care for a toddler and an infant. I expect to recover enough to eventually do that, but I still don’t know how long that will take.”
She paused and saw that his expression had eased a bit. “If the children are safe and well cared for and happy here, I don’t want to disrupt that. But I do want access to them. I haven’t contacted a lawyer for advice about this, but I’m not sure I’d need to independently petition the court if you’ll put something in writing to give me legitimate legal standing. Or whatever the process might be.”
Now she saw the glint of wariness in his dark gaze and she rushed to assure him of her good will.
“I’m willing to allow the court to do an assessment of me and my home. I can cover the cost of that.”
His look turned sharp and considering. “You’re serious about this?”
Emotion rose high at the comment. “I love them very much, Mr. Chalmers. I can’t describe how much I’ve missed them. I came here to make sure you know that I want to have a part in their lives and their upbringing.”
“How much a part?” Now his wariness intensified, as if he thought her presence in the children’s lives would be intrusive.
“I’m their aunt. I’d like to fulfill the pleasure and responsibility of that relationship. I know I can’t demand equal time, but I hope to have regular involvement and maybe the freedom to at least express an opinion about their care and upbringing from time to time.”
“You want a lot. What else are you after?”
The question seemed adversarial to her and that was confusing. He’d appeared to soften toward her, but now it seemed that he hadn’t softened at all. Maybe he considered her request excessive. She rushed to assure him she didn’t intend to cause problems or be a source of trouble.
“You’re welcome to select someone of your choice to evaluate me, and if you allow me to frequently visit over whatever time is left before you go to court, you’ll be able to see for yourself whether you think I’m a good or bad influence on them. And it’s not my intention to be an adversary or to be in competition with you. I just want to have a good relationship with my family.”
“What about money?”
Colleen felt the blunt question impact her, but she didn’t understand it at all. Had she missed something? But then she realized what he meant and reached for her handbag.
“I could write you a check now as a deposit on the cost of the evaluation,” she said hastily as she took out her checkbook and opened it to take hold of the pen hooked on the check register. Pen poised to write, she glanced over at him. “How much do you think? Five hundred? A thousand?”
A look of astonishment crossed his harsh expression and that confused her even more. Why did he look so surprised? She’d already told him she could cover the cost of the evaluation. Did he not want a professional evaluation of her suitability to have contact with the children?
The awful feeling that she’d missed something important in their conversation both shamed and stunned her. Her worries over her sometimes imprecise word choices suddenly seemed minor in the face of having failed to follow the details of this conversation. What had she missed? She hadn’t been aware of this problem before and the idea distressed her.
The sound of a car pulling in behind her rental car out front distracted them both. Cade immediately got up and strode toward the entry hall. Colleen forgot her worry over the confusing turn of conversation. This might be Cade’s neighbor bringing the children home and she felt a thrill of excitement.
Revived, she left her handbag and checkbook on the sofa, got carefully to her feet, and ran nervous fingers over her hair to make certain it was still tamed. She got her cane and prepared to walk toward the entry hall the moment she heard the sound of the children.
She was so weary from the long drive and the tension of her difficult talk with Cade that she’d wondered how much longer she could last and still get back to the motel where she would rent a room for the night.
But knowing that the children were probably home and that she was about to see them and hold them and kiss them, excited her and gave her an almost giddy energy that more than revived her flagging strength. She didn’t have long to wait.
The front door barely had time to open before she heard Beau’s high young voice.
“Uncle Cade! Lori’s kids got puppies!”
Colleen made her way to the entry hall, her heart going wild with excitement. It’d been six months. How much bigger had Beau grown? Would he still remember her? And Amy! She’d been five months old back then, so now she was almost a year old. Was she walking? How many words could she speak?
Colleen stepped into the entry hall, unable to keep a wide smile off her face. Because she had eyes only for the children, she barely noticed the slim, elegant blonde who ushered Beau inside and carried little Amy on her shapely hip.
Beau had indeed grown and the sight of him made her eyes sting. But Amy looked more like a little girl than a baby now, and her blue sundress set off her dark coloring and blue eyes. Beau’s dark hair was mussed, his shirttail was out and he looked like he’d been playing in the dirt.
They were so beautiful and so perfect that she had to blink away happy tears to keep her eyes from blurring and missing a second of the sight of them.
Beau saw her first as she stood there, hoping and yearning, careful to stay at the edge of the commotion while she waited for some sign of recognition and welcome from them. The way she felt now, she wasn’t certain how long she could keep herself from grabbing them for hugs and kisses, but she could do nothing until she was sure she wouldn’t startle either of them. After all, she looked different, and the last thing she wanted to do was upset them and make them wary of her. And it had been so long!
She smiled at Beau who’d stopped in his tracks and was staring at her. Amy had caught sight of her, too, and her wide eyes gave her a good looking over. She knew Amy had been too young when she’d last seen her, but she expected that Beau would remember, though she worried that her injuries might have changed the way she looked too much for him to recognize her quickly.
To her utter dismay, Beau’s happy smile froze then fell away. The look on his face switched to a frightened frown and he went instantly to Cade and grabbed his leg for security. Cade reached down to ease the boy away enough to pick him up. Beau’s little arms latched around his neck and his small face paled.
Sensing that something was terribly wrong, Colleen tried a soft, “Hello, Beau. You remember your auntie, don’t you? Aunt Colleen?” She took a small careful step forward, but Beau cuddled closer to Cade’s neck and eyed her mistrustfully.
Cade looked as if he thought Beau’s reaction was strange but he gave the boy a small bounce to draw his attention. “Your auntie’s come a long way to see you and your sister, squirt.”
“I don’t wanna see her.”
His little voice seemed to echo in the open hall and Colleen was stricken with hurt. She tried not to show it, but her smile faded a little. The entry hall had gone quiet. Colleen was aware of nothing except Beau’s fearful little face and the way Cade studied him.
“Why not?” Cade made the question sound light, but Colleen understood how serious it was. And that her future
