the staff would’ve given her over the phone.
‘We weren’t. I got a text from his mum, Maggie, last night. I keep in touch with most of the parents to see how the kids are doing. Not everyone thinks I’m the devil incarnate.’ She was trying to get a rise out of him but she’d managed that with one snippet of information.
He couldn’t believe she was close enough to the families that they included her in their circle of trust. If what she was saying was true, that information on the children’s health wasn’t even gleaned for the benefit of the show. He would have to rethink what he thought he knew about her. His jaded perception of anyone in the media world had meant that he’d thought it impossible for her to be genuinely invested in these kids. To find out otherwise meant he might have to actually start being nice to her. At work.
‘Well, I’m pleased you have such a personal interest in the families but I hope you understand we still can’t have you breezing in and out as you please. We’re not going to hold back treatment to fit in around your schedule.’ The deliberately harsh words were an attempt to establish boundaries in a situation where he was scrabbling for an ounce of control. She was a member of staff by proxy and privileged to have been given access to the ward, after all.
‘I assure you I’m deadly serious about this job. My timekeeping is usually impeccable. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep very well last night and didn’t hear the alarm go off this morning. I’m sure even you’ve overslept on occasion but you have my word it won’t happen again.’ Jessica stiffened in the passenger seat, her hands resting very properly in her lap as she rose above his accusation of complacency.
‘Good.’ Rob jammed the car into fifth gear as they got a free run onto the motorway.
‘Fine.’
An uneasy silence filled the interior of the car as they retreated back to their corners. Rob might have successfully asserted his authority over the crew’s presence in the department, but he’d also ploughed up any groundwork they’d laid for a semi-harmonious working relationship. All because he couldn’t handle being this close to another woman without freaking out about it.
‘Isn’t there someone else who could give you a nudge in the mornings, or give you a lift into work?’ He didn’t know why he was pushing for more information about her home life. Whether she had a partner or still lived at home with her parents was of no consequence to him. Perhaps he was simply hoping there was someone else in her life to take responsibility for getting her to work on time so he didn’t have to.
‘I’m single and rediscovering the joys of independence. How about you?’ There spoke the voice of a bitter break-upee. Someone who probably wasn’t in a hurry to jump back into a relationship of any sort. Not that her love life was of any consequence to him.
He had no desire to get involved in the details of her split, nor did he want to get caught up in an exchange of personal information with a virtual stranger. After a moment he decided to go with ‘Unhappily single’ to describe his current status. He wasn’t alone by choice, and he wasn’t too fond of the other label usually bestowed on him, since it portrayed him as some sort of tragic case.
‘What, no Mrs Campbell to see you off to work in the morning with a kiss and some freshly cut sandwiches?’ The sneer in Jessica’s voice declared her judgement on the sort of woman she imagined married to him. How little she knew. Leah’s free-spirited nature hadn’t been dampened simply because she’d become a wife and mother. If anything, Rob had been the one in the relationship more suited to domesticity. Not that he would admit that to a woman who’d already challenged his authority and coerced him into making concessions for her benefit. A woman not unlike the one he’d lost.
‘Not any more.’ He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, trying to strangle the emotions bubbling up inside him, and put his foot down on the accelerator to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Post shift was the time for wallowing in his grief, certainly not before. It wouldn’t do to cross his personal life with his professional one or he’d end up a complete blubbering mess every time a family reminded him of his. And what purpose would he have in life if he couldn’t even do his job properly?
‘Did she forget to cut your crusts off once too often?’ The throwaway remark came with a snort but the subject was too raw for Rob to find any amusement.
‘She died.’ He didn’t have to turn his head to know he’d left Jessica open-mouthed; those words always had the same effect when he was forced to say them.
Usually he resisted telling people about his personal circumstances for as long as he could. This time, instead of reliving the horror by bringing it up, he found some relief in sharing his secret. It was somehow less painful than he’d imagined. In that brief moment he’d been able to actually be himself and stop pretending he was a man who had it all. As if he’d exhaled the toxins of the past in one deep, cleansing breath.
It was something he should’ve confided a long time ago. He knew Maria and plenty of others were curious about his wedding ring and lack of wife but he’d never been drawn to spill the details. It would only have led to more questions he wasn’t prepared to answer.
There was something he recognised of himself in Jessica. Something about her which put him at ease in her company. Something dangerous.
‘I’m sorry.’ Jessica mentally facepalmed as she suffered a bout of foot-in-mouth disease. She would never have made such crass comments if she’d known he was a widower. In truth, she’d only said those things to remind herself that he was out of bounds. Her libido had pinged back to full strength when she’d felt those strong muscular thighs beneath her fingers. Now here she was having hot flashes which were more to do with lusting over a grieving man than her hormones. Mother Nature’s timing was as atrocious as ever.
‘Thanks.’ Rob kept his eyes firmly on the road, leaving Jessica unable to read him. His locked-out arms and firmly set jaw told her she probably wasn’t meant to, but it would be remiss of her not to probe further when he’d volunteered that first revealing nugget.
‘Was your wife Scottish too, or local?’ It was a question Jessica deemed not too intrusive but designed to give her an idea of the timeline involved here. He was still wearing his wedding ring after all. Rob had been at the hospital for a few years, so if he’d met his other half after he’d started his post here it could have been a recent passing. Even Jessica wouldn’t put a newly bereaved doctor in front of the camera if he still had issues to work through. She made a note to quiz Maria Dean, the senior nurse on staff, who, unlike Rob, always seemed happy to talk.
‘Leah was from Edinburgh, same as me.’ The muscle in Rob’s jaw twitched and Jessica could almost hear his teeth grinding together.
A name. An indication that he’d probably come to Northern Ireland after her death. Progress.
‘Do you mind me asking—’
‘Can we drop this, please?’ This time he did look at her, shooting blue laser beams at her and leaving her under no illusion that the subject was a no-go zone for the foreseeable future. Apparently he did mind, cutting her off before she could enquire about what had happened to Leah.
‘Sure. Sorry.’ She was. Sorry she’d got him offside again, sorry he’d lost his wife and, most of all, sorry she’d brought it all back to him.
They spent the rest of the car journey to work in silence, Rob clearly lost in his memories and Jessica unwilling to say anything more in case she upset him further. If circumstances were reversed, she wouldn’t appreciate anyone prying into her
