have come here to rest from the conversation of the marshal and Flatternot; Heaven protect us from such fault-finders! At dinner I received a letter from Countess Folliest; I did not manage to read it; now I’ll read it at my leisure. (Reads.) “Dear Countess, — If you wish, you can take Mr. Pelican now as tutor for Count Basil. The Frenchman is full of abilities; he draws teeth expertly and cuts corns.” Oh, what luck! He can cut corns too, and I so want some one! “He will take a moderate salary, and will call you, Countess, as well as the Count: votre altesse!” (Enter Count.)
Countess: Oh, my dear Count! Countess Folliest is doing us a great favour; she has found a tutor for Count Basil who can also draw teeth and cut corns; and, what is most important, he will call us: votre altesse!
Count: What could be better? (Enter Wisely and Flatternot.)
Count: What would you wish to teach my son?
Flatternot: First of all, the principles of the faith in which he was born.
Countess: And dancing?
Flatternot: You are pleased to joke.
Count: And what foreign languages?
Flatternot: I begin with Latin.
Countess: But is he to be a priest?
Flatternot: But is Latin only fit for priests?
Count: I do not know why a count’s son should learn Latin.
Flatternot: Because it is the root of many languages.
Countess: Well, I never.
Count (to her): Do not forget to send an answer quickly to Countess Folliest.
Countess: At once. We will come back at once. Excuse us that we have to send off a postilion to our neighbour.
Flatternot: At your service. (Exeunt Count and Countess.)
Wisely: Do you find the Count’s household as I described it to you?
Flatternot: Exactly. But it seems to me I am already beginning to be a burden to them.
Wisely: Yes, and they do not seem to be very contented with me. (To Servant.) Have my carriage got ready, friend. (To Flatternot.) We can go away at once.
Countess (entering, to Count): I have invited the Countess herself with Pelican; maybe Count Basil will have a tutor after our heart.
Count (aloud): Here we are, gentlemen. We have hurried back to enjoy your conversation.
Flatternot: A great honour.
Countess: I wanted to ask you, Mr. Wisely, do yon think it would be good to send our son to France in ten years’ time?
Wisely: You are looking far ahead, madame. We do not know whether in ten years’ time there will be anyone to send or anyone to send him to.
Flatternot: And I say in addition that we cannot foresee whether in ten years’ time France itself will exist if the French gentlemen do not soon cease their runnings about.
Wisely: There is what a kingdom has come to, which all Europe for so many years has wished to imitate in everything. When I read descriptions of the ruinous condition of France, I should like to know against which political rule the French aim in establishing equality of condition.
Count: I do not understand it.
Wisely (to Flatternot): I have not happened to speak with you of this; I should like to know your opinion of it.
Flatternot: I do not undertake at all to decide your question; but I am ready to offer my opinion for your judgment. Here it is: nowhere and never have been or can be such laws as would make every individual man happy. It is indispensably necessary that one part of the subjects should sacrifice something for the sake of the whole kingdom; consequently there cannot be equality of position. That is the invention of the lying philosophers who by their eloquent intellectualisms have led the French to their present situation. They, desiring to avert the abuse of power, are endeavouring to destroy the form of government by which France has attained all her glory. For all this, however much the attempt may and will cost them, they will never attain an equality of situation, whatever laws they make; for one part of the subjects will always require the sacrifice of another. That is what I think of the present French legislation.
Wisely: But if there cannot be laws to make every individual man happy, then what sort of legislation is left?
Flatternot: It remains to calculate that the number of sacrifices should be proportionate to the number of those for whose happiness sacrifices are made.
Wisely: So a legislator ought to be a great calculator.
Flatternot: But these political calculations demand a far more excellent mind than is wanted for mathematical calculations. You can value a hundred Eulers for one Colbert and a thousand Colberts for one Montesquieu.
Wisely: But why?
Flatternot: Because in mathematics from one certainty one goes on to another mechanically, so to speak, and the mathematician has before him all the discoveries of his predecessors; he needs to have only patience and ability to use them; but previous discoveries do not lead the politician on the right path. The mathematician reckons with figures, the politician with passions; in a word, the political sense is and ought to be incomparably higher and is much more rarely met with than the mathematical.
Wisely: Oh, how blessed is that land where such a rare political sense sits upon the throne!
Flatternot: And how happy those who are citizens of such a land! (To the Count.) Of what are you thinking, Count?
Count: I do not understand anything of what you both were talking about.
Wisely: And have you heard that there are now no counts in France?
Countess: That is almost incredible; I did hear something, but I could not believe it.
Wisely: Do you really not understand the French troubles?
Count: I believe that they are great if they put counts on the same level as other people.
Flatternot: When your son goes to France, he will not be a count.
Countess: Then I shall not send him there — not for anything!
Servant (enters): Countess Folliest has been pleased to come, with a stranger.
Countess: I go to meet the benefactress of our house. (Countess Folliest enters.)
Both Countesses: Your highness!
Countess Folliest: I present Mr. Pelican to you.
Pelican (grimacing): Votre altesse!
Countess Folliest : Here is a tutor for your son, dear Countess.
Pelican (grimacing): Votre altesse!
Wisely:
