up.
“Well? Are they?” they all asked.
“I never give up my secrets to the enemy,” he said with a lift of his chin. “Not even if you torture me.”
“You’re spying for us, you dingy!” Betty said.
He took them in with narrowed eyes. “But how can I be sure of that? Maybe you’re all just pretending to be on my side. Maybe you’re double agents. I’m good at ferreting out the bad guys. That’s why they made me a spy in the war, you know.”
“We know, we know already,” Nita said. “Out with it.”
“They called me the Black Gopher. That was my code name.”
“All right, Black Gopher, out with it!”
He lifted his chin. “I never cracked under the interrogation. No matter what they did to me, I held my secrets. I…ah!”
“Give it up!” Nita said, a firm grip on his earlobe.
“All right, all right! You’re dislodging my sonic ear, woman!” He pushed it back in. “I pretended to be watering my plants when they was by the door talking. They didn’t have a clue I was listening. They used to call me the Black Gopher, you know.”
“We know! Are they or aren’t they?”
He nodded, pride gleaming on his face. “It’s a charade, all right, just like you said.”
“Like I said,” Nita said, releasing her hold. “That’s just the kind of thing she’d do to protect that man from us.”
Betty said, “But I think it’s more than that. She really likes him. She’s got a glow about her.”
Annette gave it some thought. “Yeah, now that you mention it, she does.”
“So what’s our game plan? The usual?” Arlene asked.
“No, it’s different this time. Barrett’s different,” Frieda said.
Ernie nodded. “He does seem like a good guy. Gene’s son says so.”
“Not like some of those other guys she’s brought around.” A chorus of agreeing murmurs went up. Ernie said, “It took a lot of convincing until that last guy believed Stacy was part of a Mafia family. I should have used the line I used the time before that with the dinner theater actor.”
“But it’s so mean to make up stories about Stacy’s mental health,” Frieda said.
“Maybe we’ve finally found the guy she deserves.”
“And she’s everything we said Barrett needs in a woman.”
“She looked so dang disappointed that we didn’t see it at workout earlier,” Arlene said with a slow shake of her head. “I feel just terrible about it.”
“We were only thinking about ourselves. Game plan, game plan. Well, they’re already pretending to be dating, that’s a start.”
“But you know our Stacy. She’ll be diligent about not distracting him from his important project.”
They all nodded in agreement. Then Nita got a glimmer in her eyes. “So we force their hand. Call their bluff. She’s protective of Barrett getting his project done, right? If we keep bluffing about trying to set him up with our offspring, she’ll have to spend more time protecting him. More time with him.”
Betty rubbed her hands together. “Ah, and what if we come right out and tell her we don’t believe her? Tell her we want proof?”
They all put their hands in the center of their circle, cheered, “Power Squadron, unite!” and pulled their hands away with a flourish.
“Oh, by the way, Arlene, good work nixing that grooming job for Stacy. It wasn’t the right thing for her. What line did you use this time?”
“The one about her escaping the loony bin. It seems to do the trick.”
Betty smiled. “We’ll find her the right man, and then the right job. Hopefully the assistant director’s position at the Humane Society will open up soon. That’s where she belongs, not grooming dogs.”
“Or working at a pet store.”
Ernie had a glint in his eyes. “Maybe we can give that assistant director a little nudge….”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I can’t bring Elmo back in?” Stacy stared at the phone and imagined RJ’s lean face and military-style haircut on the other end. She’d called to tell him she was keeping Elmo for the night.
The director of the shelter cleared his throat. “Naomi took in some boarders. Five of them.”
“We only had four cages available.”
“That would be the problem with bringing Elmo back. Look, I’m not pleased about it, either, but the woman with the dogs gave us a very generous donation. She had to fly out of town to attend a funeral, and she had no one to watch her dogs. I can’t put Elmo in a cage with any of the other dogs, because he’s so small, and the woman said all the dogs had to be kept separate. Sorry, Stacy, but you’re going to have to keep him for a few days. I didn’t think it would be a problem.”
She glanced at Weasel Boy, who was staring at the front door and whining. Yeah, he was going to be real grateful, wasn’t he? “You’re right, it’s not a problem. He’s fallen in love with the guy next door.”
“Good for you, Stacy. It’s about time.”
“Not me! The dog!” But even as she denied it, her heart gave a funny dance inside her at the thought.
“Maybe you can convince him to take the little guy, then.”
“Forget it. He doesn’t believe in romance. I mean, he’s not comfortable around dogs.”
“I’ve gotta run. Thanks for helping us out. You’re the best.”
When she walked into her bedroom, she was drawn to those pieces of paper taped to her dresser mirror. She couldn’t walk in here without looking at them. Which was good because then she didn’t notice the clean clothes in a stack on the floor waiting to be put away or the unmade bed. Granny would be ashamed of her. What would she think about this unorthodox way to start a family?
She looked at the sperm donor profiles. Which one, which one? These were her top picks. Smart, talented, healthy. “Eeny, meeny, miny…” Her finger dropped to her side. She just couldn’t decide. Why? Every time she thought she’d made a choice, she changed her mind. The calendar reminded her she had mere days before ovulation. She fell back on the bed and pulled the gingham comforter over her head. Why couldn’t she commit?
FOR HALF THAT NIGHT, Barrett watched the snails and made diligent notes. Unfortunately, they were about Stacy. He couldn’t figure her out, and more important, couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t get her out of his mind. When she left, he felt strangely empty. He’d never felt that way before. He knew it had something to do with her, or more precisely,
