looked invitingly at Captain Guzman, who silently puffed for a minute or so before speaking:
“A month ago, the single boat which constitutes the navy of President Yozarro was engaged in target practice; one of the shots passed over the boundary and struck the dwelling of a citizen of Zalapata, smashing in a side-wall and scaring the family to that extent that they are still a-tremble. Complaint was made to President Yozarro, who treated the complainant with contempt. Then appeal was had to President Bambos, who despatched a messenger to Yozarro, demanding damages and an apology, and the salutation of our flag. What answer did the tyrant send? He kicked the messenger down the steps of his palace, bidding him to tell our revered President that if he or anyone else came to him on a similar errand, he would ram him down the throat of one of his cannon and fire at the palace of General Bambos.”
“But that threat is idle,” gravely remarked Major Starland.
“Why?” demanded President Bambos.
“Neither he nor you have any ordnance big enough to allow a man to serve as a charge for it.”
“A quibble!” commented the Captain; “it does not lessen the deadly nature of the insult.”
“What is the amount of the claim?”
General Bambos nodded to the Captain to answer.
“Forty-two pesos.”
“Ah-um!” mused the American, who picked up a pencil from the table and made a few figures on a blotting pad; “the present value of a peso is twenty-eight cents. That would make the total damage eleven dollars and seventy-six cents in the currency of my country. Does President Yozarro refuse to pay this claim?”
“He not only refuses to pay the just demand,” thundered the President, “but accompanies his refusal with an unpardonable insult.”
“No one can deny that you have cause for indignation, but knowing how deeply you have the good of your people and country at heart, General, I would ask whether there is not some way of settling the dispute without going to war.”
“Explain yourself,” said the President severely, for, having set his heart on having war, he did not mean to be bluffed out of it.
“Why not refer the dispute to The Hague Tribunal of Arbitration?”
“What good could come from that?”
“Suppose it decided in your favor and ordered General Yozarro to pay the claim?”
“That wouldn’t wipe out the insult.”
“But, if he was ordered to apologize?”
“He wouldn’t do it.”
“How do you know he wouldn’t?”
“Don’t I know the man better than The Hague Tribunal or anyone else knows him?”
“If you have so clear a case against President Yozarro, the decision is sure to be in your favor.”
“You forget, Sir, that The Hague has insulted the Republic of Zalapata through its President.”
“I was not aware of that.”
“When the members assembled a short time ago, I sent a representative with a request that he be permitted to act as one of them. Do you know what reply was made? They said they had never heard of the Republic of Zalapata.”
“In other words, they told you to make a reputation first. Quite natural, under the circumstances. Nevertheless, I would beg to insist that the proper course is to refer this quarrel to The Hague Tribunal, unless the President of the United States can be induced to act as arbitrator. More than likely he will settle the wrangle by paying the claim out of his own pocket.”
“You mistake your man!” roared General Bambos; “you fail to see that that would relieve General Yozarro from punishment for his insults and outrages against Zalapata. It would encourage him to continue his infamous course, since our powerful neighbor on the north would relieve him from all penalty. Moreover, it would display a fatal timidity on the part of the United States regarding their pet idol, – the Monroe Doctrine. Such a subterfuge cannot be permitted.”
“I had thought of offering to pay the bill myself.”
With fine sarcasm, General Bambos said: “I am glad you are provided with a surfeit of funds. Perhaps you will be willing to float our last loan?”
“That depends upon its size; if it isn’t more than a few hundred dollars I am quite ready to give you a lift.”
“I must decline to permit any more quibbling.”
“Will you consent that I shall close the incident by paying this claim against President Yozarro of the Republic of Atlamalco?”
“I do if you will agree to enforce the other conditions.”
“What are they?”
“That he shall apologize, salute our flag and pledge himself never again to turn his gun in the direction of our boundary line.”
“You have added impossible terms, General, for you would bind him to make no resistance in the event of your going to war with him.”
“And don’t you perceive on your part that there is nothing to arbitrate? This talk of arbitration is very fine for the one who is in the wrong. Suppose a set of employees refuse to work any longer unless their wages are doubled. The employer, knowing it means his ruin, refuses, and the strikers demand that the dispute shall be referred to arbitration. Is that just? – is it common sense?”
“Not on the part of the employees. But your supposition is hardly supposable; the employers would incur no risk in agreeing to arbitration, since no committee on earth would fail to decide in their favor, after the whole truth was made clear to them. I have noticed that it is generally the one who is in the wrong who refuses to arbitrate. At the same time, I concede that there can be no such thing as forced arbitration. Every employer or capitalist has the right to run his own business to suit himself, just as any man, or set of men, have the right to quit work and to try to persuade their friends to quit with them; but, your pardon, General; we are wandering from the question.”
“A suggestion I was about to make. When you reflect that a respectful demand has been made upon President Yozarro for the payment of a just claim, and that he brutally refuses, what would you advise, most wise and honored Sir?”
“I have offered to pay the claim myself.”
“Your offer is declined, since you cannot enforce all the conditions.”
“I have named arbitration.”
“And I have pointed out the impossible folly of such a thing.”
“Admitting that President Yozarro refuses to comply with the decision of The Hague Tribunal, you will not only be free to carry out your original intention, but you will be justified before the world.”
“No more than I shall be justified now, for many of the Atlamalcans themselves condemn the course of their President.”
“Why not make one more appeal to him?”
“How
