The Complete 12 Novels of Mark Twain. Mark Twain

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say exactly. That they must think of. That they must talk over. And so on. Did this seem like a damnable plot to Laura against the life, maybe, of a sister, a woman like herself? Probably not. It was right that this man should be hers, and there were some obstacles in the way. That was all. There are as good reasons for bad actions as for good ones, — to those who commit them. When one has broken the tenth commandment, the others are not of much account.

      Was it unnatural, therefore, that when George Selby departed, Laura should watch him from the window, with an almost joyful heart as he went down the sunny square? “I shall see him tomorrow,” she said, “and the next day, and the next. He is mine now.”

      “Damn the woman,” said the Colonel as he picked his way down the steps. “Or,” he added, as his thoughts took a new turn, “I wish my wife was in New Orleans.”

      CHAPTER XL.

       Table of Contents

       Open your ears; for which of you will stop,

       The vent of hearing when loud Rumor speaks?

       I, from the orient to the drooping west,

       Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold

       The acts commenced on this ball of earth:

       Upon my tongues continual slanders ride;

       The which in every language I pronounce,

       Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.

       King Henry IV.

      As may be readily believed, Col. Beriah Sellers was by this time one of the best known men in Washington. For the first time in his life his talents had a fair field.

      He was now at the centre of the manufacture of gigantic schemes, of speculations of all sorts, of political and social gossip. The atmosphere was full of little and big rumors and of vast, undefined expectations. Everybody was in haste, too, to push on his private plan, and feverish in his haste, as if in constant apprehension that tomorrow would be Judgment Day. Work while Congress is in session, said the uneasy spirit, for in the recess there is no work and no device.

      The Colonel enjoyed this bustle and confusion amazingly; he thrived in the air of indefinite expectation. All his own schemes took larger shape and more misty and majestic proportions; and in this congenial air, the Colonel seemed even to himself to expand into something large and mysterious. If he respected himself before, he almost worshipped Beriah Sellers now, as a superior being. If he could have chosen an official position out of the highest, he would have been embarrassed in the selection. The presidency of the republic seemed too limited and cramped in the constitutional restrictions. If he could have been Grand Llama of the United States, that might have come the nearest to his idea of a position. And next to that he would have luxuriated in the irresponsible omniscience of the Special Correspondent.

      Col. Sellers knew the President very well, and had access to his presence when officials were kept cooling their heels in the Waiting-room. The President liked to hear the Colonel talk, his voluble ease was a refreshment after the decorous dullness of men who only talked business and government, and everlastingly expounded their notions of justice and the distribution of patronage. The Colonel was as much a lover of farming and of horses as Thomas Jefferson was. He talked to the President by the hour about his magnificent stud, and his plantation at Hawkeye, a kind of principality — he represented it. He urged the President to pay him a visit during the recess, and see his stock farm.

      “The President’s table is well enough,” he used to say, to the loafers who gathered about him at Willard’s, “well enough for a man on a salary, but God bless my soul, I should like him to see a little old-fashioned hospitality — open house, you know. A person seeing me at home might think I paid no attention to what was in the house, just let things flow in and out. He’d be mistaken. What I look to is quality, sir. The President has variety enough, but the quality! Vegetables of course you can’t expect here. I’m very particular about mine. Take celery, now — there’s only one spot in this country where celery will grow. But I am surprised about the wines. I should think they were manufactured in the New York Custom House. I must send the President some from my cellar. I was really mortified the other day at dinner to see Blacque Bey leave his standing in the glasses.”

      When the Colonel first came to Washington he had thoughts of taking the mission to Constantinople, in order to be on the spot to look after the dissemination of his Eye Water, but as that invention; was not yet quite ready, the project shrank a little in the presence of vaster schemes. Besides he felt that he could do the country more good by remaining at home. He was one of the Southerners who were constantly quoted as heartily “accepting the situation.”

      “I’m whipped,” he used to say with a jolly laugh, “the government was too many for me; I’m cleaned out, done for, except my plantation and private mansion. We played for a big thing, and lost it, and I don’t whine, for one. I go for putting the old flag on all the vacant lots. I said to the President, says I, ‘Grant, why don’t you take Santo Domingo, annex the whole thing, and settle the bill afterwards. That’s my way. I’d take the job to manage Congress. The South would come into it. You’ve got to conciliate the South, consolidate the two debts, pay ‘em off in greenbacks, and go ahead. That’s my notion. Boutwell’s got the right notion about the value of paper, but he lacks courage. I should like to run the treasury department about six months. I’d make things plenty, and business look up.’“

      The Colonel had access to the departments. He knew all the senators and representatives, and especially, the lobby. He was consequently a great favorite in Newspaper Row, and was often lounging in the offices there, dropping bits of private, official information, which were immediately, caught up and telegraphed all over the country. But it used to surprise even the Colonel when he read it, it was embellished to that degree that he hardly recognized it, and the hint was not lost on him. He began to exaggerate his heretofore simple conversation to suit the newspaper demand.

      People used to wonder in the winters of 187-and 187-, where the “Specials” got that remarkable information with which they every morning surprised the country, revealing the most secret intentions of the President and his cabinet, the private thoughts of political leaders, the hidden meaning of every movement. This information was furnished by Col. Sellers.

      When he was asked, afterwards, about the stolen copy of the Alabama Treaty which got into the “New York Tribune,” he only looked mysterious, and said that neither he nor Senator Dilworthy knew anything about it. But those whom he was in the habit of meeting occasionally felt almost certain that he did know.

      It must not be supposed that the Colonel in his general patriotic labors neglected his own affairs. The Columbus River Navigation Scheme absorbed only a part of his time, so he was enabled to throw quite a strong reserve force of energy into the Tennessee Land plan, a vast enterprise commensurate with his abilities, and in the prosecution of which he was greatly aided by Mr. Henry Brierly, who was buzzing about the capitol and the hotels day and night, and making capital for it in some mysterious way.

      “We must create a public opinion,” said Senator Dilworthy. “My only interest in it is a public one, and if the country wants the institution, Congress will have to yield.”

      It may have been after a conversation between the Colonel and Senator Dilworthy that the following special despatch was sent to a New York newspaper:

      “We

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