flames. The poor girl didn’t even realize what was wrong. By the time she realized she had to put out the flaming outfit, the fire had already spread to others. There were many servants, it would certainly be put out, only it seemed to Rhianon that there was more to it. It seemed that the stables near the castle and some buildings in the city were also occupied. She could almost see the dwarves running wild, forced out of their comfort zone. She caught their coarse curses. Well, they had every right to hold a grudge if she accidentally set fire to their usual hiding places. Except that she was somehow certain that this time it wasn’t just her fire that had caused the many nighttime fires in Vinor.
Love is a Rose
The stables below burst into flames. The dried hay took over faster than turpentine. Madael heard the muffled shouts of the dwarves hastily leaving the stables. The dwarves who had been combing the horses’ manes up to that point even rushed to dump buckets of water to save their pets. And they, too, were afraid of fire. For a moment he was even ashamed that he had channeled his anger unnecessarily. But he should not have had a conscience. The frail voice that broke through the devil’s mind was quickly silenced. People don’t have consciences, why should he?
He clenched his fingers so tightly that the claws dug into his palm. With these very claws he’d been pounding the city’s roofs today until he could peel away entire strata of iron. Now the deep scratch marks would remain for a long time on the spires of the main cathedrals and the copper plating on the highest roofs. After sitting there all day, he already felt like a statue. In the overcast sky above him, even the birds had fallen away. Today he was angry and desperate. The echoes of the unearthly hours echoed in his mind like hell. There was probably nothing else for them to go on. It was done! He felt betrayed.
It was painful. After the fall, he hadn’t even imagined that there was a pain he couldn’t bear. As it turned out, there was. It turned out to be a pain stronger than any excruciating sensation he had experienced in the past. It overshadowed everything. He didn’t even think such a thing was possible. This acute sense of loss was beyond his perception. The pain became unbearable. It was joined by something else that pinched and crushed him, something he could not define.
It was as if everything was over. And at the same time it was not over. There would be no end to the pain now, no limit. He clutched his head violently with his hands. No, it had happened before. There was to be no end to the agony to come then, either. There wasn’t. He was used to not seeing any light. And now that the light had come and gone, it was even worse.
It could always be worse. No matter how bad it is now, it is impossible not to imagine even greater torment. The higher powers are inexhaustible in their inventions. Or else he didn’t know it before. Madael wanted to laugh bitterly, but the laughter stuck somewhere deep in his throat. No, you can’t laugh. Not here, not in Vinor. The distant echo of his voice could be heard by everyone, even her. He didn’t want to embarrass her. To think, for the first time in forever, he didn’t want revenge. It was so unnatural, it was even frightening. His hand wasn’t reaching for his sword, and he didn’t want to wring the thin neck of the princess. Sure, the blade in his scabbard begged for blood itself, but not her blood. He would not let that happen. What was he to do now? Fly over Vinor and guard her from all the hordes of people who would welcome a new queen one day and may wish to be treacherous the next. He knew people too well to believe in their sincerity. They too easily succumbed to evil whispers. Often there is no need to whisper. Life does everything. It’s in their nature to be sneaky, to betray. Now Rhianon is admired, in a moment she will be envied. If he does not watch over her and protect her, she will be killed sooner or later. She is too different and superior to humans in every way. They will not forgive her for that. She must be protected from them and even from herself. What he did not think of was ever being anyone’s protector. It was his destiny to be the punishing hand of God and to strike, not to be a shield for anyone. Well, he guessed it’s time to reconsider his fate. He glanced up at the dark skies above Vinor. He challenged them. And it was not for the first time.
He was stronger and more experienced now. Sometimes he felt almost free. The shackles that bound him with each passing century were losing their pristine strength. The farther from heaven, the farther from someone else’s power over him. He could break free. It is not too late. Time is his supporter, not his enemy. If only he had not fallen captive again. What made him skitter over Vinor all day, as if he were trapped in an enchanted circle? He hovered above the crowds, himself invisible to no one, but noticing everything below. He didn’t care about the people, he only watched Rhianon. It was always secretly, always with a touch of pain. He understood now why it hurt so much to look at her, because she no longer belonged to him.
It had been like that before. Somehow it had always hurt him to see her in a crowd. He couldn’t remember the first time he’d seen her, but it hurt when he looked at her. It was as if she’d burned him without his knowing it. It had never happened to him before. He was the one who gave that impression to all who looked at him, the sight of him that burned people like the sun. With Rhianon the effect was reversed and unexpected. He burned himself on her.
He tried to remember the very first time he had noticed her. That day he flew to his tower, wrapped his arms around his head, and sat motionless for a long time in front of the open window. Something flowed down his cheeks, scalding like mercury and seemingly ready to ignite. His skin burned, but it was much more painful what had settled inside him. Something was burning him from the inside, leaving him with a sense of painful heaviness and sorrow. It was like a fall. Like that first moment when he felt that heaven was gone and he was falling down.
Now he was hurtling through the sky even more swiftly than when he first fell. Now he could fly again, his wings holding him aloft. For some reason they began to twitch behind him. He didn’t even notice his small servants shaking the dust off them. He only lifted his hand to wipe the moisture from his cheeks and suddenly realized they were tears. He was crying. He was even sobbing. And the tears rolling down his cheeks seemed to be fiery.
«Why is it?» – The black creature was already crawling on the floor of the tower. «Are you in pain again?»
He didn’t even look away. The fall was behind him, they all knew it, but he did not hide his tears. He did not understand what was happening to him.
«I saw her,» he said to himself, not expecting anyone to understand. Who could, since he did not understand himself? «It hurts that she exists. It hurts!»
His fist came down and shook the wall. Crumbs fell from the pillar. His servants crawled nimbly into the shadows. They were afraid of him. He had taught them to be afraid. They were all afraid of him, even though he was so beautiful, but what good was that beauty if you couldn’t show it to anyone, couldn’t even take off your helmet in front of the men without blinding them. And why is it not? She, that girl, has exactly the same beauty as he himself. But she hasn’t blinded anyone so far. Only him…
Madael remembered it now with a very different feeling. He understood now. He knew now where the pain had come from and why. It had not been resentment at being privileged over someone else. It was the first prick of the rose thorns. That was what he called love. Love was a rose. But her name was Rhianon. He was ready to smash the wall again. He wanted to tear and smash so that nothing remained. Where the Garden of Eden had once blossomed, now there would only be ruins. He was betrayed. Now he understood the wrath of God. Treachery hurts too much. And still he wanted Rhianon back for himself.
That was something he could not even think about. If she did not want to return herself, he could not force her. He could, of course. He could even drag her back by force, but then there would be something missing between them. The fragile trust she’d felt for him when she’d first realized he was an angel would be gone. Before, she
