I think he was troubled. Had he lived...’
As his father sighed, Paul’s mind struggled to take in all that he had been told. It seemed that there were aspects of his brother that he had not suspected. If Mark did not particularly want to be the master of Ravenscar...if he had not truly loved Lucy...but, no, his father was mistaken. Any man fortunate to know Lucy, as Mark had, must love her.
‘I can hardly credit it,’ he said to his father. ‘I am sorry for it, if it is true—but Mark appeared to be so pleased with the world. He spoke of the wedding and of making the estate stronger, more prosperous.’
‘It was his intention to improve things, especially for our tenants,’ Lord Ravenscar said. ‘He spoke of pulling old cottages down and building new...and, as I said, I believe he hoped to make the money for these improvements by a venture into trade.’
‘As Adam and Hallam have with their wine importing,’ Paul said. ‘I do not think I have such bold ideas in my head, Father. I cannot see myself investing in cargoes or selling wine or tea. I think an improvement may be made to the land by new methods of farming—and I should like to breed horses if I can afford it.’
‘You are a countryman after my own heart,’ his father said and smiled. ‘It was my ambition to breed fine horses at one time, but I was too lazy. If you have your mother’s blood in you, you may achieve more, for she was always busy.’
‘You have never gambled your fortune away, sir, as many gentlemen do. I shall have no debts to settle, as my cousins did.’
‘I would have loaned them money, you know, but they were too proud to ask and in the end solved their own problems. I wish that I could have had more time with you, Paul—time to teach you things you should know, but Anders is a good man. He will help you...and Hallam knows the estate well.’
‘Hallam has done his share,’ Paul said. ‘I shall do well enough—and I still have you to guide me, sir.’
His father’s hand trembled a little on the bed. ‘I fear not for much longer, my son—but I shall die in peace now that I have seen you again. All I want is for you to be happy.’
‘I shall do my best to oblige you, sir. I shall make you proud of me and the estate will not suffer if I can prevent it.’
‘I know you will do all I could ask, my boy,’ his father said and smiled at him. ‘But it is not just the estate...you must find a wife to make you comfortable and you will need at least one son—more is always better.’ They were both silent, for they had ample cause to know what might happen to the rightful heir.
‘Yes, Father,’ Paul said, feeling a lump in his throat as his father lay back and closed his eyes. ‘I shall remember. I will look about for a comfortable wife...’
No answer came and he knew that his father was sleeping. He had wanted to say so much in a short time and it had exhausted him.
Paul felt the sting of tears. He feared that his father could not live many days, for his strength was failing, but God had given them this short time together. Lord Ravenscar had given him hope, because he felt he had his blessing. Somehow, their talk had eased his grief in a way that the months of self-imposed exile had not. He should have stayed here with his father, got to know him better...but at least they’d had this time together.
Mark would always be his hero, but the feeling of having always been inadequate had lessened. His father had not thought him a failure—he trusted him to take care of the estate and its people. Paul would not let him down...and he would look for a lady to make his wife. It was his duty to his father and to the estate.
He thought fleetingly of Lucy, then dismissed her from his mind. She would not look at him, but there were other ladies almost as lovely...and perhaps one of them would be happy to be his wife and give him the sons the estate needed.
Chapter Two
Pausing at the top of the landing that morning, as he heard the female voices in the hall below, Paul caught his breath. Surely that was Lucy’s voice? She must have come to visit his father.
He took a deep breath and went down the wide staircase, with its beautifully carved mahogany banisters. As he reached the bottom he paused and she turned her head towards him, making him catch his breath. He was surprised as he looked into her face and saw a stranger. It was Lucy, but not as he remembered her—her face was thinner, older, yet in a way even more lovely—but there was something different. The Lucy Dawlish he’d known had been so open, a trusting, lovely, lively girl who had chattered heedlessly and laughed all the time... This woman had an air of reserve about her...as if she were encased in a crystal, her thoughts and feelings shielded from public gaze.
‘Miss Dawlish,’ he said and held out his hand in greeting. ‘How pleasant to see you.’
‘Captain Ravenscar,’ she replied and made a slight curtsy. ‘I am glad to see you home at last. Your father must be happy that you have come back, I dare say.’
He felt her censure and frowned. He knew well enough that he had neglected both his father and the estate, but he did not care to hear it from her—and it was there in her manner and her eyes.
‘Yes, he is,’ Paul said. ‘It is good of you to enquire. Yesterday, when I arrived, he was very tired, but today he seems better. I sat with him for an hour and we talked of estate matters. If you will excuse me, I shall leave you and Jenny to talk. I have something to do that Father most particularly requested.’ He inclined his head to her and then glanced at Jenny. He gave Lucy a cool look, for he had retreated into that private place within him. She looked at him with eyes that saw too much and he needed to escape. ‘I shall not be at home for luncheon, Jenny—but I shall certainly be back for tea.’
‘Yes, of course, Paul,’ she said, smiling at him. ‘Adam should be home later this afternoon. I told you he had gone to London on business, but he will be so pleased to see you back where you belong.’
Paul nodded and went past them and out into the warm sunshine. It was a few moments before he felt the warmth, for he felt as if he were encased in ice. He was not sure whether he had behaved just as he ought, for it had been such a shock to see Lucy standing there looking so changed...but he hoped that he had said all that was polite to an old friend. She could never be anything more...and she was not the girl of his dreams.
What had happened to change her so? Had she grieved so deeply for his brother?
Walking swiftly towards the agent’s office, he thrust his feelings to the back of his mind. His father had asked him to ride out and speak with one of their farming tenants. The house needed a substantial repair to the roof and it was needful that it should be set in hand at once. Hallam had not made a decision on it before returning to his home, but now that Paul was back at Ravenscar, it would be his decision.
He must attend to business and forget the way his heart had hammered at the first sight of the woman he had once loved. It was his duty to think of the estate and to marry a sensible woman to provide an heir for the title. This foolish yearning must be put aside. Lucy was beyond him and so he must not think of her— besides, she was not the same.
‘Captain Ravenscar,’ Mr Anders said, looking up from his ledgers. ‘What may I do for you, sir?’
‘I have it in mind to take a look at Briars Farm,’ he said. ‘Will you ride out with me, Anders? I should like to see the work that needs to be done for myself...and then we
