awareness. She kept hearing the local sheriffs voice in her mind, describing Jack’s killers.
“Druggers. Probably crossing the river with a load. Thought you might see ‘em and report it. Easier to shoot ya.” A shake of the head. “We’ll never find ’em. Gone into the mountains, already in Mexico. Too late...too late.”
Jack’s murder had gone unpunished and the fairness and principles he’d believed in had gone by the wayside. He’d never received the kind of justice he’d deserved. She mentally shook herself and pulled away from the images and haunting voice to concentrate on the present. After Jack’s death, Richard had guided her through all the legal problems and had virtually run the business single-handedly. Slowly, so slowly she hadn’t even noticed until the past year, their relationship had evolved into something else, in spite of her continued emotional problems. Richard had turned into more than a friend.
But an engagement? Was she ready for that step?
She looked across the table at the handsome, elegant man. What she felt for him wasn’t the wild, at-first-sight-and-forever kind of love she’d had with Jack, but a woman could only hope to be that lucky once in a lifetime, and she’d had her turn. Which, actually, was a perfectly acceptable situation to Taylor. She didn’t even want that kind of connection again—it hurt too much when it ended.
Richard lifted her hand to his lips and brushed his mouth over the tips of her fingers. “What do you say?” He nodded toward the diamond ring and smiled. “Do you think that might be your size?”
She answered his smile with one of her own, but deep down, more questions began to assail her. Was it fair to Richard to commit to a relationship if she wasn’t sure?
As if sensing her hesitation, he pressed. “I don’t want to wait any longer, Taylor. I know my feelings for you are stronger than yours are for me, but with time, that will change, I’m sure of it. You’ll grow to love me just as much as I love you.”
His words made her feel instantly guilty and unappreciative of everything he’d done for her. She tried to explain. “Richard, you’ve been so kind, so patient, and I really do appreciate it, but I...I’m having nightmares again...and well...I’m not sure I’m ready yet. I want to sell the ranch—”
He picked up the box holding the diamond and took her hand in his, interrupting her words to slip the ring over her finger. “Maybe this could help make up your mind.”
She looked at the enormous diamond. It felt heavy and foreign on her finger and had obviously cost a fortune. “It’s really beautiful but—”
“No more buts. I picked it out just for you. Please...”
She hesitated again, then spoke softly. “Richard... I—I can’t do anything until I take care of the ranch first. You know that. We’ve discussed this before.”
He shook his head slowly, a look of patience on his aristocratic features. “Please don’t be offended, but I think you’re using that as an excuse, sweetheart. It’s time for our relationship to get serious. It’s time to move on.”
“And selling the ranch is the first step to doing that.” She leaned across the table. “Don’t you see, Richard? The only closure I’ll be able to find with Jack’s death will be gained by getting rid of Diablo. His killers got away, but I can get rid of the place if nothing else.” She leaned back in her chair. “Besides, there’s no reason on earth to keep the property—”
“Darling, there’s lots of reasons. That land is gorgeous, for one! When I saw it—that time I went out with Jack before he bought it—I loved the place. Anyone would. And if land prices keep going up, it’s going to be worth a fortune some day. If you hang on to the ranch, you could end up being a very rich woman.” He smiled again. “That’s what I’d call a good reason to keep it.”
“I’m rich already,” she said bluntly. “Jack left an insurance policy of almost a million dollars. Between that and the business, I’ll never need any money.” Without thinking, she began to knead her shoulder. Beneath the silk, she could feel the slight indentation of the scar. Of the bullet wound. “What I don’t need is that land. The memories are too bad, and I want to get rid of it. I could never go back there.”
“Then don’t go. But don’t sell it.”
“I have to.”
“You’re being foolish.”
“I don’t care.”
They stared at each other, a standoff in the making. He was being practical, realistic, the way men usually were. She was going beyond that, into an emotional abyss he didn’t understand and she couldn’t really explain.
A moment’s silence passed, then Richard reached for the champagne bottle and refilled her flute. “What do you say we talk about this later? I want this to be our special night.” The pale gold wine bubbled up and edged over the rim of the glass, dampening the tablecloth. Richard’s eyes met hers above the candles. “Let’s just celebrate, then if you really do want to sell the place, we’ll discuss it some more, I promise.”
They’d already discussed the issue more than once, and each time he’d tried to change her mind. In fact, now that she thought about it, she was sure that’s why her nightmares had returned. She’d felt compelled to press the issue more and more lately, maybe because she’d sensed Richard’s proposal was coming and knew she couldn’t decide with the ranch hanging over her. For a second, she considered persevering. Then after a moment more of thought, Taylor gave in. He was right. This wasn’t the time or the place.
“All right,” she said quietly. “We’ll talk about it later. But in the meantime, you keep the ring.”
She tugged at the band of gold with the giant stone, but he reached across the table and stopped her a second time from taking it off. “No, please, Taylor. Wear it, look at the diamond, and think of me...and think how happy I could make you if you’d let me.”
“But—”
“Please...”
She hesitated, then finally acquiesced. He’d done so much for her, had helped with everything. He’d be the perfect husband, she was sure. “All right. But I’m not saying yes.”
He grinned. “But you’re not saying no.”
She smiled back. “I promise you I’ll think about it.”
“Good.” He opened his menu with an approving smile that told her he knew what her answer would be, then began to discuss what they should order. She listened inattentively, and her fingers found her shoulder and rubbed it slowly.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK came and went, and they didn’t talk about selling the ranch. And the week after that, they didn’t discuss it either. Always on the edge, Taylor felt the pendulum of her emotions swinging out of control, her nerves like wires, stripped and bare. She talked the situation over with Dr. Kornfeld, but Taylor seemed unable to control her thoughts. As if they had a mind of their own, they began to coalesce and focus with an intensity bordering on obsession. All she could think about was one thing—selling Diablo. If she just did that, she knew everything else would fall into place. Getting rid of the ranch and all the emotional baggage it carried would set her free. A telephone call to a real estate agent wouldn’t do it, either. She didn’t
