Ловушка для Мыслеформы. A Trap for a Thought-Form. Премия им. М. Булгакова / M. Bulgakov Award (Билингва: Rus/Eng). Александра Крючкова
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«Perhaps we all are dreams of each other, but this is not a reason to lose darlings. Besides, I did your home task and made a plan for the next 12 months. What does your plan consist of, Alice? I hope you didn’t forget to include my name as well. At least as your student?»
I silently scanned Roman and couldn’t understand what was wrong. Wrong in the whole story: the sudden snowfall of Roman and Pasha’s puzzles. Why? What for? I couldn’t allow myself…
«Okay, Alice, silence is a sign of agreement,» Roman smiled. «Do you know what impressed me in the most charming Baba Yaga of today?»
«How easily did she fly onto the stage?»
«With what ease, joy, tenderness, and without any complexes, she recalled a magical night with her lover in their years. How old was she then? The Witch with „The Devil’s Trill“ looked half her age! However, as you correctly noted at the presentation, age for her, judging by the book, is a sore point, as well as the age difference between…»
I went cold and couldn’t utter a word.
«So what’s the next task, Master?»
At that moment, a heavy hand landed on my shoulder. I turned around and saw the King of Swords.
«Do you mind if I walk you home after the Open Mic?» he asked.
I rashly glanced at Roman with the look that gives away any girl. However, Roman just smiled like saying, «I can’t stay here that long.»
«Okay,» I replied to the King of Swords, and his heavy hand immediately disappeared from my shoulder.
«Do you like him?» Roman asked silently.
«The King of Swords never becomes the King of Cups!»
The Guardian rang the bell, and the break was over.
«You asked me about the next task,» I returned to the ground. «Audit your swamp!»
Task No. 2. INVENTORY
…Make an inventory of all things and objects, including clothes, souvenirs, other people’s gifts, books, magazines, photographs and even files on your electronic device – basically, of everything in your space.
The space should be filled with living energy working for you. Every object has a unique energy, but perhaps some of them have already fulfilled their purpose, and some are not yours at all. Review each item. What feelings does it evoke in you? Decide whether there is a place for it in your world here and now. If it causes negative emotions or none at all, this is not yours, say «thank you» and part with it without regret, with joy. Since the world doesn’t tolerate emptiness, something new will definitely replace the old…
The task is to open your door for the Future…
I went onto the stage and announced the Open Mic. The Cat was already sitting in Roman’s place.
***
I returned home and looked around my swamp.
«Should I sort things out on the weekend? Maybe. To take half to church. Two literary parties have already passed, and the 40th is just around the corner. I will spend the 40th and breathe out: freedom! F-R-E-E-D-O-M!
The 38 evenings left are enough, of course, to find the main Portal in the Mansion. It can’t sneak away from me! The Guardian has no right to prompt, but the Mansion is not the Winter Palace, it’s quite tiny. And nothing would keep me here anymore. Nothing and no one!»
«Hi, my girl. How u?»
«It’s 2 a.m.»
«Alone?»
«Pasha…»
«Like u much but u so distance. Me 4 u how?.. If want. How u want?»
«What’s happened with you, Pasha? Why did you suddenly remember me? What for? I am older than you. You are such a beautiful, kind boy… Forget!»
«Understand. Problem age only? No nerves! 4 me no difference u older. I like u much. Many years like. Feel good with u. Will love always. No leave u. Never. True say 2 u. I call?»
He called me, but I dropped it. What was going on looked like the delirium of a madman. I got out of bed, reached the Tarot cards in the darkness, turned on the nightlight.
Incredible! «The Knight of Cups», «The Magician» and «The Devil» again! They haunted me. But…
«Now… what for?»
3. Грешник
– Забавная афиша, – мягко прошептал Страж, помогая мне снять меха. – Это правда, что автор – проказник?
– Ты невнимательно читал афишу. Его книга называется «Грешник»! Но я не пробовала.
Оставив чашку с кофе на почти уже прописанном за мной столике, я шмыгнула в соседнюю комнату музея. Страж зашёл в неё следом:
– Здесь находится ящик для писем Творцу.
– А у Двери на улице?
– Да, там тоже.
– Я отправляла Ему свои стихи. Много лет назад Наташа Никифорова пригласила меня на акцию «Вечерней Москвы» почитать стихи на Прудах. Была такая же метель, как сегодня. И те стихи, прочитанные мной, я опустила в почтовый ящик у Двери в Особняк. Не было с собой ручки – пришлось вместо письма отправить стихи.
Страж достал из кармана ручку и блокнот.
– Напиши сейчас… – внезапно переходя на шёпот, произнёс он, подойдя ко мне вплотную.
Я зависла в раздумьях – «Зачем теперь?» – и категорично ответила: