was being brave or brainless, but manners were deeply ingrained.
She almost waved him into the living room, then changed her mind midmotion. Living rooms were too comfortable. They invited people to stay. She wasn’t at all sure that would be a good thing, so she led him into the kitchen. Coffee tasted the same at a table.
Behind her she heard him unzip his parka, but when she turned around as she reached the coffeepot, she found he hadn’t removed his jacket. He pulled out one of the chairs at the round oak table and sat on its very edge. A man poised to get the hell out...or to move quickly.
“How do you like your coffee?” she asked.
“Black as hell and hot as Hades.”
She blinked. “Okay. I’m not sure it’s that hot, though.”
He closed his eyes for just an instant. “Sorry. I’ve been living too long among guys. I guess I could have phrased that more politely.”
“It’s okay.” She quickly filled two mugs, getting a fresh one for herself rather than trotting back to her office. She sat on the opposite side of the table from him, as far away as she could get. Unsure about this visit, she, too, sat on the edge of her seat.
“So why should you apologize?” she asked.
“Let me start at the beginning. Hi, I’m Jerrod Marquette. Nice to meet you. Sorry I was rude when you said hello earlier.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” she said, although she wasn’t absolutely certain about that yet. “Allison McMann. Or did I tell you that?”
“You told me, which makes it even ruder that I didn’t respond.”
Since he seemed to be making an effort, she sought for a way to make one herself. “Well, maybe you weren’t too happy to be greeted, but you were sure fast to the rescue when I fell. Thanks for the concern.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “It was nothing.”
“But it would be something for someone who isn’t too keen on meeting the neighbors.”
He looked away from her, his gaze growing distant. “Training. Instinct. All of it.”
“All of it? Which all?”
He lifted his mug, drinking several sips, saying nothing for so long she wondered if he would say another word.
But then he surprised her. “Military training,” he said finally. “Nothing I want to talk about, even if I could. But...” His gaze came back to her. “You know, it’s a devil of a time trying to become a civilian again. Sounds crazy, I know.”
“I didn’t say that.” And a picture was beginning to form in her mind. She wondered how far from the truth it was.
“Regardless, you wouldn’t think I’d have lost the common courtesies. It’s just that...”
Again he trailed off. She decided not to press him, but to let him say what he chose and avoid what he chose.
He sighed and drained his mug. “Too many years of secrecy. Invisibility. Being in a new place brings back habits. I can’t explain more than that.”
“I think I get it. At least some of it.”
“Nobody who doesn’t do it really gets it. But that’s the way we want it.”
“What do you mean?”
“We do what we do so civilians can remain innocent.”
It was as if he sucked the wind from her between one breath and the next. She felt an unexpected piercing pain for what must have been required of him to make a statement like that. Before she could think of a word to say, he was starting to rise, preparing to leave.
She felt a desperate urge to not let him go, though she didn’t know why. Yes, he was attractive, but what she was feeling right now touched her in a much deeper way. She needed to do something. Say something. Give him the very welcome he seemed to want to avoid. But how?
“Have some more coffee,” she said quickly.
“I shouldn’t. You were grading papers.”
Man, he didn’t miss a thing.
“Consider it my excuse not to go to bed with a pounding headache.”
For the first time, the very first time, the stone of his face cracked just a bit. One corner of his mouth tipped up. “You’ll still have to get the headache eventually.”
“Sunday will be soon enough.”
She was relieved when he walked over to the pot and poured himself more coffee. He returned to the table and sat. “I should ask about you.”
“Sure. I’m an open book.” Only as she saw his face darken a shade did she realize how that had sounded. She spoke swiftly to cover the faux pas. “Nothing really interesting, no secrets, no jaunts to exotic and dangerous places. I grew up here, went to college and came back here to teach at the community college. Chemistry.”
This time he settled back into the chair, looking less likely to take flight. Although she got the feeling he didn’t quite uncoil. She wondered if he even knew how.
“Do you like it?”
“Mostly,” she said.
“But not grading papers.”
“It’s the lousy chicken scratches. I think computers have killed the fine art of handwriting.”
“So why not let them use computers?”
“Because computers give them access to information. Every exam would essentially be an open-book test then. I do it sometimes, but other times I want to know what they really understand.”
He nodded briefly, then drank more coffee. “Great coffee, by the way.”
“Thank you. But not hot as Hades.”
Again that faint flicker of a smile. “Not quite. But hot enough.”
A silence fell, but it didn’t feel as tense. Still, she decided to fill it. “The big thing in my life right now is the state has hired me to find out how far a toxin has spread. A few weeks ago, a rancher lost two cows, and tests show it was a horrible poison.”
“What kind?”
“The kind that is outlawed because it’s so dangerous. Well, it was until the USDA allowed it to be used in a few states for coyote control. But to give you an idea what I’m dealing with here, a number of countries have labeled it a chemical-warfare weapon. And the way it spreads is incredible. It doesn’t just stop where it’s applied, which is scaring the ranchers and hunters.”
For the first time she realized how intimidating it could be to have this man’s full attention. Those black eyes had looked at her before and seemed attentive enough, but now they lasered in on her. They made her think of his comment about black as hell.
