* * *
The pub served food so Callum had something to eat then went back up to his room. He had spent almost thirty-six hours on the go and he was bone-tired. He desperately needed to sleep and lay down on the bed, fully clothed, but he couldn’t settle. He kept thinking about what had happened with Beth and knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest until he had resolved at least some of the issues with her.
In the end, he got up and left the pub, taking his time as he walked to the cottage. He had no idea what he was going to say to her when he got there but he needed to convince Beth that he had been telling the truth about her letter failing to reach him for so long. At least, it would be a start if he could do that, a small step towards convincing her about all the rest. Despite what she thought, he did care about their daughter. He cared a lot, far more than he would have expected, in fact. He had a child and even though he had never really wanted a family of his own, he intended to do his very best for her...
If only Beth would let him.
The thought felt like a lead weight inside him. Callum was very aware that Beth would have the deciding vote when it came to a decision about his input into their daughter’s life. Bearing in mind how she had reacted earlier, it seemed unlikely that she would let him have anything to do with her, and he was devastated at the thought that he might not be able to play any part in his child’s life.
He stopped outside the cottage, wondering how best to approach this. He might only get this one chance and he couldn’t afford to waste it. Maybe it had hurt to be treated so coldly by Beth before but his feelings didn’t matter. It was his daughter who mattered, the child he and Beth had conceived against all the odds that last night.
Callum found his thoughts winging back to that night and he shuddered. He had only gone to see Beth because the papers finalising their divorce had come through that morning. For some reason he still couldn’t explain, he had felt that he’d had to acknowledge the ending of their marriage in person. What he had never expected was that they would end up in bed together. He had honestly thought that their desire for one another had died, but that night it had felt just like it had in the beginning. The feel of her hands on his skin, the brush of her lips against his, had transformed their lovemaking into something magical. Special. Something he had never felt before and knew he wouldn’t feel again.
His heart ached with a sudden searing pain. He had loved her so much and knew that she had loved him too—how could they have lost sight of that?
Beth tiptoed to the nursery window. Beatrix had fallen asleep and she didn’t want to wake her. Reaching up, she went to draw the curtains then paused when she caught sight of Callum standing outside. Her heart leapt even though she’d half expected that he would seek her out again. All of a sudden, she wasn’t sure what to do. If she let him in then he would only repeat what he had said earlier and she couldn’t see any point in that. He had claimed that it had taken months for her letter to reach him but did she believe him? If he could lie about loving her then he could lie about that too!
Beth felt a wave of anger wash over her as she drew the curtains then made her way downstairs. Opening the front door, she stared, stony-faced, at the man standing outside on the step. He had his hand raised in readiness to knock and she glared at him. ‘Beatrix is asleep and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t wake her up.’
‘Oh. Right.’
He looked momentarily disconcerted, which was rare for him. Callum’s confidence was one of the things that had attracted her to him when they had first met. They had both been invited to a mutual friend’s birthday party in London, a noisy affair that had grown rowdier as the evening had worn on. Although most of the people there had been similar in age to her, Beth had found their behaviour childish. Their main aim seemed to be to drink as much as they could but getting drunk wasn’t something she planned to do.
She was due in work the following day and had no intention of turning up with a hangover, so when one of the men had tried to persuade her to take part in their drinking game, she had refused. The situation had turned ugly then. Beth had felt really frightened when he had grabbed hold of her and forced the glass to her lips, and that’s when Callum had stepped in.
He hadn’t said a word as he’d removed the glass from the other man’s hand and placed it on a table, but his expression had said it all. The man had immediately let her go and hurried away. Only then had Callum spoken and all he’d done was ask her if she was ready to leave. They had left the party and found an all-night café down by the docks. The time had flown past as they had talked about their lives over mugs of tea.
Callum had explained that he worked for an aid agency and that he had only recently returned from India. It was very different from the career path Beth had chosen and she was intrigued to hear more, not that the conversation was in any way one-sided when he’d seemed equally fascinated by what she had done. She had never met anyone who was as easy to talk to as Callum and she’d found herself telling him things she had told no one else. By the time they left the café, she was already half in love with him...
‘Look, Beth, I know you said before that you didn’t want to hear what I had to say but it’s important that we sort this out.’
The urgency in his voice brought her back to the present, although it was hard to rid her mind of the memories. They had been so good together, true soul mates, totally attuned to one another, until she had decided that she wanted them to have a baby. Would their relationship have lasted if she hadn’t made that decision? She had no idea. However, it was that thought that made her step back so Callum could come in. If she was even partly responsible for ruining what they’d had then she owed him this at least.
‘Come into the sitting room,’ she said shortly, leading the way.
Callum followed her in, smiling when he saw the basket of toys tucked under the coffee table. ‘I see our daughter’s into cars rather than dolls.’
‘She loves anything that has wheels.’ Beth sat down on the chair, leaving Callum to have the sofa. It would have been too hard to sit next to him and recall all the other times they had sat there, cuddled up together. It was something else she didn’t want to dwell on and she sprang to her feet. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. What d’you want—tea or coffee?’
‘Neither, thanks.’ He grimaced. ‘I drank so much tea and coffee on the journey back here that I’m awash with it.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Beth hesitated but she really didn’t want anything to drink either. It had been more a delaying tactic, but perhaps it would be better to get this over with. The sooner Callum had said his piece, the sooner he would leave and things would get back to normal. It was a relief when he carried on.
‘I got here as quickly as I could, Beth. Once I received your letter, I contacted the agency and told them that I needed to return to England immediately.’ He shrugged. ‘All right, I’ll admit that it took a couple of weeks to make the arrangements but there was nothing I could do about that. It was out of my hands.’
He sounded sincere enough and Beth found herself wavering. Was he telling her the truth or was it merely some elaborate tale he had dreamed up to explain his absence? The Callum she had known in the past had never lied to her. Or at least she had thought he hadn’t done so, she amended swiftly. She didn’t want to think that he was lying to her now but how could she trust him after what he had done? He had walked away even though he had claimed to love her. He had even told her that on their last night together, told her that he loved her and that he would always love her. She had taken it to mean that he had changed his mind, that the divorce had been a mistake, and that he wanted them to get back together.
