somehow legitimized – not least because clans exist that can accommodate them. Meanwhile, the narrow degrees of separation from clan life are viewed as invalid, a response that only serves to exacerbate the unease – pushing us further towards the edge and making us feel locked inside our own circumstances.
Of course, many declare themselves outsiders, perhaps because it suits their self-image of rugged individualism (as with Hemingway) or creative non-conformity (as with Orwell). And we can hide our discomfort with defiance – even arrogance. Yet, far from being an enabling disposition (one giving us the advantages Gladwell et al would have us believe), outsiders tend to exhibit troubling and often highly-disabling attributes that both separate us from the group and, over time, reinforce our exclusion.
Are You An Outsider?
So are you an outsider? Chances are it's a question requiring no answer: most people know. Nonetheless, it's worth pointing out what sets us apart, even if it's for cathartic – rather than identification – purposes. And, please note, while there are positives to being an outsider (hence the book), nothing in the traits below offers genuine, disadvantaged, outsiders an edge. Quite the opposite.
Sensitivity. Outsiders tend to be acutely aware of their surroundings, as well as others' responses to their actions and words. And this makes them less able to unquestioningly engage: to take it in their stride. Such feelings start very young. Around 20 percent of toddlers experience early-life social sensitivity, which means – according to psychologist Daniel Goleman in his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence (1996) – they interact less, cry more, perceive threats more readily and are acutely shy with strangers.
And while half this group develop social competence by childhood, half remain ‘behaviourally inhibited’. They may talk less, dislike domestic animals, refuse to eat new foods, and exhibit extreme reticence and withdrawal when meeting new people or even irregular contacts such as aunts and uncles. Even in adulthood, sensitive people become the wallflowers. They detest social situations while becoming ‘morbidly afraid of having to give a speech or perform in public’, says Goleman. So focused are they on their own sensitivity, they can also become insensitive to others' feelings.
And while some learn to overcome their timidity, others develop social anxiety that lasts a lifetime: always feeling on the edge of the group, socially anxious and alone in a crowd.
Cynicism. A chicken-and-egg propensity perhaps, but outsiders – by definition – observe things differently. We notice alternative aspects of a situation, usually more negative or troubling elements that others ignore (perhaps deliberately). This can work in our favour – as we'll explore later. But clan life likes conformity. So anyone spotting what shouldn't be spotted (perhaps what others are trying to hide), and vocalizing it, is likely to find themselves censured and potentially ostracized.
Of course, cynics may perceive and potentially exaggerate negativity. And that reinforces any nascent sense of distrust we feel towards others. Yet there's a wider concern with respect to distrust: that we're inwardly reacting to a sense of powerlessness. We look at societal structures and hate them simply because they feel like foreign impositions locking us out. And that makes us susceptible to conspiracy theories: to convictions that dark forces control our lives, which is a viewpoint unlikely to encourage integration.
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