loved you, Penny. We’re all proud of you, baby. And we miss you.” Mrs. Hightower smiled brightly. The woman sported a full and shapely figure and a warm demeanor. She wore a beautiful black skirt suit and a delicate string of pearls with matching earrings.
Penny moved with the Hightowers away from the casket. She couldn’t look anymore and she couldn’t listen to them anymore. If she did, the lump in her chest that was threatening to explode any minute would be her undoing. And she couldn’t lose it at the wake. She had to hold it together.
Mrs. Hightower’s kind eyes made Penny remember all the times she had let her help out in the kitchen or had taken her shopping. Celia Hightower used to say she wanted to spend some girl time and get away from a house full of men and boys.
Even before Penny and Jason became a couple, Mrs. Hightower had taken Penny under her wing as the daughter she never had. Seeing her, and missing their bond, made Penny feel even worse—as if it were possible for her to feel any worse.
“Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Hightower. I just wish I could’ve seen her before she died. She wasn’t even sick. It—it just happened too fast. I never got the chance to—”
Her voice choked off, and Penny took a deep breath. She couldn’t break now. There was just too much to do. She could have her breakdown when she returned to Los Angeles.
“She knew, baby. She knew you loved her.” Mrs. Hightower patted her hand and smiled. “Now you be sure to stop by and catch up before you head back to the West Coast. Don’t you leave here without coming to see me! I’ve missed you, sweetie.”
Penny felt the weight of the guilt she’d been feeling since finding out Big Mama died grow and press her chest down. She had never wanted to lose contact with Mr. and Mrs. Hightower. She loved them. They were like the parents she’d never had, the parents she’d wished she had. Spending time in their home while growing up had made her feel normal and, most important, loved.
“She could come over for Sunday dinner,” James Hightower offered. He stood over six feet tall and shared the same deep mahogany complexion as his four sons. He seemed to be the aged but still handsome template for those classic Hightower looks.
Penny took a deep breath. She remembered Sunday dinner at the Hightowers’ after church. And she knew she couldn’t sit through one of those family gatherings, no matter how much she secretly yearned to do so. No way could she do it.
“I’ll try, Mrs. Hightower,” Penny offered, hoping that would be enough. “But I better move along and see some of the other guests now.”
“Go ahead, baby, and we’ll see you on Sunday.” Mrs. Hightower patted her back with a smile and pushed her on her way.
It occurred to Penny to say that she hadn’t said she’d definitely be there. But given the determination Mrs. Hightower always had, she knew better than to say never.
Carla slipped out the side door of the funeral parlor as soon as she saw him. He was probably the last person she wanted to see at her mother’s wake. But there he was. If she could give him the slip, the way she had been doing since he got out of jail, that would be a good thing. If she could keep giving him the slip until she managed to talk her daughter into taking her back to Los Angeles with her, that would be even better.
Who would have thought both of those men would be out of jail at the same time? When your past came back to shoot you in the behind, it sure as hell came back blasting. For sure, this was more stress than her hanging-on-to-recovery-by-the-skin-of-her-teeth behind could handle.
She wouldn’t have her mother to help her stay clean this time. It had been hard enough doing so with her mama alive and giving her positive encouragement.
How will I stay clean with Mama dead and those fools breathing down my neck?
There was no way. She would have to find a way to get Penny to let her move back to California with her.
Yeah. That would work.
She ducked into the corner store and realized she didn’t have a whole lot of cash on her. Okay, she didn’t have any cash on her. She’d run through the money Penny sent her every month a week ago. And with Mama’s death and all, Carla didn’t think it was a good time to beg Penny for some more ends. Plus, she had to save her favors for the big stuff, like getting the hell out of Dodge on a one-way ticket to Los Angeles.
Carla only had enough for a single cigarette. If the bodega followed the new laws, she wouldn’t be able to get one, unless they had those individually wrapped cigarettes. Not every store carried them. Since she was trying to quit smoking, too, and had been doing well, that might have been a good thing. But she needed something. For sure, cigarettes were the lesser evil.
“Y’all sell loosies?” Carla patted her hair down and took a glance out of the window. Her heart stalled, and she ducked. The jerk must have followed her.
She saw him walking in front of the store. He looked like a dang-gone wild beast on the prowl.
Oh, shoot!
“We not supposed to split up the pack, Mami. It’s against the law.” The smooth Puerto Rican brother leaned against the counter and looked at her cringing on the floor. “Who you hiding from? Your boyfriend?”
He was handsome, if you liked those gooey-sticky caramel latte brothers with the deep, dark bedroom eyes. She liked her men taller, darker and a little more dangerous. Well, those tastes hadn’t gotten her anywhere but crouched on the floor hiding. So maybe she should give Papi a try?
Carla didn’t get up from her crouching position. “Did he pass by?”
“Yeah, Mami, he passed. You scared? You look like you scared.” The store clerk had a humorous expression on his face, and his lips were tilted in a half smirk.
If she hadn’t wanted him to sell her a loose cigarette so bad, she might have cussed him out and asked him what the hell he found so dang funny about her situation. But years of hustling had taught her a little something about the value of a good game face. Plus, he was cute, if you liked that type.
Carla stood and sucked her teeth in what she hoped came off in a joking manner and not the pure disgust she felt.
“How the kids say it these days? I ain’t nevah scurred.” She batted her eyes and then winked at him. “So what’s up, Papi? You gonna sell me that loosy or what?”
“Well, normally, I wouldn’t be breaking the rules. But you seem like a nice lady. So I’m gonna do you a favor. What you smoking, Mami?”
“Newports.” She gave her lips a seductive lick for good measure. “Regular.” She smoothed her wavy hair back. The stuff never held on to any hairstyles like she wanted it to. But most men seemed to like the long hair.
“I’m gonna give you this pack of Newports, Mami. You gonna give me your phone number?” He took a pack of cigarettes down, slid them across the counter with a book of matches and winked at her.
Carla noticed the wedding ring on his finger as he made the slide.
Men ain’t worth a damn!
She smiled slyly as she grabbed the cigarettes and slipped them in her purse. “You think your wife would like it if I gave you my number, Papi?”
He
