Daddy Long-Legs. Джин Уэбстер
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It was great fun, though I have seen better candy. When it was finally finished, and ourselves and the kitchen and the door-knobs all thoroughly sticky, we organized a procession and still in our caps and aprons, each carrying a big fork or spoon or frying pan, we marched through the empty corridors to the officers’ parlor where half-a-dozen professors and instructors were passing a tranquil evening. We serenaded them with college songs and offered refreshments. They accepted politely but dubiously. We left them sucking chunks of molasses candy, sticky and speechless.
So you see, Daddy, my education progresses!
Don’t you really think that I ought to be an artist instead of an author?
Vacation will be over in two days and I shall be glad to see the girls again. My tower is just a trifle lonely; when nine people occupy a house that was built for four hundred, they do rattle around a bit.
Eleven pages—poor Daddy, you must be tired! I meant this to be just a short little thank-you note—but when I get started I seem to have a ready pen.
Good-by, and thank you for thinking of me—I should be perfectly happy except for one little threatening cloud on the horizon. Examinations come in February.
P. S. Maybe it is n’t proper to send love? If it is n’t, please excuse. But I must love somebody and there ’s only you and Mrs. Lippett to choose between, so you see—you ’ll have to put up with it, Daddy dear, because I can’t love her.
Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,
You should see the way this college is studying! We ’ve forgotten we ever had a vacation. Fifty-seven irregular verbs have I introduced to my brain in the past four days—I ’m only hoping they ’ll stay till after examinations.
Some of the girls sell their text-books when they ’re through with them, but I intend to keep mine. Then after I ’ve graduated I shall have my whole education in a row in the bookcase, and when I need to use any detail, I can turn to it without the slightest hesitation. So much easier and more accurate than trying to keep it in your head.
Julia Pendleton dropped in this evening to pay a social call, and stayed a solid hour. She got started on the subject of family, and I could n’t switch her off. She wanted to know what my mother’s maiden name was—did you ever hear such an impertinent question to ask of a person from a foundling asylum? I did n’t have the courage to say I did n’t know, so I just miserably plumped on the first name I could think of, and that was Montgomery. Then she wanted to know whether I belonged to the Massachusetts Montgomerys or the Virginia Montgomerys.
Her mother was a Rutherford. The family came over in the ark, and were connected by marriage with Henry the VIII. On her father’s side they date back further than Adam. On the topmost branches of her family tree there ’s a superior breed of monkeys, with very fine silky hair and extra long tails.
I meant to write you a nice, cheerful, entertaining letter to-night, but I ’m too sleepy—and scared. The Freshman’s lot is not a happy one.
Dearest Daddy-Long-Legs,
I have some awful, awful, awful news to tell you, but I won’t begin with it; I ’ll try to get you in a good humor first.
Jerusha Abbott has commenced to be an author. A poem entitled, “From my Tower,” appears in the February Monthly—on the first page, which is a very great honor for a Freshman. My English instructor stopped me on the way out from chapel last night, and said it was a charming piece of work except for the sixth line, which had too many feet. I will send you a copy in case you care to read it.
Let me see if I can’t think of something else pleasant—Oh, yes! I ’m learning to skate, and can glide about quite respectably all by myself. Also I ’ve learned how to slide down a rope from the roof of the gymnasium, and I can vault a bar three feet and six inches high—I hope shortly to pull up to four feet.
We had a very inspiring sermon this morning preached by the Bishop of Alabama. His text was: “Judge not that ye be not judged.” It was about the necessity of overlooking mistakes in others, and not discouraging people by harsh judgments. I wish you might have heard it.
This is the sunniest, most blinding winter afternoon, with icicles dripping from the fir trees and all the world bending under a weight of snow—except me, and I ’m bending under a weight of sorrow.
Now for the news—courage, Judy!—you must tell.
Are you surely in a good humor? I flunked mathematics and Latin prose. I am tutoring in them, and will take another examination next month. I ’m sorry if you ’re disappointed, but otherwise I don’t care a bit because I ’ve learned such a lot of things not mentioned in the catalogue. I ’ve read seventeen novels and bushels of poetry—really necessary novels like “Vanity Fair” and “Richard Feverel” and “Alice in Wonderland.” Also Emerson’s “Essays” and Lockhart’s “Life of Scott” and the first volume of Gibbon’s “Roman Empire” and half of Benvenuto Cellini’s “Life”—was n’t he entertaining? He used to saunter out and casually kill a man before breakfast.
So you see, Daddy, I ’m much more intelligent than if I ’d just stuck to Latin. Will you forgive me this once if I promise never to flunk again?
Dear Daddy-Long-Legs,
This is an extra letter in the middle of the month because I ’m sort of lonely to-night. It ’s awfully stormy; the snow is beating against my tower. All the lights are out on the campus, but I drank black coffee and I can’t go to sleep.
I had a supper party this evening consisting of Sallie and Julia and Leonora Fenton—and sardines and toasted muffins and salad and fudge and coffee. Julia said she ’d had a good time, but Sallie stayed to help wash the dishes.
I might, very usefully, put some time on Latin to-night—but, there ’s no doubt about it, I ’m a very languid Latin scholar. We ’ve finished Livy and De Senectute and are now engaged with De Amicitia (pronounced Damn Icitia).
Should you mind, just for a little while, pretending you are my grandmother? Sallie has one and Julia and Leonora each two, and they were all comparing them to-night. I can’t think of anything I ’d rather have; it ’s such a respectable relationship. So, if you really don’t object—When I went into town yesterday, I saw the sweetest cap of Cluny lace trimmed with lavender ribbon. I am going to make you a present of it on your eighty-third birthday.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
That ’s the clock in the chapel tower striking twelve.