‘No.’
‘Dance with me.’
‘No.’
‘Come on.’
She dragged him into the middle of the room. It was packed solid. People weren’t dancing, they were just marking time sexily.
‘No luck?’ she said.
‘No.’
He resisted telling her about the phone number. Sonia seemed too mature to be boasted about.
‘And you?’
‘No.’
He pressed his body against her, but felt no thrill. In any case she lived in the same house. Mr Mendel had said: ‘Why don’t you make for our Brenda? She’s a nice girl.’ ‘Too close,’ he had said.
‘Excuse me, will you, love? There’s a feller over there I want to work on,’ she said now.
He went into the kitchen. The punchbowl was a mass of leaves and red silt and sodden butt ends. He opened a bottle of light ale.
‘Oh, there you are. Sorry about that,’ said Polly.
He gave her his glass of light ale and opened another bottle. The drink would be running out soon.
‘He’s someone I know from art school. I want him to do something for me. Carry some heavy paintings.’
‘What’s wrong with me?’
‘Nothing, but I like you.’
He must say something amusing. But nothing came. He fell back upon his memory.
‘This man was carrying a grandfather clock down the street,’ he said. ‘And he knocked over this man with it. The man got up, looked at him very crossly, and said: “Why can’t you wear a watch like everyone else?”’
‘We’ve got rather a super grandfather clock at home,’ said Polly.
‘Have you?’
‘Daddy would die if he could see me here. He’s an admiral.’
‘What attitude does he take to your being a painter?’
Polly did a loud and for all Robert knew wickedly accurate impersonation of her father. A group of people, entering the kitchen, were amazed to hear her say, in a gruff naval roar: ‘Well, it’s your choice, little Polly Perkins. All I’ll say is this. Make a success of it. Be a good painter, and we’ll be damned proud of you, the bosun and I.’
He smiled, not without a nervous glance at the new arrivals. He put a hand on her muscular arm and steered her back into the main room. Her flesh was cold and flaccid.
They began to mark time.
‘Will you be a good painter?’ he said.
‘Extremely,’ she said.
He flung his mouth on hers, too violently. She shook it off.
‘We’re supposed to be dancing,’ she said.
‘There isn’t room.’
‘Then we’d better talk. Ask me about my grisly family.’
‘Tell me about your grisly family.’
‘They think art is un-English. Unless it’s ducks and sunsets, of course. We live near Haslemere. It’s grisly.’
Up and down, up and down, marking time, a great mass of drunken people, much to the annoyance of Muswell Hill.
‘Do you really want to stay at this party, Polly?’
‘Not particularly. Why?’
‘Come home and have a drink.’
‘No.’
‘Don’t you trust me?’
‘It isn’t that.’
‘Well let me come and look at your pictures.’
‘There’s only coffee.’
‘That’s all right.’
‘Well all right then.’
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘We’d better say good-bye.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Yes, it does.’
They said good-bye to Doreen and Brenda, and their host. He wanted them all to see that he was going off with a girl.
The night was cold. ‘That’s better. It was so unreal in there,’ he said.
‘I hate parties,’ said Polly.
He offered her a taxi, but she said she’d prefer to walk. ‘It’s only just round the corner,’ she said.
They walked for ninety minutes. On Hampstead Heath he held her tight against a beech tree and squeezed two fingers down as far as they would go between her breasts. Then they walked in silence. He was frozen. An owl hooted. A goods train answered. The owl hooted again.
‘Aren’t you cold?’ he said.
‘I don’t feel the cold,’ she said. ‘We admirals’ daughters are tough.’
At last they arrived. Polly lived on the top storey of a grey nineteenth-century terrace behind Swiss Cottage. Her room was quite large. It was full of dirty things, cups, knickers, brushes, overalls, paintings. The bed wasn’t made. There was a smell of cat. All three bars of the electric fire were on. It was stifling.
She began to make two very disorganized cups of coffee.
‘I’m warning you. You’re not making love to me,’ she said.
‘Well?’
‘I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea, that’s all. I’ve decided to be a virgin until I fall in love. And I hope I never do. Men want you to give yourself to them. I want to be me. I’m an individualist. I believe people should be conventional in unimportant matters like sex. I reserve my rebellion for my work.’
‘Are these your pictures?’
‘Yes.’
They were all purple. He hated them.
‘I like them,’ he said.
‘They’re pretty good. But my next ones’ll be much better.’
‘Will they be purple too?’
‘I don’t know.
