in the store, and she’s got two potential dates.
“Chastity! Come over here. Right now.” There’s a familiar militant note in her voice. I obey and join her, towering over her suitors.
“This is Grant,” Mom says, indicating the five-foot-seven man. “And this one…Donald?”
“That’s right!” Donald (five-four) applauds. “Well done, Betty!”
“Hello,” I say. “I’m the daughter. Chastity.”
My mother turns to me and puts her hands on her hips. “Grant and Donald are interested in a threesome,” she announces loudly. “With me.”
“Good God!” I splutter. “Not with my mother, you freaks. Get away from her or I will kill both of you and dump your bodies in the river.” They remain frozen in terror, so I slam my size eleven foot into their cart and send it careening down the aisle. “Go!” I bark. Terrified, they scuttle down the aisle toward the vegetable oil.
“Thank you, darling,” Mom says briskly. “Disgusting! People today! I can’t believe that.”
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