The Crux: A Novel. Gilman Charlotte Perkins
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She drew a great breath of relief. "Then you haven't – done it?"
"Done what? What's all this mysterious talk anyhow? The prisoner has a right to know what he's charged with before he commits himself."
The girl was silent, finding it difficult to begin.
"Well, out with it. What do they say I did?" He picked up a long dry twig and broke it, gradually, into tiny, half-inch bits.
"They say you – went to the city – with a lot of the worst boys in college – "
"Well? Many persons go to the city every day. That's no crime, surely. As for 'the worst boys in college,'" – he laughed scornfully – "I suppose those old ladies think if a fellow smokes a cigarette or says 'darn' he's a tough. They're mighty nice fellows, that bunch – most of 'em. Got some ginger in 'em, that's all. What else?"
"They say – you drank."
"O ho! Said I got drunk, I warrant! Well – we did have a skate on that time, I admit!" And he laughed as if this charge were but a familiar joke.
"Why Morton Elder! I think it is a – disgrace!"
"Pshaw, Vivian! – You ought to have more sense. All the fellows get gay once in a while. A college isn't a young ladies' seminary."
He reached out and got hold of her hand again, but she drew it away.
"There was something else," she said.
"What was it?" he questioned sharply. "What did they say?"
But she would not satisfy him – perhaps could not.
"I should think you'd be ashamed, to make your aunt so much trouble. They said you were suspended – or —expelled!"
He shrugged his big shoulders and threw away the handful of broken twigs.
"That's true enough – I might as well admit that."
"Oh, Morton! – I didn't believe it. Expelled!"
"Yes, expelled – turned down – thrown out – fired! And I'm glad of it." He leaned back against the fence and whistled very softly through his teeth.
"Sh! Sh!" she urged. "Please!"
He was quiet.
"But Morton – what are you going to do? – Won't it spoil your career?"
"No, my dear little girl, it will not!" said he. "On the contrary, it will be the making of me. I tell you, Vivian, I'm sick to death of this town of maiden ladies – and 'good family men.' I'm sick of being fussed over for ever and ever, and having wristers and mufflers knitted for me – and being told to put on my rubbers! There's no fun in this old clamshell – this kitchen-midden of a town – and I'm going to quit it."
He stood up and stretched his long arms. "I'm going to quit it for good and all."
The girl sat still, her hands gripping the seat on either side.
"Where are you going?" she asked in a low voice.
"I'm going west – clear out west. I've been talking with Aunt Rella about it. Dr. Bellair'll help me to a job, she thinks. She's awful cut up, of course. I'm sorry she feels bad – but she needn't, I tell her. I shall do better there than I ever should have here. I know a fellow that left college – his father failed – and he went into business and made two thousand dollars in a year. I always wanted to take up business – you know that!"
She knew it – he had talked of it freely before they had argued and persuaded him into the college life. She knew, too, how his aunt's hopes all centered in him, and in his academic honors and future professional life. "Business," to his aunt's mind, was a necessary evil, which could at best be undertaken only after a "liberal education."
"When are you going," she asked at length.
"Right off – to-morrow."
She gave a little gasp.
"That's what I was whippoorwilling about – I knew I'd get no other chance to talk to you – I wanted to say good-by, you know."
The girl sat silent, struggling not to cry. He dropped beside her, stole an arm about her waist, and felt her tremble.
"Now, Viva, don't you go and cry! I'm sorry – I really am sorry – to make you feel bad."
This was too much for her, and she sobbed frankly.
"Oh, Morton! How could you! How could you! – And now you've got to go away!"
"There now – don't cry – sh! – they'll hear you."
She did hush at that.
"And don't feel so bad – I'll come back some time – to see you."
"No, you won't!" she answered with sudden fierceness. "You'll just go – and stay – and I never shall see you again!"
He drew her closer to him. "And do you care – so much – Viva?"
"Of course, I care!" she said, "Haven't we always been friends, the best of friends?"
"Yes – you and Aunt Rella have been about all I had," he admitted with a cheerful laugh. "I hope I'll make more friends out yonder. But Viva," – his hand pressed closer – "is it only – friends?"
She took fright at once and drew away from him. "You mustn't do that, Morton!"
"Do what?" A shaft of moonlight shone on his teasing face. "What am I doing?" he said.
It is difficult – it is well nigh impossible – for a girl to put a name to certain small cuddlings not in themselves terrifying, nor even unpleasant, but which she obscurely feels to be wrong.
Viva flushed and was silent – he could see the rich color flood her face.
"Come now – don't be hard on a fellow!" he urged. "I shan't see you again in ever so long. You'll forget all about me before a year's over."
She shook her head, still silent.
"Won't you speak to me – Viva?"
"I wish – " She could not find the words she wanted. "Oh, I wish you – wouldn't!"
"Wouldn't what, Girlie? Wouldn't go away? Sorry to disoblige – but I have to. There's no place for me here."
The girl felt the sad truth of that.
"Aunt Rella will get used to it after a while. I'll write to her – I'll make lots of money – and come back in a few years – astonish you all! – Meanwhile – kiss me good-by, Viva!"
She drew back shyly. She had never kissed him. She had never in her life kissed any man younger than an uncle.
"No, Morton – you mustn't – " She shrank away into the shadow.
But, there was no great distance to shrink to, and his strong arms soon drew her close