with her own father, the unfaltering bond between parent and child. Someday, she’d have that for herself, a child to love her unconditionally.
But when she conjured herself a family, the picture was no longer vague and unfocused. Eric was the child she pictured as her own. And Alex Marrin had taken over the role as fantasy father and perfect mate. Not that she wanted to marry him and have his children. But she wanted a father for her children who could love as deeply as he did.
Holly sighed softly, then began to gather the boxes and bags scattered around the floor. When she’d tidied the room, she walked over to the light switch and flipped the lights off. This was always her favorite moment, when the tree came to life in front of her eyes. She wasn’t sure how long she stared at the tree, enjoying the pungent odor of fresh pine and the soft light thrown across the ceiling.
“Beautiful.”
She turned to find Alex standing a few feet behind her. “You like it?”
“I wasn’t talking about the tree.”
Holly felt a blush warm her cheeks. How a simple compliment could disarm her! Especially when it came from Alex Marrin. “I think the bugs work.”
“Would you like a glass of wine?” Alex asked.
Holly nearly caught herself accepting his offer. “Now that I’ve finished here, I should get to work hanging the garland in the library. And I’ve got to plan for the—”
He took her arms and slowly turned her around. Without hesitation, he cupped her face between his hands and brought his lips softly down on hers. The kiss was so gentle, so unexpected, that Holly wasn’t sure what to do. No surge of indignation washed over her, no embarrassment or guilt. Just warm and wonderful pleasure.
His mouth lingered over hers for a long time, testing, tasting. Holly slid her palms up his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking against him. When he tried to pull back, she urged him not to stop, her fingers splayed across his nape. A soft moan rumbled low in his throat as the passion grew between them by degrees.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since that very first night,” he murmured, his breath soft against her cheek. He traced a line of kisses from her jaw to the notch at the base of her neck. “Tell me you wanted this, too.”
“I—I’m not sure,” Holly murmured, tipping her head back to fully enjoy the feel of his mouth on her skin. She thought she knew exactly what she wanted, to maintain a safe distance from Alex. But now, she found herself wanting his kisses much more.
Alex furrowed his hand through her hair, then forced her to meet his gaze. “Why do you deny this? We’re attracted to each other, Holly. It’s really quite simple.”
“But it’s not,” she said. “I’m here to do a job. And I have a life back in New York City, a career and business to run.”
He arched his brow. “I’m not asking you to stay,” Alex murmured. “This isn’t a proposal of marriage.”
Holly drew in a sharp breath, the warmth his kiss had brought leaving her body. She placed her palms on his chest and pushed him away. “Which is exactly why we can’t do this,” she said.
“You want an engagement ring before you’ll let me kiss you again?”
“No!” Holly cried. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Then what is it?”
She scrambled for a sane reason why she couldn’t allow herself to be seduced by Alex Marrin’s charm. But nothing she came up with made the least bit of sense. Why not kiss him, as long as it felt good? Why not let passion take its course? It’s not as if she were engaged to Stephan! She was a single woman, free to explore her passions with whatever man she chose. “There’s another man,” she blurted out, taking the first excuse she could find.
Alex nuzzled her neck playfully. “There won’t be after tonight.”
“It’s quite serious.” She felt his lips abandon the pulse point on her neck. His shoulders stiffened and he drew away.
“You’re engaged?” He stared at her as if she’d suddenly sprouted horns and a pitchfork tail.
The emotion in his eyes, barely controlled anger, self-loathing, made her retreat a step. “No. I—I mean, yes. We’ve known each other for ages and last Christmas Stephan asked me to marry him.” It wasn’t really a lie, just not the entire truth.
“I don’t see an engagement ring,” Alex said.
“I don’t need a ring to remind me of how I feel.”
“And how do you feel when you’re with him, Holly?” Alex asked. “Does he make you feel the way I do? All warm and breathless? Out of control? Willing to do anything for this?” He caught her around the waist and yanked her closer.
“Stop it,” she warned, her gaze transfixed by the desire blazing in his eyes, her voice lacking any conviction.
He leaned closer. “Make me.” With that, he lowered his mouth to hers. She expected all the anger she saw in his expression to flow into his kiss. But it wasn’t there. Only need, desire so fierce that she could feel it flooding into her body from his. And when he drew away, leaving her breathless, her instinct was only to lash back at him for taking away every ounce of her self-control.
“You can’t change the past by punishing me. I’m not her, Alex, and when I leave after Christmas and all the decorations are put away and all the cookies are eaten, you won’t be able to blame me. I won’t be abandoning you. I’ll just be going back to my life.”
He cursed softly, then turned away from her. The heat from his body suddenly disappeared and Holly shivered. “Well, I guess that answers all my questions,” he said. He rubbed his hands together, then glanced around the room. “Do you need any help cleaning up here? If not, I’ve got work to do in the barn.”
“That’s it?” Holly asked.
He forced a smile. “Don’t worry, Miss Bennett. I won’t be kissing you anytime soon. Unless, of course, you beg me to.” With that, he grabbed his jacket and strode to the back door.
The sharp sound of it slamming made her jump and she pressed her palm to her chest, only to find her heart beating like an overwound clock. “Good,” she murmured, “I’m glad that’s all cleared up.” She took in a shaky breath, then turned to finish tidying up the family room. But her body trembled so uncontrollably that she finally had to sit down.
This was good, wasn’t it? Alex didn’t want her anymore. No more lustful looks, no more passionate longing. No more kisses? Holly groaned and put her face in her hands. Now, if she could just convince herself that this was what she wanted, she might be able to concentrate on the job at hand. And not on the breathless, reckless, wanton way Alex Marrin made her feel.
“GET PACKED AND TAKE the first train up here,” Holly ordered, trying to keep the edge of hysteria from her voice. “There’s a train at 8:20 that arrives here just before noon.”
“Mom?”
“No! It’s Holly.”
For a long moment, there was
