated the words. “Sorry, Major, but I don’t agree. There’s always room in this family for another grandchild. You’re staying here until we’re clear on that at least.”
She bridled a bit and wanted to tell him that he couldn’t make her stay, but she realized that wasn’t what he meant. “Look,” she said finally. “I only came because I felt Seth had a right to know. He can make whatever decision he wants. I don’t want anything from him or anyone else.”
“Really.” Nate’s expression hovered somewhere between a smile and a frown. “It’s your decision, of course. And his.”
Marge didn’t look happy about the easy capitulation, but said nothing.
“Exactly,” Edie said emphatically. She felt a surprising surge of warmth for the man and his understanding.
Nate settled back in his chair. “So tell me what you do in the air force, Major.”
So she told him, glad of the relatively neutral topic. He asked cogent questions, indicating some military background, and he, more than Marge, seemed to understand the dangers of what she and her crew did. He didn’t point them out, though, merely nodded his understanding. Marge seemed quite taken with the idea that Edie flew helicopters.
“In my day,” she said, “they didn’t let women do anything like that.”
“They do now,” Edie said.
“And in combat, too,” Marge said, looking as if she hadn’t really given it much thought. “My, things change.”
“They certainly do,” Nate agreed. “Although in my day, and probably earlier, women got right into the thick of it anyway. I saw more than a few nurses find themselves on the front lines, for all they were supposed to be noncombatants.”
“At least now,” Edie said, trying to lighten it a bit, “we come armed.”
Nate flashed a smile.
Edie could feel her nerves stretching, despite the casual conversation. Seth was going to walk in that door soon, and she couldn’t imagine his reaction. Not that she should care, she told herself. She didn’t even know the man. They’d had a stupid fling, a couple of meals, then gone their own ways. Less than twelve hours.
Which made him a perfect stranger, however intimate they’d become for an hour. Therefore she shouldn’t care how he reacted at all. He was a cipher in her life, a mere sperm donor. Damn, when she looked back on it, it had been so brief it really hadn’t been much more personal than getting a sperm donation.
Except she knew she was fooling herself. One wild night, a night she’d never forgotten and now knew she would never be able to forget. Hasty, unsparing, basic lovemaking that had birthed her into a new aspect of her womanhood, and now was bringing her a totally different future. A child, a new career path.
No, she couldn’t remain entirely indifferent to Seth. He’d given her two great gifts but had also ripped away all her goals and aims. Talk about a life-altering experience.
She’d been furious for a while. First at him, but she well remembered him rolling that condom on. “Even with perfect use they fail two or three percent of the time,” the gynecologist had said. Great. Still, she couldn’t blame Seth. She could only blame herself for giving in to impulses she had wisely avoided for years.
So she had turned the anger inward. She considered ending the pregnancy, but somehow that wasn’t in her. Just wasn’t something she could do, however sensible some of her friends tried to tell her it would be. Sensible ceased to matter. She sheltered a life within her womb, and when the first stirrings came, the arguments ended as far as she was concerned.
The odds had turned on her. They could have turned on her in far worse ways, and as she grew used to the idea, she began to like it. She was going to have a baby. Okay, deal. Make the best of it. And in some ways, it seemed like the best.
In others, not so much.
Like right now. She knew how angry she had been at first. She figured Seth would feel about the same, and just hoped he didn’t accuse her of fingering him as the father when it could be someone else. Hell, if he demanded a paternity test, he’d be breathing her dust faster than...
She caught herself and stopped. This was ridiculous. She didn’t know how he would react and imagining scenarios wouldn’t help. Just deal, the way she dealt with whatever came her way.
Marge refreshed her coffee, urging her to eat another cookie. The brief relaxation had fled, though, and the thought of trying to eat turned her stomach. This was not just a pleasant afternoon visit with an older couple. She had come to wreck some guy with news no one wanted.
She began to question all the arguments she’d had with herself about whether to tell him. Maybe she had reached exactly the wrong conclusion. Maybe she should have just left it alone.
What the hell had made her think he had a right to know? The fact that she didn’t want to look into a little boy’s eyes someday and admit she hadn’t told his father about him?
All of a sudden that seemed very weak.
“You’re doing the right thing,” Nate said.
Startled by his voice, she looked at him and realized she had gone far away in her thoughts. “Why?”
“Because I know how furious I was that nobody told me. No decent man wants to find out that he was locked out of his child’s life.” He hitched up one corner of his mouth. “Which is not to say he might not be a little angry at first.”
