by showing us the last end of all our festivities – an attorney’s office would be, of all social marts, the most loathsome. But we might say the same of the gambling-hell, of the Law Court, of the lottery office, of the brothel.
But why? In these places, perhaps, the drama being played in a man’s soul makes him indifferent to accessories, which would also account for the single-mindedness of great thinkers and men of great ambitions.
“Where is my penknife?”
“I am eating my breakfast.”
“You go and be hanged! here is a blot on the copy.”
“Silence, gentlemen!”
These various exclamations were uttered simultaneously at the moment when the old client shut the door with the sort of humility which disfigures the movements of a man down on his luck. The stranger tried to smile, but the muscles of his face relaxed as he vainly looked for some symptoms of amenity on the inexorably indifferent faces of the six clerks. Accustomed, no doubt, to gauge men, he very politely addressed the gutter-jumper, hoping to get a civil answer from this boy of all work.
“Monsieur, is your master at home?”
The pert messenger made no reply, but patted his ear with the fingers of his left hand, as much as to say, “I am deaf.”
“What do you want, sir?” asked Godeschal, swallowing as he spoke a mouthful of bread big enough to charge a four-pounder, flourishing his knife and crossing his legs, throwing up one foot in the air to the level of his eyes.
“This is the fifth time I have called,” replied the victim. “I wish to speak to M. Derville.”
“On business?”
“Yes, but I can explain it to no one but – ”
“M. Derville is in bed; if you wish to consult him on some difficulty, he does no serious work till midnight. But if you will lay the case before us, we could help you just as well as he can to – ”
The stranger was unmoved; he looked timidly about him, like a dog who has got into a strange kitchen and expects a kick. By grace of their profession, lawyers’ clerks have no fear of thieves; they did not suspect the owner of the box-coat, and left him to study the place, where he looked in vain for a chair to sit on, for he was evidently tired. Attorneys, on principle, do not have many chairs in their offices. The inferior client, being kept waiting on his feet, goes away grumbling, but then he does not waste time, which, as an old lawyer once said, is not allowed for when the bill is taxed.
“Monsieur,” said the old man, “as I have already told you, I cannot explain my business to any one but M. Derville. I will wait till he is up.”
Boucard had finished his bill. He smelt the fragrance of his chocolate, rose from his cane armchair, went to the chimney-piece, looked the old man from head to foot, stared at his coat, and made an indescribable grimace. He probably reflected that whichever way his client might be wrung, it would be impossible to squeeze out a centime, so he put in a few brief words to rid the office of a bad customer.
“It is the truth, monsieur. The chief only works at night. If your business is important, I recommend you to return at one in the morning.” The stranger looked at the head clerk with a bewildered expression, and remained motionless for a moment. The clerks, accustomed to every change of countenance, and the odd whimsicalities to which indecision or absence of mind gives rise in “parties,” went on eating, making as much noise with their jaws as horses over a manger, and paying no further heed to the old man.
“I will come again to-night,” said the stranger at length, with the tenacious desire, peculiar to the unfortunate, to catch humanity at fault.
The only irony allowed to poverty is to drive Justice and Benevolence to unjust denials. When a poor wretch has convicted Society of falsehood, he throws himself more eagerly on the mercy of God.
“What do you think of that for a cracked pot?” said Simonnin, without waiting till the old man had shut the door.
“He looks as if he had been buried and dug up again,” said a clerk.
“He is some colonel who wants his arrears of pay,” said the head clerk.
“No, he is a retired concierge,” said Godeschal.
“I bet you he is a nobleman,” cried Boucard.
“I bet you he has been a porter,” retorted Godeschal. “Only porters are gifted by nature with shabby box-coats, as worn and greasy and frayed as that old body’s. And did you see his trodden-down boots that let the water in, and his stock which serves for a shirt? He has slept in a dry arch.”
“He may be of noble birth, and yet have pulled the doorlatch,” cried Desroches. “It has been known!”
“No,” Boucard insisted, in the midst of laughter, “I maintain that he was a brewer in 1789, and a colonel in the time of the Republic.”
“I bet theatre tickets round that he never was a soldier,” said Godeschal.
“Done with you,” answered Boucard.
“Monsieur! Monsieur!” shouted the little messenger, opening the window.
“What are you at now, Simonnin?” asked Boucard.
“I am calling him that you may ask him whether he is a colonel or a porter; he must know.”
All the clerks laughed. As to the old man, he was already coming upstairs again.
“What can we say to him?” cried Godeschal.
“Leave it to me,” replied Boucard.
The poor man came in nervously, his eyes cast down, perhaps not to betray how hungry he was by looking too greedily at the eatables.
“Monsieur,” said Boucard, “will you have the kindness to leave your name, so that M. Derville may know – ”
“Chabert.”
“The Colonel who was killed at Eylau?” asked Hure, who, having so far said nothing, was jealous of adding a jest to all the others.
“The same, monsieur,” replied the good man, with antique simplicity. And he went away.
“Whew!”
“Done brown!”
“Poof!”
“Oh!”
“Ah!”
“Boum!”
“The old rogue!”
“Ting-a-ring-ting!”
“Sold again!”
“Monsieur Desroches, you are going to the play without paying,” said Hure to the fourth clerk, giving him a slap on the shoulder that might have killed a rhinoceros.
There was a storm of cat-calls, cries, and exclamations, which all the onomatopeia of the language would fail to represent.
“Which theatre shall we go to?”
“To
