please don’t leave me. I have been watching you and your friends ever since our ship sailed, and as I must talk to some one, I wish it to be you. If you only knew how sorry I am to have created a scene and to have given so much trouble, when everybody has been so kind.”
Then the girl began to cry again, but softly as if her desire for tears was nearly spent.
Without replying Mrs. Burton took her former position.
Occasionally she had a moment of thinking that perhaps after her years of experience as a Camp Fire guardian she was beginning to understand something of the utterly unlike temperaments of varying types of girls. Moreover, in spite of Aunt Patricia’s judgment, her work had afforded her unusual opportunities for the study of human nature.
Now, as she sat silently watching the young French girl in her effort to regain her self-control, Mrs. Burton realized that hers would be no ordinary story. Her friend had chosen to protect her by stating that she was suffering from an attack of nerves, yet this instant the girl was making an intense effort to gain a fresh hold upon herself both mentally and physically.
“I am sorry,” she repeated a moment later, “for I realize now I should never have made the attempt to return home to France, although I thought after nearly three years in the United States surely I had the courage! Still, for the past few days I have been becoming more and more convinced that I was going to fail, that I had not the strength for the work ahead of me. What you were told just now, that I had merely fainted, was not true. I had made up my mind that since I was not going to be able to be of service to my country I would not add to her burden. I could not do that; there had to be some way out, and I had to find the way.”
Sitting up, Yvonne now leaned forward, resting her small head with its heavy weight of fair hair upon her hands, clasped under her chin. She was not looking at her companion. Her eyes held an expression which betrays an inner vision.
“I did make an effort to do what you suspect. I wonder if I was wrong? Certainly I was unsuccessful, since I do not even feel ill in consequence. I suppose I ought to explain that I had written a note to apologize for the mistake I had made in urging the Red Cross unit to bring me with them to France and to say I regretted the distress and trouble I must give. Then as I was carrying the letter to the room of the friend whom you found here with me I think I must have fainted. She was shocked and angry when she learned what I had attempted to do and I have given my word I will not try again.” Yvonne was silent for a moment and then added with another catch in her voice: “Do you think it wicked of me, because I am still a little sorry I failed in what I attempted? But I don’t think you will when I have told you my history.”
Under ordinary circumstances Yvonne’s broken and incoherent story would have annoyed Mrs. Burton. She had scant sympathy and could make but slight excuse for the neurotic persons who have no fortitude with which to meet life’s inevitable disasters but expend all their energy in compassion for themselves. Especially did she resent this characteristic in a young girl, having grown accustomed to the sanity and the outdoor spirit engendered by the Camp Fire life. Moreover, one has at present no time or pity save for real tragedies.
Yet Yvonne’s attitude had not so affected her. Instead she realized that the girl’s suffering had been due to a vital cause and that the secret of her action still remained hidden.
“Had you not better rest and talk to me later?” Mrs. Burton inquired. “I think you are very tired, more so than you realize. After a time perhaps you will see things more clearly. You are young, Yvonne, to believe there is nothing more for you in life that is worth while.”
“I know that would be true if these were not war times, Madame,” the girl answered. “Will you please listen to my story now? There may be no opportunity at another time.”
Slipping out of her berth, Yvonne proffered the one small chair the state-room afforded to her visitor.
“Won’t you sit here? You may be more comfortable,” she suggested.
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