Shark he made a punctureIn the barque – and then in John.
Sad am I, and sore at thinking
John had on some clothes of mine;
I can almost see them shrinking,
Washed repeatedly in brine.
I shall never cease regretting
That I lent my hat to him,
For I fear a thorough wetting
Cannot well improve the brim.
Oh! to know a shark is browsing,
Boldly, blandly on my boots!
Coldly, cruelly carousing
On the choicest of my suits!
Creatures I regard with loathing
Who can calmly take their fill
Of one's Jæger underclothing: —
Down, my aching heart, be still!
The Fond Father
OF Baby I was very fond,
She'd won her father's heart;
So, when she fell into the pond,
It gave me quite a start.
Necessity
LATE last night I slew my wife,
Stretched her on the parquet flooring;
I was loath to take her life,
But I had to stop her snoring.
Unselfishness
ALL those who see my children say,
"What sweet, what kind, what charming elves!"
They are so thoughtful, too, for they
Are always thinking of themselves.
It must be ages since I ceased
To wonder which I liked the least.
Such is their generosity,
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