tears. ‘Did I hurt you? Because if I did—’
‘No,’ she said thickly. ‘You didn’t hurt me. It’s just... I don’t know what’s happening. That was just so...amazing. I can’t... I don’t know...’
I stroked her hair, wanting to give her some reassurance, the strands silky and soft against my palm. ‘What did I say about not minding a fuss? You can cry if you want. Tears don’t bother me.’ Although I was beginning to think that her tears in particular bothered me. As in, I didn’t like them if it meant she was in pain.
She sighed, some of her resistance receding. ‘It just makes...this seem like a big deal.’
‘This being the sex, you mean?’
Another soft sigh escaped her. ‘Yeah.’
I looked down at her pink face, the fierce protectiveness that had hit me earlier gripping me again. Her life seemed to be full of her being concerned for other people’s feelings, while no one was ever concerned with hers. Certainly her bloody father hadn’t been and I suspected her brothers weren’t overly involved either.
Perhaps today, right now, someone could show her that her feelings mattered. That they were important.
And that someone was going to be me.
‘It is a big deal.’ I ignored the warning that went off in my head as I spoke. ‘It’s a fucking huge deal.’
Her hazel eyes were wide and dark from beneath lashes glittering with moisture. ‘You think so?’
I stared back, letting her see the truth in my eyes. ‘It certainly doesn’t feel like any sex I’ve ever had before.’
A wave of colour washed through her skin. ‘But you’ve had a lot, haven’t you? A lot of sex, I mean.’
‘Yes, I’ve had a lot. And no, this is not the same. Not in any way.’
‘Oh.’ She blinked a couple of times, looking shocked.
I narrowed my gaze. ‘Just how often have you had sex?’ Obviously it wasn’t going to be much.
Her chin lifted, but the flush in her skin betrayed her. ‘A couple of times. With my high-school boyfriend. I mean, after Mark...’
She didn’t finish the sentence, but then she didn’t need to. I knew already. And I could understand. She hadn’t wanted to be with anyone after him. Except me.
I wouldn’t have been human if that hadn’t satisfied me on some level, while at the same time a small part of me was appalled.
Violent and angry and selfish. Yeah, you’re a great choice.
The cold threat inside me pulled tight through the heat of my triumph.
‘What?’ Ellie’s gaze sharpened on my face, her warm palm pressing against my chest.
It was disturbing how easily she could read me, though I should have expected that by now.
‘You shouldn’t be letting me touch you,’ I said gruffly, not in a position to be able to deny her anything, not when she was naked and locked in my arms, with tears on her cheeks. ‘You need someone patient and gentle. Someone kind. Christ, someone less angry at least.’
Her brow wrinkled. ‘I don’t want someone patient and kind. Sure, you have a few issues with your anger and you’ve snapped at me a few times, but you’ve never been violent. You’ve never made me feel afraid. Mark was supposed to be a nice guy and look what he did.’ She began to trace circles on my skin with her cool fingers. ‘You’re take-charge, Ash. A bit arrogant, but I kind of like that. I like that you’re passionate, too, and how you don’t care who knows it. How you don’t care what anyone thinks of you. I really admire that about you.’
I ached, a longing I didn’t know it was possible to feel tugging at my heart. She admired me... God help her.
‘Ellie,’ I began roughly.
‘Patient and kind, I’d eat for breakfast,’ she went on, totally ignoring me. ‘I like arrogant and bossy and grumpy. And I really like sexy and hot and tattooed.’ She shot a coy glance from beneath her lashes. ‘But you know what I’d like most of all? If you told me what pissed you off so much before.’
Ellie
I COULD FEEL the tension gathering in Ash’s hard, muscled body. His scarred face was full of his usual ferocity, but there was something else burning in his eyes, something other than anger for a change.
If I hadn’t known any better I would have said it was longing, though why he’d be looking at me that way I had no idea.
Though it all vanished the instant I asked the question.
I shouldn’t have asked it, not when the post-sex warmth between us had been so wonderful, but I couldn’t let it go.
I had felt the force of his anger when he’d pinned me to the floor and taken me hard. My poor bear with his sore paw...
He didn’t want to tell me and he’d been trying to distract me ever since, but something had hurt him, and I had a feeling it wasn’t simply the fight he’d been denied. It was something more and I wanted to know what it was.
I was betting it had something to do with the strange thing he’d said to me, about how I needed someone patient and kind, which was such obvious bullshit, I didn’t even know what to say.
‘Come on,’ I said crisply, digging my nails into the hard muscle of his chest and meeting his glowering look without flinching. ‘Tell me.’
‘I don’t know,’ he said after a moment and with great reluctance. ‘I was expecting a fight. I wanted it. And then Seb just took it away.’
‘I think it’s more than that, though,’ I said, stroking him carefully.
For the first time, his gaze avoided mine, the tension in his body palpable now. ‘I’ve done nothing but burn bridges with him ever since I lost that money. And yet, he just gave up those islands. After twelve years of me making his life difficult. It doesn’t make any sense.’
‘Why is that such a bad thing?’ I asked carefully. ‘So you didn’t get your big fight. So what?’
His gaze came back to mine, fierce and hot. ‘Don’t you see? Mum didn’t want to give the money to me, but I convinced her. I told her it would make our lives easier. And it didn’t. I broke her trust, Ellie.’ A muscle flickered in his jaw. ‘Like Dad did.’
I saw it then, why he was so angry and so bloody driven. I reached up and touched his face gently. ‘You’re not like him, Ash.’ Because that was what he was afraid of, wasn’t it?
‘You don’t know him so you can’t tell me that.’
‘That’s
