is a dinner date,” Trish said, her voice crackling over the connection. “Not the D-Day Invasion.”
“I realize that. But I have to have a plan, don’t you think? We’ll have dinner, we’ll discuss the book, have a little wine and then, sometime around dessert, I’ll make my proposition.”
“I thought you guys were going to see Oklahoma.”
“I hope that’s just his backup plan, in case the date is a real disaster.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t plan too much. Just let it happen,” Trish said. “You know, organically.”
“And here I was thinking I’d just force the issue up front and forget about the date entirely.” Emma stood in front of the mirror and studied her reflection critically. “Why is this so complicated?”
“It isn’t. Thousands of couples go out on first dates. And hundreds of them go home afterward and have wild monkey sex without suffering even the tiniest twinge of guilt. You bought condoms, didn’t you?”
“Four different kinds,” Emma said. “I had to drive all the way into Petaluma to get them. You should have seen the look I got from the clerk. I think she assumed I was going to an orgy.” Emma groaned. “I have to go. I hear his car. Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need luck,” Trish said. “Just be yourself and see where it goes. No pressure, no expectations.”
Emma switched off her phone, then checked her appearance once more. She looked nice. She’d taken extra time with her hair and put on a tiny bit of mascara and lipstick. The outfit she wore wasn’t blatantly sexy, but it hugged her body in all the right places.
A knock sounded from the front door and Emma jumped, pressing her hand to her heart. Her pulse began to race as she approached the door, and for a moment, she felt light-headed and dizzy. She drew a few deep breaths, then pasted a smile on her face. Emma reached for the door handle and swung it open. Mac stood outside, another bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand.
“Hi, there,” he said with a wide grin. “You look great.”
“Thank you,” she murmured. “So do you.”
Emma’s hand trembled as she reached for the flowers. His hand brushed against hers. The touch was enough to send a shock wave coursing through her body and when he grabbed hold of her fingers, her pulse leaped.
For a long moment they stood frozen, neither one of them ready to move. But then, Emma groaned softly and threw herself into his arms. They stumbled inside the house, her lips searching for his before settling in to a deeply passionate kiss.
This wasn’t the way things were supposed to begin. But as his tongue tasted the warm depths of her mouth, she forgot all about her plans and decided to surrender herself to fate.
His hands spanned her waist as Mac pressed her against the wall, his hips meeting hers. The control had suddenly shifted. Emma had never been kissed like this, with such single-minded desire and such overwhelming passion. It was as if he’d lost the capacity to think and was operating only on sexual instinct.
Her heart pounded out a quick rhythm. She tried to catch her breath and when she couldn’t, she stepped back, gasping, her face flushed with warmth. “Sorry,” she said in a shaky tone.
Mac pressed his forehead against hers. “Is everything all right?”
Emma shook her head. She felt as if she was about to pass out. “No, it’s not. I don’t think I can do this.”
“Kiss me?”
“All of it,” she said, throwing her arms into the air. She walked across the room, putting a safe distance between them. “I thought it would be easy. But it’s always just looming on the horizon, this huge, black cloud that at any moment is going to surround me and smother me with guilt and shame and—”
“What are you talking about?” Mac asked.
Emma began laughing and suddenly she couldn’t stop. Why was this so difficult? Women lost their virginities every day. And yet the longer she held on to hers, the more it seemed to define her.
“Are you all right?”
It was one of those laughing fits that left her gasping and crying at the same time. She grabbed a quick breath. “It’s just—you’re going to hear this anyway if you haven’t already and maybe it best that I just said it up front.”
“Say what? That you’re a virgin?”
“I’m a virgin,” Emma shouted, throwing her arms out. She snapped her mouth shut and stared at him. “You knew?” She pressed her fingertips to her lips and waited for the humiliation to pass. She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out, but it was like an embarrassing medical condition. There was just no way to work it into the conversation.
“Yeah, I heard something about it,” he said.
Emma took a ragged breath. “I wanted you to understand. I mean, it’s best to be honest and I—”
“And you assumed I’d expect the evening to end in bed?”
“I was hoping it would,” she said. “At least that’s how I wanted to feel. But then, that kiss just—wow! I mean, my life flashed before my eyes and I couldn’t think. Or maybe I couldn’t stop thinking. I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
He frowned, then shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
She turned away from him and began to pace, following a short track across the living room. “I want to be completely up front with you. I don’t really care about dinner or talking about the book or going to see the play. I was just really hoping that you’d find me attractive enough to seduce at the end of the evening.”
“I do find you very attractive,” he murmured, reaching out to grab her hand. He pulled her back toward him, then rested his hands on her hips. “And seducing you has been on my mind a lot.”
“Before or after you found out I was a virgin?” He paused before answering and she could see the truth in his eyes. “I get it. It’s a big deal. Huge.”
“It’s just that your first time is supposed to be special,” Mac explained. “Especially if you’ve waited this long for it to happen.”
“And you can’t make it special?”
“Sure I could. But you’ll want more than a quick fix.”
“No, no, no,” Emma said, shaking her head. “I don’t want a boyfriend or a fiancé. I just want sex.” She slapped her hand over her mouth. “Maybe we should call an end to this now, before I make a complete fool of myself.”
He took her hand and pulled her over to the sofa, tugging her down to sit beside him. “What do you want to do, Emma? Right now.”
“I want to crawl under a rock and stay there until you forget this whole conversation,” she said.
“That’s not necessary. Let’s put aside all the talk about the...the
