Barrack Room Ballads. Rudyard Kipling

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Barrack Room Ballads - Rudyard Kipling

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You limpin’ lump o’ brick-dust, Gunga Din!

               Hi! slippery hitherao!

               Water, get it!  Panee lao!

           You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga Din.”

         The uniform ‘e wore

         Was nothin’ much before,

         An’ rather less than ‘arf o’ that be’ind,

         For a piece o’ twisty rag

         An’ a goatskin water-bag

         Was all the field-equipment ‘e could find.

         When the sweatin’ troop-train lay

         In a sidin’ through the day,

         Where the ‘eat would make your bloomin’ eyebrows crawl,

         We shouted “Harry By!”

          Till our throats were bricky-dry,

         Then we wopped ‘im ‘cause ‘e couldn’t serve us all.

               It was “Din! Din! Din!

           You ‘eathen, where the mischief ‘ave you been?

               You put some juldee in it

               Or I’ll marrow you this minute

           If you don’t fill up my helmet, Gunga Din!”

         ‘E would dot an’ carry one

         Till the longest day was done;

         An’ ‘e didn’t seem to know the use o’ fear.

         If we charged or broke or cut,

         You could bet your bloomin’ nut,

         ‘E’d be waitin’ fifty paces right flank rear.

         With ‘is mussick on ‘is back,

         ‘E would skip with our attack,

         An’ watch us till the bugles made “Retire”,

         An’ for all ‘is dirty ‘ide

         ‘E was white, clear white, inside

         When ‘e went to tend the wounded under fire!

               It was “Din! Din! Din!”

            With the bullets kickin’ dust-spots on the green.

               When the cartridges ran out,

               You could hear the front-files shout,

           “Hi! ammunition-mules an’ Gunga Din!”

         I shan’t forgit the night

         When I dropped be’ind the fight

         With a bullet where my belt-plate should ‘a’ been.

         I was chokin’ mad with thirst,

         An’ the man that spied me first

         Was our good old grinnin’, gruntin’ Gunga Din.

         ‘E lifted up my ‘ead,

         An’ he plugged me where I bled,

         An’ ‘e guv me ‘arf-a-pint o’ water-green:

         It was crawlin’ and it stunk,

         But of all the drinks I’ve drunk,

         I’m gratefullest to one from Gunga Din.

               It was “Din! Din! Din!

           ‘Ere’s a beggar with a bullet through ‘is spleen;

               ‘E’s chawin’ up the ground,

               An’ ‘e’s kickin’ all around:

           For Gawd’s sake git the water, Gunga Din!”

         ‘E carried me away

         To where a dooli lay,

         An’ a bullet come an’ drilled the beggar clean.

         ‘E put me safe inside,

         An’ just before ‘e died,

         “I ‘ope you liked your drink”, sez Gunga Din.

         So I’ll meet ‘im later on

         At the place where ‘e is gone —

         Where it’s always double drill and no canteen;

         ‘E’ll be squattin’ on the coals

         Givin’ drink to poor damned souls,

         An’ I’ll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din!

               Yes, Din! Din! Din!

           You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!

               Though I’ve belted you and flayed you,

               By the livin’ Gawd that made you,

           You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

      Oonts

(Northern India Transport Train)

         Wot makes the soldier’s ‘eart to penk, wot makes ‘im to perspire?

         It isn’t standin’ up to charge nor lyin’ down to fire;

         But it’s everlastin’ waitin’ on a everlastin’ road

         For the commissariat camel an’ ‘is commissariat load.

             O the oont, O the oont, O the commissariat oont!

              With ‘is silly neck a-bobbin’ like a basket full o’ snakes;

             We packs ‘im like an idol, an’ you ought to ‘ear ‘im grunt,

              An’ when we gets ‘im loaded up ‘is blessed girth-rope breaks.

         Wot makes the rear-guard swear so ‘ard when night is drorin’ in,

         An’ every native follower is shiverin’ for ‘is skin?

         It ain’t the chanst o’ being rushed by Paythans from the ‘ills,

         It’s the commissariat camel puttin’ on ‘is bloomin’ frills!

             O the oont, O the oont, O the hairy scary oont!

              A-trippin’ over tent-ropes when we’ve got the night alarm!

             We socks ‘im with a stretcher-pole an’ ‘eads ‘im off in front,

              An’ when we’ve saved ‘is bloomin’ life ‘e chaws our bloomin’ arm.

         The ‘orse ‘e knows above a bit, the bullock’s but a fool,

         The elephant’s a gentleman, the battery-mule’s a mule;

         But the commissariat cam-u-el, when all is said an’ done,

         ‘E’s a devil an’ a ostrich an’ a orphan-child in one.

             O the oont, O the oont, O the Gawd-forsaken oont!

              The lumpy-’umpy ‘ummin’-bird a-singin’ where ‘e lies,

             ‘E’s blocked the whole division from the rear-guard to the front,

              An’ when we get him up again –

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