The Wooing of Calvin Parks. Richards Laura Elizabeth Howe

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mebbe 'twas smart; but hossy was smarter, for he reached round his head and c'ot him by the seat of his pants – Jerusalem! if you'll excuse the expression, Miss Hands, how that feller did holler! Me and Si come hikin' out, thought he was killed and got the hives besides; when we see what was up, we sot down and laughed till, honest, we had to lean against one another or we'd rolled over an' over on the ground. Hossy held on like a good 'un till I told him to let go, and then he dropped the pants and went to work eatin' grass as if nothin' had been goin' on at all."

      "Did you ever?" cried Mary Sands. "I never knew a hoss could have that much sense, Mr. Parks. Why, 'twas like a person more than a dumb critter."

      "There's critters and critters!" said Calvin Parks. "Hossy's a prize package, that's a fact. Want a bite, hossy? tain't dinner time yet, but a bite won't hurt you."

      He took a nose-bag from the wagon and hung it over the brown horse's head. The horse, who had gone to sleep as soon as he stopped, opened one eye, blinked at his master, and shut it again.

      "Oh, all right!" said Calvin. "Any time; suit yourself! Only I can't wag your jaws for ye, ye know."

      Mary had turned to enter the house, saying something about telling Cousin he was coming.

      "Oh! wait just a minute, Miss Hands!" Calvin called. "I took the liberty – " he rummaged among his drawers, and finally brought out a small parcel.

      "I dono – most prob'ly it ain't just what you'd like. I couldn't tell what flavor you'd prefer, and I always think myself that pep'mint is the wholesomest – "

      Amazed and embarrassed at finding himself embarrassed, Calvin paused awkwardly, holding the box of peppermints in his hand; but when he saw Mary Sands blushing in the delightful red and brown way she had, and caught the twinkle in her eye, he was suddenly at ease again.

      "You try 'em!" he said simply, and gave her the box.

      "Why, Mr. Parks!" cried Mary. "You don't mean to say you brought these for me? Well, you are more than kind, I must say. Why, they're deleecious! There's nothing like pep'mint to my taste; now this is surely a treat. I'm a thousand times obliged to you, Mr. Parks. These don't taste like boughten candy; there's a real kind of home-made flavor to 'em."

      "That's right!" said Calvin. "That's just it; they are home-made. Them pep'mints is made by an old gentleman in East Cyrus. I lighted on 'em by accident, as you might say, and 'twas a good job I did."

      "How was that?" Mary inquired civilly.

      "Why, I ain't greatly acquainted in these parts, you know, Miss Hands; been away so much, you understand, and never was one to go much when I was to home, only amongst the near neighbors. I dono as ever I was in East Cyrus before. 'Tis a pleasant-lookin' place. Nice street; not many stores, but what there was was ship-shape and Bristol fashion; folks personable and well-appearin'; I was pleased with East Cyrus. I druv along kind o' slow, lookin' for my kind of a place; sure enough, I come to a little store with candy in the window. Hossy saw it too, and stopped of his own accord.

      "'That so?' says I. 'Friend of yours, hossy?' He nods his head real sociable, hossy doos, and I was just goin' to ramble down out of that squirrel-cage, when the door opens kind o' smart, and someone hollers out, 'I don't want any! You can go right along!'

      "'Can!' says I. 'Now that's real accommodatin' of you. Anywheres special you'd like me to go? That's what I come to inquire about,' I says.

      "He was a little man, kind o' dried up, but yet smart-lookin', and he was smart. He looks at hossy. 'You can go to Thunder!' he says.

      "'First turn to the right, or second to the left?' says I. Then he looks at me. 'Hello!' he says; 'it ain't you!'

      "'No,' I says; 'it ain't. It's my half-uncle's widder from out west,' I says.

      "He kind o' laughed. 'What are you doin' with his hoss, then?' says he.

      "'I bought it off'n him,' says I; 'it's my hoss now, and my team. Like to know how many teeth we've got between us?'

      "'Well, all the same I don't want any!' he says; and he starts to go back into the store.

      "'Excuse me!' I says, as polite as I knew how. 'Would you have any objections to namin' over the things you don't want? I didn't know as I'd offered you anything, but mebbe I done it in my sleep.'

      "'Glucose is one thing,' he says. 'Terry alba, coal-tar, plaster-of-Paris; them's some of the things I don't want. And you're another. Is that enough?'

      "'Not quite I says. 'Go slow, shipmate! If you wanted them things the wust way in the world you couldn't get 'em off'n me, 'cause I ain't got 'em."

      "He grunted. 'Tell that to the monkey!' he says.

      "'I am,' I says, 'or the nearest I can see to one.'

      "'He always had 'em he says,'and tried to sell 'em to me every time he come by.'

      "'I know!' says I. 'I found 'em in the stock, and I sot 'em on the fire and seen 'em burn. Gitty up, hossy!' I says. 'We'll go on and see if there's any place in this village where they keep manners,' I says, 'and we'll send this old gentleman a half a pound to stock up with!' I says.

      "'Hold on!' he says. 'I spoke too quick. Come in and we'll talk.'

      "So I went. Had half a mind not to, but 'twan't the sensible half. I tell you, I had a real pleasant time, Miss Hands. Come to get him smoothed down and combed out, and he was as pleasant an old gentleman as ever I see. But he was an old-fashioned candy-maker, you see, and he didn't like these new-fangled ways any more than what I do. Never had a pound of glucose on his premises, nor never will; nothin' but pure sugar. We had a real good time together; and he gave me them pep'mints, and I'm goin' to have 'em reg'lar every week. He's got a little kitchen in back there that's a perfect pictur' to look at. I'd like to have you see it, Miss Hands, honest I would."

      At this moment a loud and peevish crow was heard from the house.

      "There!" said Mary Sands. "We must be goin' in, Mr. Parks. Cousin's gettin' impatient, I expect."

      They found Mr. Sim fairly spluttering with impatience.

      "What – what – what – " he began as they entered; "I didn't know as you was ever comin', Cousin. I'd oughter have had my med'cine – that you, Cal? – half an hour ago; set down, won't you? half a glass, with sugar and hot water! pretty well, be ye? I'm most choked to death, settin' here waitin'."

      "There, Cousin!" said Mary Sands in her mellow, soothing voice. "I'll get you the medicine right away; though if the truth was told I expect you'd be better off without it. I don't hold with all this dosin', do you, Mr. Parks?"

      "I do not!" said Calvin Parks. "Looks to me as if all the doses he'd been takin' for a week was havin' it out inside him, and no two agreein'. Say, Sim! s'pose you let Miss Hands throw away all that stuff, and take a pep'mint instead."

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