we’re sharing the hall bathroom now, how about you shower first since you filled the most bags?”
“No way. I appreciate the offer, but ladies first. You look like hell.”
“You’re such a charmer.”
“I try.”
She cast him a go-to-hell glare. “Not hard enough.”
* * *
BACK AT HER parents’ house, standing beneath the shower’s warm stream, Jessie closed her eyes, wishing it wasn’t Grady’s gorgeous profile her mind’s eye chose to see.
While sudsing her arms and legs and breasts, it was his hands she imagined stroking her. His ring dangled, teasing her with thoughts of what might’ve been.
Because thinking about him hurt, she hurried to finish scrubbing the last of the day’s grime from her hair, already dreading the task of doing the same thing all over again tomorrow.
Finished, she wrapped her hair turban-style with a towel, cinched her robe tight at the waist, then knocked on Grady’s bedroom door to tell him it was his turn in the bathroom.
His door wasn’t all the way latched, and it creaked open.
Nothing could’ve prepared her for the sight of him lying flat on the bed—naked, dirt smudged, but 100 percent glorious manly muscle. Though the proper thing to do would be to close his door, then dress herself for dinner; instead, she indulged in a long visual feast. He wasn’t body-builder bulked up, but his broad shoulders had definition. His biceps looked far too big for her to fit her hand around, and his six-pack abs and lower, well...
She closed his door, granting him privacy while she ducked into her own room.
Stretched across her bed, cheeks superheated, she remembered all too clearly the times they’d skinny-dipped in the creek, when he’d held her on hot summer days in the cool, clear water. She’d wrapped her legs around him and together, they’d discovered just how well their bodies fit together.
The first couple times had been awkward—lots of giggling and fumbling with condoms. After they’d gotten the hang of it, she’d tired of having anything between them. Unknown to him or her mom, she’d made an appointment with a Norman doctor to get on the pill. It was there she’d described how painful her monthly cycles had always been. When the medicine the doctor prescribed didn’t even dull her cramps, Dr. Laramie suggested Jessie undergo a laparoscopic exploratory procedure to check for potential causes of the pain. When Jessie’s mom wanted to know why she hadn’t told her about seeing a doctor, Jessie hadn’t exactly lied—she just hadn’t told the entire truth. When the doctor prescribed birth control pills as a way to regulate her periods and control pain, her mother hadn’t given it a second thought—or, if she had, she hadn’t mentioned it to her daughter.
When the diagnosis of endometriosis had finally come, and along with it, a speech on how she would most likely never conceive considering the severity of her condition, at first, Jessie hadn’t believed it. Then, when her mom had broached the topic one day at lunch, sharing her concerns, encouraging her to go on with her life and talking about how many alternatives there were to natural pregnancies, only then did it start to sink in that the doctor’s words had consequences.
In hindsight, she probably should’ve told Grady, but honestly? She couldn’t have handled his rejection had he said the wrong thing. She hadn’t been mature enough. She wasn’t sure she was now—not that it mattered, since she still had no intention of ever telling him the true reason she’d broken their engagement.
She couldn’t speak for his parents, but her own had been relieved when what they’d called her high school fling had cooled down. They’d dreamed of her completing college—not her dream, theirs. She’d been the dutiful daughter, and in the end had never regretted earning her degree. What had she regretted? Not being able to share her graduation with Grady. Or the high of getting her first job. Her first apartment. Her first legal beer. So many, many firsts that had been happy enough, but not nearly complete without him.
Since he’d gone, she’d felt as if her life had been lived with the sun filtered. And that had been hard, but by no means insurmountable. Way worse tragedies had been survived. Just like Rock Bluff would rebuild after the tornado, so would she.
Jessie blow-dried her hair, and when she heard the shower turn on wished her mind wasn’t flooded with images of Grady’s ripped, naked body.
She took extra care with her hair and makeup and instead of putting on yoga pants and a T-shirt, she chose a yellow sundress and sandals. Even though Grady had demanded she return his ring, it still hung safely hidden, where it would stay until she was good and ready to take it off. Maybe that day would come, maybe it wouldn’t. Who knew what the future held?
All she did know was that for now, that ring had become a symbol of the dreams she still had for her life, and a promise to never settle for anything less than the magic she and Grady had once shared.
* * *
GRADY LOOKED UP from his poolside lounge chair and had to remind himself to close his mouth. “You cleaned up all right.”
“There you go again with that charm.” Instead of smiling for him, Jessie scowled. He couldn’t say he blamed her. Out of all the things he could’ve said, why had that come out?
“Yeah, well...” He downed his beer, thankful he’d grabbed another couple of six-packs on his way home from Jessie’s school. “I meant that you look good.”
Billy Sue and his mom had set the table, but neither of the women or their husbands had joined them outside yet. Candles and tiki torches had been lit, and the sunset was a spectacular tribute to the power of life moving on.
If it hadn’t been for the ocean of devastation spread before them, he might’ve envisioned they were on a date at a swanky seaside hotel.
“Feel good about what we found today?” The question was as lame as everything else he’d done around her lately, but at least it wasn’t in any way confrontational.
She nodded. “I’d hoped to find more books without water damage, but considering how much rain fell not just during the storm but since, it’s a miracle any survived.”
“Sorry.” He hated seeing her sad.
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not, but...”
“I get it.” The situation was what it was. In time, the town would be rebuilt, Jessie’s classroom reimagined in a new location. The loss was overwhelming, but thankfully, very few lives had been lost—most on the highway where travelers hadn’t had time to seek shelter.
“Wonder where everyone is?”
“Am I not company enough?” He’d meant his question to be light, but somewhere his joking tone got lost in translation.
Her smile was slow, but once she’d fully abandoned herself to the gesture, he was lost. The setting sun transformed her golden hair into a halo and he stilled just to drink her in. Warm, brown eyes and a slight build that’d felt so damned good against him. He could’ve held her forever—had always thought he would. But for them, forever hadn’t lasted. And now, in two weeks’ time, he would leave again.
Gazing
