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Unfortunately, space gear is expensive. So I had to be resourceful and make my own even better space equipment. All it took was a bike helmet, some cling film and a few flashlights (it’s dark in space). I even made a custom SPACE BLASTERS shirt with some felt tip markers.
I thought it was going to be a perfect day.
It all started when I got on the bus to go to the museum. I sat down next to Zoe and Bernard, proudly wearing my SPACE BLASTERS T-shirt and specially crafted space helmet.
‘Sam,’ said Bernard, blinking at me. ‘What exactly are you wearing?’ He was holding a lightsaber and wearing a Star Wars T-shirt. A fancy one. NOT one that he had made himself.
‘Yeah,’ said Zoe, frowning at my T-shirt. ‘What’s a space blaster?’
This was NOT the reaction I was expecting.
‘Oh,’ I said as I pointed at my T-shirt.
‘This is Spaceman Jack and this is Captain Jane!’ Or at least it was supposed to be. Drawing is NOT one of my talents.
My friends stared at me blankly.
‘Spaceman Jack and Captain Jane?’ said Bernard.
‘Hmm . . . I should have drawn Five-Eyed Frank, huh? He’s probably more recognisable.’
‘Five-Eyed Frank? What are you talking about?’ said Zoe.
I looked around the bus and I realised that NOBODY had any kind of SPACE BLASTERS gear on. I didn’t get it! SPACE BLASTERS is the
‘You know – SPACE BLASTERS?’
Their expressions told me that they did NOT know about SPACE BLASTERS.
‘It’s all about Captain Jane and Spaceman Jack’s adventures with their alien friend Five-Eyed Frank. They travel on TUBS, which stands for “The Universe’s Best Spacecraft”, and BLAST through wormholes to other galaxies and fight bad guys. It’s the BEST!’
‘So . . . it’s like a less cool Star Wars ?’ said Bernard.
‘No,’ I scoffed. ‘It’s WAY cooler.’ I actually wasn’t totally sure. I’d never seen Star Wars.
Zoe and Bernard were still looking at me like they didn’t believe SPACE BLASTERS was the best show in all of the universe. ‘You’ll understand when you watch it,’ I said.
‘All right,’ Zoe said, and Bernard nodded. And then we were at the Space Museum.
And that is when it all REALLY went wrong.
After waiting in a super long queue we were FINALLY in the Space Museum.
And it was awesome. We even got to go inside the spaceship! I felt like I really was Spaceman Jack.
‘This is AWESOME,’ I said.
Then someone snorted. That someone being the worst person in this galaxy, and maybe in all of the galaxies. That someone being Ralph Philip Zinkerman the Third.
‘This place is so lame,’ said Ralph. ‘Real space camp will be way cooler. I’m going inside an anti-gravity machine.’
If anything was going to ruin the trip to the space museum, it was Ralph. He’d told us all about how he was going to a fancy-schmancy space camp in the summer. The kind that costs about a bajillion dollars. The kind that I would give ANYTHING to go to.
‘Hey, Sam Wu-ser,’ said Ralph. He laughed an evil-villain laugh. He thinks it’s hilarious that he could make my last name rhyme with loser.
Ralph knocked on my spaceman helmet. ‘What is this thing on your head? Are you supposed to be an astronaut? I can’t tell through all the lameness.’
‘I’m NOT an astronaut,’ I said. ‘I’m a spaceman. TOTALLY different.’
Ralph snorted. Again. He’s a master of snorts.
Before I could explain, Zoe jumped in.
‘Sam is OBVIOUSLY Spaceman Jack,’ she said. ‘From SPACE BLASTERS. Haven’t you ever heard of it?’
This is why Zoe is the greatest friend in the history of the universe.
‘Spaceman Jack?’ said Ralph, frowning. ‘Sounds dumb.’
‘Tell him all about Spaceman Jack and Four-Eyed Fred!’ said Bernard. He was bouncing next to me, waving his lightsaber around.
‘Five-Eyed Frank,’ I corrected, but it didn’t matter. I looked Ralph straight in the eye. Just like Spaceman Jack always looks at the bad guys before he battles them.
‘Spaceman Jack is the bravest being in all the galaxy.’
Ralph snorted (seriously he could win a snorting competition). ‘And you are supposed to be this “Spaceman Jack”?’ he said.
I nodded so hard that my helmet slipped over my eyes and I had to push it back up.
‘Well, if you’re so brave, why don’t you get in that thing?’ Ralph smiled a nasty smile and pointed over my shoulder.
I slowly turned, then my stomach dropped into my shoes.
It looked like a giant dinosaur egg. If a giant dinosaur egg was also a bomb.
‘It says For Adult Riders Only,’ said a new voice.
It was Regina. Ralph’s twin sister. But she wasn’t evil like he was. ‘Sam shouldn’t go in that,’ she said. ‘And I think it’s broken. It might be dangerous.’
‘I thought you were supposed to be some brave spaceman?’ Ralph said to me. ‘Or are you too scared, Sam Wu-ser?’
