You can’t guarantee to influence it, but you try to find certainty and worry that you don’t find it. The forecast is your thoughts, as it may be, and the plan is what you will do at certain events. Only now we need to learn how to plan in the fog. To do this, you have 5 meters of visibility. Hang a sticker or poster at home «I accept uncertainty» and start slowly getting used to it. It will be a long way, but without accepting uncertainty, nothing new will happen.
3. There are no problems. There are only situations and your attitude to them. For example, people don’t want to make you feel bad, they do everything to make them feel good. It turns out their «good» can be «bad» for you. Why do people quarrel? Because they have different views on the same situations. For one it is a problem, but for the other it is not. Of course, tragedies happen in life, and everything is pretty clear here. But time does not stop. You also need to be able to relate to them and experience them correctly. It’s a lot of work, but it’s also a situation, and you have your own attitude to it. Animals have no consciousness and no problems. They are not able to give events such a characteristic as «problem». A crow on the branch is not sad that a raven does not approach her, and she is lonely. She doesn’t croak to everyone around that she has problems in her personal life. Only people call dissatisfaction with the situation or mismatch of expectations a problem. All the problems come from the fact that life has become too simple and safe. Now you don’t have to worry about being eaten by a lion or dying of cold in a cave. The brain is sharpened by evolution to search for risks and anxiety, but our life does not give it reasons. Therefore, the brain finds them in any situation, worries, and we call it problems. We avoid them and are afraid. Moreover, they so simply allow us to justify inaction or harmful decisions. Do not perceive problems as an evil force from the outside that prevents you from living. Replace the word «problem» with «undesirable situation» and make it a rule: «A task should be formulated from any undesirable situation.» Then solve it or use analysis to figure out why it can’t be done.
«Never explain with malicious intent
what can easily be explained by stupidity»
Dependence on certainty can have very bad consequences. If everything is clear in advance, then what will be the motive to develop? When you become financially independent, you become more confident. The future begins to seem certain. This is especially dangerous for those who do not understand their true desires. For them, the comfort zone becomes a breeding ground for degradation. It will be everything, but it will be boring. Like in the joke about the new Russian, who called Christmas tree toys defective. Because they hung beautifully on the Christmas tree and did not, please him. When there is no uncertainty in achieving goals, ambitions gradually disappear. There are tribes of Indians who change their place of residence every two years. Thus, they give the soil a rest, and new locations require new skills and achievements from them to ensure their lives. They did not read books about self-development and did not undergo growth training. They noticed that there is a threat to development in the certainty and comfort zone. They realized that if a person does not learn to cope with difficulties, then he will break down at the first difficult situation, and such times will surely come in every person’s life.
Uncertainty is the beginning of everything new. A place where something happens. Your personal environment for new opportunities in which you grow and gain new experiences. If you do what you know, you don’t move forward. How can you get something new if you act in the old way? Everything new is a risk, and risk is the reverse side of new opportunities and changes. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty, it’s a part of life, and it won’t be any other way. Learn to enjoy uncertainty and notice that you will become happier. In short, you have no choice. Take the time to prepare to realize this and accept the uncertainty. You can wait for certainty and never start, constantly procrastinate and be afraid. Or you can take the first step and competently start moving forward, crushing the uncertainty. The main thing is to understand: while you are thinking, time is passing. It’s not waiting for you. Each of us has minus one day on the counter every day. It is in our best interests to solve it faster: stand still or do something, despite the uncertainty. I’m not saying it will be too late later. I say that you can start enjoying your life to the fullest earlier and do it longer.
Attitude to mistakes
Let’s suppose the previous paragraph gave you a dopamine boost. You imagined how boldly you begin to change your life in conditions of uncertainty. But then you are waiting for mistakes that will eat up dopamine, and therefore enthusiasm. They will certainly be. Even if the plan is ironclad, it is impossible to foresee everything. Any changes are a new experience, which is impossible without mistakes. When I moved to Moscow, the big surprise was the search for housing. We were so focused on the legal subtleties of an official stay and job search that we didn’t find out how the apartment was being rented. Suddenly we found out that if the monthly rent costs 30 thousand rubles, then you can’t just pay this amount and move in. You need to immediately pay 90 thousand rubles. Deposit 30 thousand rubles, for the first month 30 thousand rubles. and for the last 30 thousand rubles. You also need to pay the realtor. The risk that I did not foresee turned into an attraction called «Get out of your comfort zone for 2 weeks.» Negotiation skills, courage for a new one and tolerance for unpleasant work are immediately sharpened. For me, it became a lesson that you need to better analyze the subject area, and added a couple of points to the communication skill. No wonder Nietzsche said: everything that doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. If you do something and there are no mistakes, then you are not doing anything new. You need to try to avoid mistakes, but if they happen, then take them as an asset. This is your valuable experience, your knowledge, which moves you to a higher level. Each new approach to the task you will already do with a new experience, and each time you will go further. Like Tom Cruise in the movie «The Edge of the Future». Any step into uncertainty is a mistake. But not any mistakes are growth. You grow when you make new mistakes. If you step on the same rake every time, then go back to the analysis. Look for the root cause and eliminate it so that you no longer step on the same rake. You should strive to step on a new rake, and not walk on the old ones.
Look at the experiment with clay pots. One group of people was given the task to make as many pots as possible. The second group was told to make perfect pots as perfect as possible. As a result, there were much more almost perfect pots in the first group than in the second. In general, the quality of the pots of the second group was worse than the first. People who didn’t bother, but just performed – achieved a better result much easier! And those who tried to do it perfectly, so that they would be highly appreciated, were in a state of stress and could not even do well. They were afraid of the result, not the action. It does not mean that you need to make as many thoughtless attempts as possible to get the perfect result. You need to grow with every mistake. And if you concentrate on the ideal, then there will always be a fear of making a mistake. Like an anchor that prevents you from starting to move. Allow yourself to make mistakes, love mistakes and don’t blame yourself for them.
«Disappointment is a crystal lens
Fate rewards her favorites with it
So, we are standing at the border
So, something new is already being done»
Instead of «I’ve made a mistake» think, «how interesting it’s turned out, now I know something new.» As Thomas Edison said, he did not suffer defeats, but simply found 10,000 ways that did not work. Look for people who have made mistakes and learn from their experience. Any experienced person has gained experience through mistakes. Not from books and stories, but from mistakes. You, too, will become experienced only in this way.
In my
