is coming to live with me. She’s only about two years old. I’ve no idea if Juliana employed anyone suitable for her care—” lovable, impractical Juliana; how ridiculous to think of her employing servants, much less caring for a child! “—and at any rate, I want a proper English girl to bring her up. At least until I can place her in school.” He clenched his jaw, wrestling back any traces of grief. “Becky, I would like it if you cared for Juliet until she is of age.”
“But Becky has no experience as a governess.” Susannah’s brows drew together. “She also has her duties at the shop to consider. Surely there is someone among your tenants or ours that could do? At least until a nursemaid can be hired from London?”
Paul raised his head and fixed Becky with a searching look. If she didn’t appear interested, then he would have no choice but to agree with Susannah. But Becky sat back in her chair, twirling a lock of her brown hair around one finger, an absorbed expression drifting across her features. “I’ve thought of that, too,” he admitted. “But the circumstances of Juliet’s birth, and of Juliana’s stay in Italy, might be cause for gossip among people who don’t know my family well. I can’t raise my niece under a cloud of disgrace. I feel I can trust your family with decorum. Moreover, Becky bears a passing resemblance to my sister. That could make the adjustment easier for Juliet.”
“The child’s comfort and welfare must be considered above all else,” Daniel agreed. “If you feel that Becky is the right person for the job, then it remains only to see how the shop can fare without her there, and whether or not she feels equal to the task.”
Paul shifted his regard back over to her, and Becky raised her eyes to his. There was no defiance, no rebellion, no anger or annoyance in her gaze any longer.
“I feel equal to the task.” Though the words were spoken quietly, there was strength to her tone that was intensely heartening. “In truth, I am glad of the opportunity.”
“But Becky, what of your duties at the shop? Of course, I am gratified for Paul’s trust in our family—” Susannah gave him a brisk nod “—but you cannot care for a child and continue to work as a milliner. The shop was our dream, don’t you remember? You can’t simply give up on it and allow your sister to carry the weight alone.”
“The shop was your dream, not mine.” While Becky didn’t mince words, her tone remained gentle and strong. “When we worked together, it was fun. I love designing bonnets, Susannah. And I love all the handiwork that goes with it. But since you left, it’s not enjoyable any longer. Nan and I argue all the time. I feel stifled now, as though I don’t have a say in anything that happens.”
Susannah sat back against her chair, flinging her hands in the air. “You two never argued before. I was envious of your closeness, in fact, before I wed Daniel. And now?” She shook her head as though exasperated by her sister.
“Before you left the shop, you hired Bets and Rose. They help Nan with much of the work. Most of my designs are discarded or greatly altered before Nan will allow them onto the shop floor. I don’t do much for the business any longer, Susannah. It’s ruining my friendship with Nan. You’re right—we used to get on much better than we do now. We fight. I want the chance to stay close to her, even if we don’t agree.” Becky turned to Paul. “When will Juliet arrive?”
Paul shrugged. “I was informed of Juliana’s death only recently. Daniel, you recall my younger brother, George, the sea captain? He made arrangements so that my niece could travel to England in one of our yachts. So I expect she should arrive within a week. I am sending a servant to meet the boat.” That would be the best way to handle it. No personal connection that way. Nothing to upset or disturb his routine. Perhaps he could even arrange to be away when she arrived. That way, he wouldn’t be reminded of Juliana or her lonely death.
“No, indeed. We shall travel there together. Poor child, she will be so frightened and confused—” Becky broke off as a discreet knock sounded on the door, and Baxter entered with another setting for tea. “Thank you, Baxter. I am famished.”
The butler gave a courtly nod and excused himself. Paul allowed Becky’s comment to fade. He was her employer and he would decide when and even if they were going to meet Juliet’s boat or not. But he still needed to win Becky fully to his side. The time for setting out the rules would be later.
Susannah turned to Daniel. “She’s already made up her mind, and I appear to have no say in this. Consider my throne well and truly abdicated.”
Daniel threw back his head and laughed. “I don’t know that it’s such a bad idea. What Becky says is true. The shop seems to be harming her relationship with Nan. Why not allow her to try something new? As long as the shop is well staffed and Nan isn’t too burdened. Paul needs someone whom he can trust to be discreet. This opportunity could work out for the best for everyone involved.”
Susannah sighed and shook her head, turning to Paul. “My only wish is that we do all this on a trial basis. Becky has no experience with raising children. If she doesn’t like the job or doesn’t perform well with it, I think we should ask you to find a replacement. Does that meet with everyone’s approval?”
“I am sure Becky will do fine. Like all females, I am sure she has a mother’s instinct,” Paul rejoined in a hearty tone of voice—one that, hopefully, masked his relief. He’d not given much thought to how difficult it would be to talk of Juliana’s death aloud. “But if she’s not happy within three months, I’ll make inquiries of an agency in London.” He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the most difficult part of their discussion. “There must be some living arrangements, too. Juliet is so young—she will need care at all times of the day and night. I can either make arrangements for Becky to live in the east wing of Kellridge or I will need to provide her with a horse and carriage so that she can be reached at any time.”
The color in Becky’s cheeks rose and she gave her sister an uncertain glance as she sipped her tea. “I hadn’t thought of that. Juliet will need to have someone about at all times.”
Susannah straightened her posture and fixed Paul with a pointed gaze. Susannah’s expression could be truly formidable at times. “Paul has said he trusts our family. Therefore, I must return that trust in equal measure. If Paul can make the east wing your living quarters, and control any gossip so that no one will think anything untoward about your presence there, then I will agree. Provided you are comfortable with the arrangement.”
Paul’s heart began to beat hard against his rib cage. If only Becky would agree to the plan. He wouldn’t have to see Juliet at all, then. He could trust she was being well cared for, and he could make plans to be away from home as much as possible. He’d have little contact with the child. Then he would not have to suffer any painful reminders that Juliana was gone.
“I have to agree with my wife,” Daniel rumbled from his chair. “As long as everything is quite honorably handled, I would consent to Becky becoming a live-in nursemaid. I know it will, for you’ve already said you don’t want to incite gossip.”
Paul nodded. According to plan, this new development in his life would be handled to a nicety. The east wing would become Juliet’s nursery, and Becky would be there to care for her at all times. There you go. Every emotion, every detail, neatly tucked into its own compartment. He would never have to feel pain or anguish. He could continue living his life as he enjoyed, knowing that he upheld his duty in caring for Juliet. “Everything will be taken care of. As long as Becky accepts the position and these arrangements. At least for three months, so that we may see how it fares.” He turned to Becky, fixing her with the same look of authority he wielded with his servants. “Well, Becky? Will you be Juliet’s nursemaid?”
Becky
