those cases a very infallible one – the eye.
Pshaw! nonsense and stuff. – The eye! – The eye has no authority in a court of law.
Perhaps not, Sir, but it is a decisive evidence in a court of love.
Hark you, hussy, why you would not file an information against the virtue of madam your mother; you would not insinuate that she has been guilty of crim. con.?
Sir, you mistake me; it is not the lady, but the gentleman I am about to impeach.
Have a care, Charlot! I see on what ground your action is founded – jealousy.
You were never more deceiv'd in your life; for it is impossible, my dear Sir, that jealousy can subsist without love.
Well.
And from that passion (thank heaven) I am pretty free at present.
Indeed!
A sweet object to excite tender desires!
And why not, hussy?
First as to his years.
What then?
I own, Sir, age procures honor, but I believe it is very rarely productive of love.
Mighty well.
And tho' the loss of a leg can't be imputed to Sir Luke Limp as a fault —
How!
I hope, Sir, at least you will allow it a misfortune.
Indeed!
A pretty thing truly, for a girl, at my time of life, to be ty'd to a man with one foot in the grave.
One foot in the grave! the rest of his body is not a whit the nearer for that. – There has been only an execution issued against part of his personals, his real estate is unencumbered and free – besides, you see he does not mind it a whit, but is as alert, and as merry, as a defendant after non-suiting a plaintiff for omitting an S.
O! Sir! I know how proud Sir Luke is of his leg, and have often heard him declare, that he would not change his bit of timber for the best flesh and bone in the kingdom.
There's a hero for you!
To be sure, sustaining unavoidable evils with constancy is a certain sign of greatness of mind.
Doubtless.
But then to derive a vanity from a misfortune, will not I'm afraid be admitted as a vast instance of wisdom, and indeed looks as if the man had nothing better to distinguish himself by.
How does that follow?
By inunendo.
Negatur.
Besides, Sir, I have other proofs of your hero's vanity, not inferior to that I have mention'd.
Cite them.
The paltry ambition of levying and following titles.
Titles! I don't understand you?
I mean the poverty of fastening in public upon men of distinction, for no other reason but because of their rank; adhering to Sir John till the Baronet is superceded by my Lord; quitting the puny Peer for an Earl; and sacrificing all three to a Duke.
Keeping good company! a laudable ambition!
True, Sir, if the virtues that procur'd the father a peerage, could with that be entail'd on the son.
Have a care, hussy – there are severe laws against speaking evil of dignities. —
Sir!
Scandalum magnatum is a statute must not be trifled with: why you are not one of those vulgar sluts that think a man the worse for being a Lord?
No, Sir; I am contented with only, not thinking him the better.
For all this, I believe, hussy, a right honourable proposal would soon make you alter your mind.
Not unless the proposer had other qualities than what he possesses by patent. Besides, Sir, you know Sir Luke is a devotee to the bottle.
Not a whit the less honest for that.
It occasions one evil at least; that when under its influence, he generally reveals all, sometimes more than he knows.
Proofs of an open temper, you baggage: but, come, come, all these are but trifling objections.
You mean, Sir, they prove the object a trifle.
Why you pert jade; do you play on my words? I say Sir Luke is —
Nobody.
Nobody! how the deuce do you make that out? – He is neither person attained or outlaw'd, may in any of his majesty's courts sue or be sued, appear by attorney, or in propria persona, can acquire, buy, procure, purchase, possess, and inherit, not only personalities, such as goods, and chattels, but even realities, as all lands, tenements, and hereditaments, whatsoever, and wheresoever.
But, Sir —
Nay, further child, he may sell, give, bestow, bequeath, devise, demise, lease, or to farm lett, ditto lands, to any person whomsoever – and —
Without doubt, Sir; but there are notwithstanding in this town a great number of nobodies, not described by lord Coke.
Hey!
There is your next-door neighbour, Sir Harry Hen, an absolute blank.
How so, Mrs. Pert?
What, Sir! a man who is not suffer'd to hear, see, smell, or in short to enjoy the free use of any one of his senses; who, instead of having a positive will of his own, is deny'd even a paltry negative; who can neither resolve or reply, consent or deny, without first
