here.” Irial didn’t open his eyes, but he smiled a little.
“You’re an ass,” Niall said, but he kept his hand on Irial’s chest so that he could feel both pulse and breath.
“You too, Gancanagh,” Irial murmured.
Far too many miles away from Huntsdale, Keenan leaned against the damp cave wall. Outside, the desert sky glimmered with stars, but he wanted to be home, had wanted to be home since almost the moment he’d left. Soon. He’d needed to be away, needed to find answers, and until he did that he couldn’t go back. Being on his own was unheard of, but despite the challenges, he was certain he was doing the right thing. Of course, he’d been certain of a lot of things. Surety was not a trait he lacked, but it did not always lead to wise choices.
He closed his eyes and let sleep take him.
“Is this what you freely choose, to risk winter’s chill?” Sunlight flickered under his skin, and he reveled in the hope that this time it would not end, that this time, this girl, was the one he’ d been seeking for so long.
She didn’t look away. “It’s what you want.”
“You understand that if you are not the one, you’ll carry the Winter Queen’s chill until the next mortal risks this? And you agree to warn her not to trust me?” He paused, and she nodded. “If she refuses me, you will tell the next girl and the next”—he moved closer—“and not until one accepts, will you be free of the cold.”
“I do understand.” She walked over to the hawthorn bush. The leaves brushed against her arms as she bent down and reached under it—and stopped.
She straightened and stepped away from the staff. “I understand, and I want to help you . . . but I can’t. I won’t. Maybe if I loved you, I could, but . . . I don’t love you. I’m so sorry, Keenan.”
Vines wrapped around her body, became a part of her, and as they stretched toward him, his sunlight faded.
He dropped to his knees . . . and was once more in front of another girl. He’ d done this for centuries: asked the same words of girl after girl. He couldn’t stop, not until he found her. He saw her, though, and he knew that this girl was different.
“Is this what you freely choose, to risk winter’s chill?” he asked her.
She glared at him. “It’s not what I want.”
“You understand that if you are not the one, you’ll carry the Winter Queen’s chill until the next mortal risks this? And you agree to warn her not to trust me?” He held his breath for a moment, feeling the sunlight flare in his body.
“I don’t love you,” she said.
“If she refuses me, you will tell the next girl and the next”— he moved closer—“and not until one accepts, will you be free of the cold.”
“I do understand, but I don’t want to be with you for eternity. I don’t want to be your queen. I’ll never love you, Keenan. I love Seth.” She smiled at someone who stood in the shadows, and then she walked toward the hawthorn bush—and kept walking.
“No! Wait.” He reached down, and his fingers wrapped around the Winter Queen’s staff. The rustling of trees grew almost deafening as he ran after her.
Her shadow fell on the ground in front of her as he stood behind her. “Please, Aislinn. I know you’re the one. . . .”
He held out the Winter Queen’s staff—and hoped. For a moment he even believed, but when she turned and took it from his hands, the ice filled her. Her summer-blue eyes filled with frost, and it crawled over her body.
Aislinn screamed his name: “Keenan!”
She stumbled toward him, and he ran from her until he couldn’t breathe in the freezing air from her continuing screams.
He fell to his knees, surrounded by winter.
“Keenan?”
He looked up.
“No. You can’t. Say no. Please say no,” he pleaded.
“But I’m here. You told me to come to you, and I’m here.” She laughed. “You told me you needed me.”
“Donia, run. Please, run,” he urged. But then he was compelled to ask, “Is this what you freely choose, to risk winter’s chill?”
She stared directly at him. “It’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted.”
“You understand that if you are not the one, you’ll carry the Winter Queen’s chill until the next mortal risks this? And you agree to warn her not to trust me?” He paused, hoping she’ d say no before it was too late.
She nodded.
“If she refuses me, you will tell the next girl and the next”— he moved closer—“and not until one accepts, will you be free of the cold.”
“I do understand.” She smiled reassuringly, and then she walked over to the hawthorn bush. The leaves brushed against her arms as she bent down and reached under it.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
She smiled again as her fingers wrapped around the Winter Queen’s staff. It was a plain thing, worn as if countless hands had clenched the wood.
He moved even closer. The rustling of trees grew almost deafening. The brightness from her skin, even her hair, intensified.
She held the Winter Queen’s staff—and the ice did not fill her. Sunlight did.
She breathed his name in a sigh: “Keenan.”
“My queen, my Donia, I wanted it to be you.” His sunlight seemed to fade under her brightness. “It’s you . . . it’s really you. I love you, Don.”
He reached for her, but she stepped away.
Her sunlight grew blinding as she laughed. “But I’ve never loved you, Keenan. How could I? How could anyone?”
He stumbled after her, but she walked away, leaving him, taking the sunlight with her.
Keenan was still reaching for her when he opened his eyes. The cave where he’d been sleeping was filled with steam. Not frost. Not ice. He let the sunlight inside him flare brighter, trying to chase away the darkness where his fears and hopes played out in twisted dreams.
Not so different from reality.
The faery he’d loved for decades and the queen he’d sought for centuries were both angry with him.
Because I’ve failed them both.
Chapter
