That’s Your Lot. Limmy
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‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘Come around here and look.’
‘What is it?’ she asked again. ‘It isnae a fly or something is it? If it is, I don’t want to see it.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘Just come here and look. It’s funny.’
‘Funny?’ she asked.
She wondered what could possibly be funny about porridge, so she stood up and walked around to his side of the table. She looked into the bowl of porridge, and then at the spoon. There was nothing funny there.
She asked: ‘So what is it?’
Jason raised the spoon and turned it slightly. ‘D’you not think that looks a bit like Charlie?’
She began walking away, without looking at the spoon. She couldn’t be bothered with this.
‘Look!’ said Jason, smiling.
She stopped and turned. Curiosity got the better of her. She walked back to Jason’s side, knowing that it was a waste of time. But she was curious.
She looked at the spoon, ready to say ‘No’ and walk away. But you know what?
‘It does!’ she said.
She leaned closer to it, and tilted her head from side to side to view it from different angles. She laughed. ‘It actually does!’
She looked for her phone to take a picture, she was going to send it to Charlie’s wife Deborah. But she couldn’t find it.
Jason smiled at the porridge on the spoon, then pointed at one bit with his pinky. ‘Do you see that bit there? That’s his hair. Do you see it? How much does that look like Charlie’s hair?’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘It’s the spitting image.’
And it was. It was the double. Charlie had thick, wiry fair hair that looked all wavy and bumpy like a cloud. Or like a lump of porridge.
Mary looked at it for a while longer, then she lost interest.
She walked back around to her side of the table and sat down. And it was back to business as usual, as quickly as that. George went back to eating his porridge. They finished their breakfast, left the house, got into their separate cars and went away to work.
A few days later, something else happened.
Mary read about it when she and Jason were having breakfast. Deborah had posted an update on Facebook.
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